6 months and still multiple wakings!

Gistbury · 2022-09-23T05:47:22+00:00

My DD was born in March and I exclusively breastfed her up until a few weeks ago. She has woken multiple times a night since she was born. At one point we go in a nice rhythm and she was sleeping for 4/5 hours and then waking every 2/3. Bug this went out the window at about 4 months and she seems to be waking Willy nilly! I switch to formula in the hope her sleep would improve but if anything it is worse. I am pleased to have switched though so that's not an issue. Her routine is: Wake at 6 2 hour independent nap at 9-11ish Broken cat naps between 2-4 due to school run (in and out of the car and pushchair) Half an hour to an hour 5-6 Bed at 8 I am feeding on demand. When she wakes in the night I try dummy first and if this fails bottle. I'm so desperate to settle her quickly that I just feed her. Sometimes it's two sucks and back to sleep! I'm cosleeping to try and make this less of a faff. I have 2 older darling sons who were formula fed and sleeping through v early, this has been a curve ball! I'm so delighted to have her here and she's the happiest little dream that I don't overly mind this poor sleeping but I've just woken up for the day and could cry at the mo, but I will forget about it all 10 mins and convince myself it's totally manageable. My question- if I were to really go for it and try and get her to sleep longer stretches what should I do? I'm heading in the direction of a really strong attempt and want to do it properly so if it fails I can just accept the multiple wakings as being out of my hands. Thanks lovely mumsnetters 😘

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JSDLS · 23/09/2022 06:50

I don’t have the advice your looking for as my little one didn’t sleep through until about 18 months and even now tends to wake up every so often. It was tough so you have my sympathy.

SuperSange · 23/09/2022 06:58

When mine was little I found that his routine changed without me changing anything, so if you can plough through it, it may change if it's own accord in a few weeks. It is totally shit though; I was a zombie when he was that age. X

Garman · 23/09/2022 07:04

It’s completely normal for a six month old to still wake a good few times to feed or otherwise. You say you feed on demand but then you say you give dummy first at night, night feeds shouldn’t be dropped until the baby is 1ish, they should be fed on demand at night too until then.

Overthebow · 23/09/2022 07:13

It’s normal at 6 months. Is she in her own room yet?

One thing that did stand out to me is the napping. That’s quite a lot and the last nap is late. She’s getting 2.5 hours a day plus small naps between 2 and 4pm too. With the last nap ending at 6pm she’s only getting 2 awake hours before bed. I’d shorten the morning nap to one hour, do a lunchtime nap and try to keep her awake for the first hour of school run. Let her nap 3-4pm then that’s it until bedtime time and put her down for bed at 7pm.

Original poster

Gistbury · 23/09/2022 07:21

Garman · 23/09/2022 07:04

It’s completely normal for a six month old to still wake a good few times to feed or otherwise. You say you feed on demand but then you say you give dummy first at night, night feeds shouldn’t be dropped until the baby is 1ish, they should be fed on demand at night too until then.

Yes I feed on demand but not every cry is a cry for a feed, so I pop her dummy in but she will spit it out if she's hungry.

OP posts:

Original poster

Gistbury · 23/09/2022 07:27

Overthebow · 23/09/2022 07:13

It’s normal at 6 months. Is she in her own room yet?

One thing that did stand out to me is the napping. That’s quite a lot and the last nap is late. She’s getting 2.5 hours a day plus small naps between 2 and 4pm too. With the last nap ending at 6pm she’s only getting 2 awake hours before bed. I’d shorten the morning nap to one hour, do a lunchtime nap and try to keep her awake for the first hour of school run. Let her nap 3-4pm then that’s it until bedtime time and put her down for bed at 7pm.

Thanks for this. The napping situation is not set because of school run/toddler groups etc but I do try and keep her having a good morning sleep as it gives me time with DS2 and also time to clean up the house 😬 I also think she really needs it as the rest of the day napping is so hit and miss. I think I will try and give her a longer wake window before bed though. Usually not home from school run until near 4 and it's so hard to get her to stay awake in car and pushchair. School run is a drive to the school, then a pushchair walk into the school once parked and the same again coming home so she's in and out. When we have a day with no disruptions she will just have two good sleeps a day and then early to bed. I have to be flexible because of two older boys schedules and pick ups. Will definitely aim for longer wake window (although that 5-6 nap really helps with dinner prep 🫣)

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stayinghometoday · 23/09/2022 13:45

My question- if I were to really go for it and try and get her to sleep longer stretches what should I do? I'm heading in the direction of a really strong attempt and want to do it properly so if it fails I can just accept the multiple wakings as being out of my hands.

If you succeed, write a book. Seriously, there's only so much you can do to try to get a child to sleep. In the end they are the ones that need to close their eyes and start sleeping. You can only create the ideal sleeping enviroment but that's it. You were just lucky with your first two.

My almost two year old still wakes at least once every night. It was 3-6 times until she was ten months, then it got gradually less until 16 months when she slept through one night (I thought she had died). She very occasionally sleeps through the night now, about once per month. I tried every trick and/or suggestion except cry it out or co-sleeping (due to medical equipment on my part). She's growing well, is such a happy child, I just figure she's bad at sleeping through and this (endless) phase will end one day.

So often people make it sound as if their children slept through due to their terrific parenting skills. It's not that, it's up to the child and you get what you get. One of my cousins knew exactly how to get a child to sleep through and told everyone arrogantly to just do what she did (her words, not mine), then she had her second who woke every hour, on the hour for the first couple of years.

So my advice is to try which ever sleeping advice sounds doable, try it out and if it works: great! If it doesn't: it's just what it is and they'll grow out of it.

understatedmate · 23/09/2022 13:46

It's totally normal and often harder if you've previously had two "good" sleepers!

Original poster

Gistbury · 23/09/2022 14:48

stayinghometoday · 23/09/2022 13:45

My question- if I were to really go for it and try and get her to sleep longer stretches what should I do? I'm heading in the direction of a really strong attempt and want to do it properly so if it fails I can just accept the multiple wakings as being out of my hands.

If you succeed, write a book. Seriously, there's only so much you can do to try to get a child to sleep. In the end they are the ones that need to close their eyes and start sleeping. You can only create the ideal sleeping enviroment but that's it. You were just lucky with your first two.

My almost two year old still wakes at least once every night. It was 3-6 times until she was ten months, then it got gradually less until 16 months when she slept through one night (I thought she had died). She very occasionally sleeps through the night now, about once per month. I tried every trick and/or suggestion except cry it out or co-sleeping (due to medical equipment on my part). She's growing well, is such a happy child, I just figure she's bad at sleeping through and this (endless) phase will end one day.

So often people make it sound as if their children slept through due to their terrific parenting skills. It's not that, it's up to the child and you get what you get. One of my cousins knew exactly how to get a child to sleep through and told everyone arrogantly to just do what she did (her words, not mine), then she had her second who woke every hour, on the hour for the first couple of years.

So my advice is to try which ever sleeping advice sounds doable, try it out and if it works: great! If it doesn't: it's just what it is and they'll grow out of it.

Thank you for this. I suspected as much hence not having tried anything up until this point. I feel
pretty good (except maybe when I first wake up and maybe patience
Dwindling towards end of the day) so can't complain really.

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jmap81 · 23/09/2022 21:52

I am no expert but have one baby of 6 months too and have done a lot of reading and experimenting. We are in a pretty good place but then I may be lucky. It went downhill at 4 months but we are just now back on track. It seems to me that you want your LO's sleep fo fit in with various other things - fair enough - but then it may not be their optimum sleep pattern. I agree with a PP that it's a lot of napping. I believe that the ideal scenario for the first nap is not more than 45 mins. I usually have to wake up my baby from this and feel terrible but having played around with it I now see that it enables my LO to have a longer lunchtime nap. This is the one that's most important as if lasts the longest. Ideally up fo 2 hours but this is impossible and I have fo help my Lo get back fo sleep after 45 mins or so by doing a contact nap. Last nap is 30 mins or so and I don't let it happen later than 4.45 ish so that he can be asleep by 7.30. It would require tweaking and I understand ifs hard.

Original poster

Gistbury · 24/09/2022 06:49

jmap81 · 23/09/2022 21:52

I am no expert but have one baby of 6 months too and have done a lot of reading and experimenting. We are in a pretty good place but then I may be lucky. It went downhill at 4 months but we are just now back on track. It seems to me that you want your LO's sleep fo fit in with various other things - fair enough - but then it may not be their optimum sleep pattern. I agree with a PP that it's a lot of napping. I believe that the ideal scenario for the first nap is not more than 45 mins. I usually have to wake up my baby from this and feel terrible but having played around with it I now see that it enables my LO to have a longer lunchtime nap. This is the one that's most important as if lasts the longest. Ideally up fo 2 hours but this is impossible and I have fo help my Lo get back fo sleep after 45 mins or so by doing a contact nap. Last nap is 30 mins or so and I don't let it happen later than 4.45 ish so that he can be asleep by 7.30. It would require tweaking and I understand ifs hard.

Thanks for this, I really appreciate you sharing what your little one does. Unfortunately I'm just going to have to go with the flow (and so is she) with daytime naps, suppose it's one of the niggles of being a third baby. I will take your advice in terms of the last nap though! Thank you!

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LapinR0se · 24/09/2022 07:25

Six months is a tricky time as there is the start of weaning and your baby will be most likely learning to sit.

if you are cosleeping now is a good time to try and get the baby into her own cot as she will soon start practising sitting and eventually crawling and pulling to stand, none of which is great in a shared bed.

it sounds like she has a feed or suck to sleep habit. You could try and gently break this. However it will not work if she is either hungry or overtired. And the only way to know that for sure is to have a basic routine in place.

At 6 months a nice routine is
7am wake and milk
8am porridge and fruit

9.15-10am nap

11.30am lunch

12pm small milk feed

12.30-2.30 nap

3pm milk feed

somewhere between 4-5pm very short catnap on the go (15-20 mins, always awake by 5pm)

5.30pm supper

6pm bath
6.30 milk

7pm bed, lights out, in a cosy sleeping bag with white noise.

naomisuissa · 24/09/2022 10:52

Gistbury · 24/09/2022 06:49

Thanks for this, I really appreciate you sharing what your little one does. Unfortunately I'm just going to have to go with the flow (and so is she) with daytime naps, suppose it's one of the niggles of being a third baby. I will take your advice in terms of the last nap though! Thank you!

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Just to say it is possible to fit routine in with school run if you want. Mine is 5 months and sleeps 9-9:45 (when back from school drop off), then 11:45/12-1:40pm and then 4pm -4:30 pm (after back from school pick up). Then bed at 7:30. Although like you, we are also in car and buggy from 3pm, he doesn't need to sleep then because he's has a proper lunch time nap.