Is this habit or something else?

[Firsttime89]

Hi

i have a 5month old baby boy. Long story so please bare with me. He had severe acid reflux (maximum dose medicated since week 5) and colic issues. Otherwise no serious medical issues.

He screamed majority of day unless being walked in baby sling or held to sleep for exactly 3 months and 9 days. I put this down to the cranial osteopath who treated him & since that time he is generally very content & happy during the day. Up until recently he would still only contact nap but as he has gotten bigger he can now nap upright in his pram or sometimes will stay asleep when put down in his cot.

since birth, his night time sees him needing a lot of resettling. These timings are totally sporadic, but usually at least once an hr, seem to increase in frequency beyond 2am when he can get up 2/3 times in an hr.
Initially I breastfed, then moved to pumping/upright bottle feeding at 10 weeks which also helped reflux issue but hasn’t totally resolved it. now he is combi fed about 50/50 ebm & formula.

when he stirs at night he doesn’t actually wake but he screams in his cot until he is picked up, popped on boob or given bottle. when I say scream, it is ear piercing & often he has tears.
He will only suck a few times before falling asleep again or if he refuses boob/bottle then a gentle walking & upright cuddling/back rubbing will resettle him.
When we let him cry as long as we can bare, this usually results in him actually fully wakening and then remaining awake & discontent for at least an hr. As a result we of course generally lift him when we can’t get him settled in his crib.

He has most beautiful skin & no nappy issues so don’t believe he has good allergies- I also went diary free for a period & reintroduced with no significant changes.

i keep going back to GP/HV as our gut feel is he is waking in discomfort & I asked for neonate formula as a trial but they keep telling me he has sadly developed this habit as he required so much comfort in the first 3 months and we need to break habit by slowly walking it back & accepting it could take a month or two of tough love to break it. But it’s soul destroying hearing his screams at night.

after 5months of this sleep deprivation & being woken 8-14 times per night our nerves are shot & I am currently being treated for severe pnd.

just wondering if anyone had similar experience or if you think our gut feel is right?

Thing is you know your lo. It's your gut, so dont want to say your wrong. Though on other hand sounds like lo relys on you to get back to sleep between their sleep cycles, so in some ways it's sounding like habit. There are many sleep training you can try. But most seem to start at 6 months so your lo is a little shy if that.

Have you tried a dummy instead of you BF/feeding.

From 3.5 months till 6 months when we sleep trained my lo woke every 1 to 2 hours. It was soul destroying. I hated life at that point. Sleep training didn't cure everyth

I don't know why it keeps posting too soon. Sleep training didn't solve everything and certainly helped but also to make transition easier lo was in their own room as well when we sleep trained.

Thanks for the reply Chittybang. Baba has taken dummy since about a week old so it’s a great help but he has started to refuse it in the night when he is sleeping.

im still torn between it being a habit & my gut that’s it’s something else is bothering him, but I am working on sleep training too. I have done all the things i read about in the past few weeks & seeing dividends as I have gotten him to put himself to sleep a few nights now in his cot after a bedtime routine that I am following religiously.

I know it will take a lot more hard work at this & I have been talking to a sleep training consultant who also agrees I already am doing a lot of the right things. I’ll probably engage her services fully soon to see if she can crack it.

im sitting here on the 13th wake up of the night hoping that in another few months we will have a different story 🤞 in the mean time it is beyond soul destroying 🥲

So I don’t think the issue is linking sleep cycles if he’s waking so frequently. One sleep cycle for a baby is about 45 minutes and if he has ever slept longer than that then he CAN link them some of the time, and waking more frequently would suggest he’s not even completing a full cycle.

I also don’t believe babies cry because of habit, all crying is communicating and should be listened to and responded to appropriately. I would push for a referral to paeds just to check for any issues. Babies that are responded to and supported when they call for you, which you have done, should generally develop a sense of security and trust and not need so much support eventually, but if he just keeps waking up and screaming I think that’s something that should be looked into.

I would also recommend checking out @ cosleepy on IG for safe tips on how to sleep with baby on your chest, which can be done at his age, so you can get some sleep too. And general info on normal infant sleep backed by science I recommend Hey Sleepy Baby (also on IG and has a website)