Ferber method success stories

[user276]

How long did it take for your LO to settle? Cannot stand to hear baby crying! Makes me feel like an awful mum 😫

What age is your baby?
Is it controlled crying you are doing?

Hi OP, baby not sleep is tough. Depending on baby’s age, I found the Pampers website had good advice. We weren’t prepared to try any sort of controlled crying with our DC. We used the pick up, put down method when they were 15m, first night was awful, took hours but second night took 30mins and now apart from the odd night it’s done in 15-20mins or so.

www.pampers.co.uk/baby/sleep/article/baby-sleep-training

This was ten years ago but it took 3 days. DD was 11 months old and had never slept more than 90 mins, The first day was awful. The second and third progressively better. On day three she slept through the night.

Sorry, on day four she slept through!

Took 3 nights with our dd, maybe a little longer with ds (he was a bit more stubborn!) they were both about 9 to 10 months old.

They never had any sleep issues at all after that, except maybe at around the age of 3 when they both had a terrible phase of simply refusing to go to bed. But I think that's very common and we used a different set of rules for that.

Remember, you are not making them cry. You are doing them the great favour of reassuring them that it's safe to go to sleep alone and they are safe through the night and everything will be much brighter, fresher and more fun in the morning if everyone has slept properly. It is a very important life skill.

Yes and it was like magic. My Dd was about 12 months and waking up multiple times to feed. It took two nights. First night OH went in to soothe every time she woke up and by third night she was sleeping through.

It worked for my dd at 11 months after 3 nights. Absolute miracle!

We did at 6 months. 5 nights. Not sleeping through as still fed in night at this point. Found it does need to be repeated now and again, as we fell into habits or rocking to sleep etc. Best advice I read was once you have a bedtime routine and how you put lo down. Stick to it and stay consistent and do same as your partner and vice versa. 18 months old and she still has same bedtime routine and how we put her to sleep.

Thank you so much For your stories! They Have given me some hope. LO is 10.5 months and she has been cuddled/rocked to sleep and we have also been co sleeping, but would like her to sleep in the cot during the night and for day time naps!

Sorry another question, did you follow the Ferber method chart? I don't think I would be able to leave it 5 - 10 mins before check in

I did Cara babies but I think they’re similar. The first two days were dire. I felt sick. DS was hysterical. I sat outside the door in tears. To some extent pop ins made it worse for DS, it would set him off again. So I really listened for his transition cry. I almost stopped but I had started and didn’t want to have put us both through it for nothing. You have to want to do
it though, don’t do it because you think you should. There’s nothing wrong with leaving it, hoping they grow out of it and co sleeping etc. You do you.

I did ferber. Generally by time 10 mins came, it was more of on off whinge then a full on cry. That was us anyways. I never got to 10mins. It was no more then 7 mins for me. My oh got to 10mins a couple times.

My saving grace headphones!

I followed the Ferber method when DD was 8.5 months old, had always been fed to sleep and was waking every 90 mins. Followed the chart exactly. First night was brutal, second night was bad but better, third night was a brief cry and then she slept through the night. Never looked back! Good luck, try and keep at it if you have decided it's what you and your family need, even if it feels savage right now

If they are v hard to settle do ensure there’s no underlying issues. I didn’t use Ferber as was sure there something not ‘right’ with Dd is she seemed so very colicky all the time. Finally discovered at 14 months that she had an intolerance to cows milk. Once that was cut out of her diet we really turned a corner with sleep! (Prior to that that she never went more than an hour without waking and crying a lot)

My LO will be drowsy when I put her down but she will scream when put in cot, should I only leave once she's quiet and settled? X

For those of you who did Ferber and it helped, were your babies still taking large feeds overnight? Did you still feed when they woke or night wean at the same time?

Best to put lo in cot fully awake by all accounts. My lo never responded well to drowsy. I always thought it was because she thought she was going sleep in my arms and getting comfy then I put her in her cot. Shock to her as didn't know why she was being put down.

Do your usual bedtime routine but don't rock to sleep obviously. For example we do everything downstairs such as bottle getting ready for bed etc. Then upstairs. Her dad plays a tune on her snow globe. Pass her dummy. Pop pink noise on. I sing twinkle twinkle little star. After 30 seconds I drop her into lying in my arms. Then another 30 seconds pop into cot. Hand on bum and hand on back. 30 seconds of this then walk away.

My lo still took one feed early morning. Which I cut about 8 months i think it was. Ferber does have a formula/chart for feeds overnight. I don't know it though as I went with its one feed overnight I deal with it.

@user276, my interpretation was that some screaming on the first day was to be expected because they are going to protest whatever you do

If it doesn’t feel right to you for your baby op then don’t be afraid to change tack. I was recommended sleep training, couldn’t go through with it and then ended up continuing to feed to sleep and go in for every waking. As toddlers my dc slept brilliantly and they are still excellent sleepers now, so there are other ways.

I am kinda doing it now but haven't followed Ferber precisely. My LO is 6 months and has mostly slept in his cot but I was just experiencing too many night wake ups (don't feed at night so I couldn't understand why he woke so often really). It only took one night to see a dramatic difference. A few nights of sleeping through and now he's restless but I can settle him with my voice alone. I would say do your own version if you feel more comfortable. I didn't ever leave him more than two mins and one eve just stayed in the room but out of sight. Ferber might not be impressed with my approach but it was good enough to see a big difference. By night three, I was outside the door waiting for the cry, popped my head in 3 mins later and he fast asleep. He does use a comforter and again not sure what Dr Ferber would have to say!

Are you doing it for daytime naps too?

@user276 sometimes and not consistently. I find if my LO wakes from a nap after one sleep cycle and he needs to have another round - eg lunchtime which is the long one these days - he needs quite a lot of help and persuasion to get there. That might mean contact napping or rocking while in his cot. I do try and leave him to self settle (as in the final moments of falling asleep) but I know he wouldn't sleep if I just left him and the crying intensifies. It's like he's awake in those moments and needs to go back into a drowsy state. Again, I am sure the lack of consistency is not that helpful and I imagine the day time naps will also sort themselves out a bit once night time gets better.

Past couple of days have been tough to say the least... Baby will eventually fall asleep at nighttime but day time naps this method does not work for us! How do I tackle the day time naps? Help xx

@user276 Did you have much success with Ferber for night sleep and daytime naps in the end? X