She's waking every 10-20 minutes.

[numberthirtytwowindsorgardens]

What the hell do I do? DD is 9mo. She used to sleep 7-5/6ish with one wake for a feed around 3/4am. Now she's awake every 10-20 minutes from 11pm. Cuddling doesn't work, co sleeping doesn't work- tonight I've been leaving her in her cot and going in to cuddle her and then put down, but she's been awake for basically two hours now and won't stop crying.

She isn't ill. She isn't hungry. What am I doing wrong?

You're not doing anything wrong. She's right in the middle of leap 6 (wonder weeks). Keep your consistency and she'll come out the other side and then enter the next sodding leap!

The older she gets, the more she will pick up on lack of consistency so that's your key for these next few leaps.

You're not doing anything wrong op, my little boy was like this from the moment he was born (he's 18 months now and still not much better!)
Any possibility of teething? We used to rock him in the pushchair to get him back off to sleep some nights as a last resort, maybe give that a try.
It's very difficult and sleep regression is normal for babies so don't blame yourself

Is she warm enough? Does she have a dummy? Will she take one? Have you tried white noise? Does she calm down when you cuddle her? Or she's inconsolable no matter what?

Should have posted this with my reply too.

Thank you for the replies!

What does consistency look like? Previously I've cuddled her to sleep, but that no longer works; sometimes she'll calm down if I cuddle her, sometimes she'll keep screaming, but she doesn't go back to sleep and the second I put her down she starts again.

She doesn't have a dummy and has never learnt to suck her thumb. She has a cuddly toy but I don't think she really likes it or derives comfort from it.

Surely it isn't normal for her to cry for two hours straight? She's always been a bad sleeper but she's been getting worse and I'm losing my mind.

Is she teething?

Just keep up your routine of what you want sleep to look like.

Leaps are developmental and they disrupt sleep but the problem with them as baby gets older is that baby is able to understand that waking up = being taken to mummy's bed. There is nothing wrong with that AT ALL if that's what you want and are happy with. So consistency just means keeping going with the pattern you are happy with and want to maintain and she'll eventually (some leaps take longer than others) come out the other side and settle down again.

If tonight seems worse/different to other nights, then there is nothing wrong with a dose of calpol or neurofen to see if that helps too. One dose won't harm her even if there's nothing wrong but sometimes it's worth it to see if it helps. I've just given mine a dose of calpol actually because he's woken twice tonight crying. I'm assuming it's his teeth now because the calpol seems to have helped.

She's hit a sleep regression which xan be for many reasons including developmental, teething or not feeling well.
It takes babies a lot longer to get into deep sleep then people realise a d it sounds like she isn't ticking over into deep sleep. It is unfortunately normal. DS1 was like this til we sleep trained him.

There is a thing called the stay and support method where you gently sit next to the cot and pat and sushhhhh unless she's hysterical rather then rocking to sleep. Ideally it needs your partner to start it for first few days. Has she got a comforter? This could be a square of muslin. If not then get one and wear it down your top for a day.
It's hard going first few days but does ease up.

Sounds like teeth to me. I would give some calpol and some teething granules and walk her up and down her room holding her upright over your shoulder for 15 mins in the dark until she is fast asleep on you, then transfer to cot. Mine always like music playing.

She is teething, but frankly she has been doing so for the last five months without a break!

Thank you all for the advice. She finally went to sleep at about three and I fed her when she woke at four. But three hours of hysterical screaming is very sad 🙁

The problem with her is that, if you're in the room, it seems to wind her up more. She isn't comforted by being stroked, or patted, or shushed - she just gets more and more agitated because you're there but not picking her up. And if you do pick her up, it comforts her briefly, but doesn't put her to sleep. I walked her for half an hour last night and she was still wide awake at the end of it.

I wouldn't mind co-sleeping if it meant we all got some sleep, but she still wakes every 20m in our bed and screams herself to sleep again. I know it sounds like I'm rejecting every suggestion, but I'm willing to try anything - it's just that nothing so far has worked!

Thank you all for the support during a long dark night of the soul!

DS is exactly the same and it leaves me at a loss when he screams in the night because being there makes him worse. He has never been one to be rocked to sleep and prefers being in his cot, in a dark room (with white noise when he was younger). So, honestly, I've been there.

Thsnkfully, leaps aside, he's been a relatively good sleeper but I've had to navigate the nights he's woken up and juggle it with knowing he won't settle with me there. I've spent many a night wondering what the hell to try next.

He's 16m now so hopefully we're coming out the other side of "baby sleep" and he's becoming an infant but it's been hard so every credit to you. Sometimes I think it would be easier if he were a cuddler or a Co sleeper etc but in all honesty, it has made bedtimes and bedtime routine a lot easier being able to just put him to bed easily and I had many friends who would have loved to have been able to not spend hours rocking baby in the dark or creeping out of rooms avoiding certain floorboards. I try to remind myself of that when he has a bad night. x

I would definitely try something like calpol. Our son is a bad sleeper but when he gets to the 10 min wake up stage it always seems to be pain related

I will definitely try calpol tonight, thank you. I'm just worried she's getting really bad associations with bed - she has always screamed like crazy if you lay her down, even just to change her or put her into her sleeping bag. I can't imagine being able to put her down 'drowsy but awake'!

@Milkand2sugarsplease I will keep my fingers crossed that you're on the way out of the bad sleep period! The thought of another 8m of this makes me go cold, honestly.

You are doing nothing wrong, and it is normal for them to cry, even a lot sometimes.

Mine hated bed. I could not put her down to sleep, at all, for months. She would instantly wake and cry. My partner had some success, but me? Nope. And as she got older and more mobile, she would get extremely overtired but refuse to sleep on me as well. It was hell. It really was. But I can report she is now a healthy, happy, energetic seven year old and the hours of screaming and crying haven’t hurt her.

One of the most important things is that you look after yourself because babies are exhausting but in some ways more resilient than us because they aren’t capable of self doubt or overthinking the way adults are. Her crying for hours isn’t going to hurt her but it is hurting you, so you need some respite for that.

Hiya, my 8 month old is doing the same I spent 4:30-6:30am crying whilst she thrashed around the bed. Co sleeping pointless here. No illness, no teeth. Argh

@Chattycathydoll that actually made me cry. Thank you I worry so much that I'm damaging her or our bond or causing issues for her later in life.

@sunflowerandivy solidarity fistbump. Wish I had advice! Wishing you respite soon!

Mines actually come down with a stinking cold today so maybe that's why she was so crap the other night? Anyway, I'm going to bed now as her nose is blocked and I will be up most of night I know it!

@numberthirtytwowindsorgardens inknwo this was a long time ago now but I wondered if you remember how long this went on for and what helped? I have a be try similar baby and situation. Also 10 months. Thanks

Oh @Finnigan123 . Sending all sympathy and solidarity! To be honest, I'd forgotten this thread, and rereading it feels very strange. I don't remember the specific incidents I was writing about, though DD has always been a crap sleeper.

I'm afraid I don't have any wisdom. Nothing I did made any difference- I now believe that (some?) kids sleep when they're ready and there's nothing really you can do except be as gentle as possible with yourself and survive however you can. The screaming didn't damage our bond, she didn't learn to hate the cot forever, and now (she's a bonny two year old now) she usually sleeps through the night, though she's still a very early riser. So I think my only advice would be to try not to worry: the lack of sleep is hideous, but it won't last forever and it's not anything you're doing wrong. I so wish I could send you a magic bullet which would fix everything!

Courage!

Thank you @numberthirtytwowindsorgardens a day at a time! We all survive! But yes, I know why sleep is used as a torture technique now

@Finnigan123 we went through this a few months back when DS was the same age, it passed after a few weeks and went back to normal!

@Finnigan123 how are you getting on?

@Gigi00 we have had a great stretch. I would say the regression lasted 2 months in total. I think a large factor was that I have dropped her third nap and the wake windows were too big. She was over tired. Annoyed at myself for not working that out sooner. Coupled with illness and a general regression, it was hell. She has always been quite good at self settling, so it was a shock!

I was just researching a 12 month sleep regression, when I saw your message, as she has started to resist naps and become unsettled at nights slightly. It’s never ending. All in time for going back to work. Wahoo

Ohh bless you, it’s absolute torture isn’t it.

I’ve found nurofen helped with teething more then calpol, also Anbesol on their gums too.