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Sleep training starts tonight - hand hold please!

10 replies

Regressionisreal · 20/09/2022 19:38

7 Month DS, exclusively bf, actually a decent sleeper once he’s down.. he even did his first sleep through the night the other night but he can’t self settle at the beginning of the night. He either needs to be swayed by Dad (works for all daytime naps) or fed to sleep by me (at night). I don’t know why he has one preference for day and one for night!

I can’t sway him anymore - he’s 98th centile and my back is wrecked, plus he just doesn’t seem to settle on my shoulder like he can with his dad. I always end up feeding, then have the ridiculous attempt to transfer to the cot without waking him, which doesn’t always work.

We also can’t keep relying on my DH for daytime naps. He works from home and can usually manage to help out with 1 or 2 (imm c lucky) but it’s not sustainable. He had a stag do coming up and I’m so scared DS just won’t nap for 2 days!

So weirdly we’re very reluctantly sleep training now just to get the self settling at the beginning of the night down. Despite what they say, he doesn’t seem to have an issue with stirring in the middle of the night and realising he’s no longer on Daddy’s shoulder / Mummy’s boob! He can often roll over and go back to sleep. Settling at the beginning of the night is just not a thing though.

We’re using Lucy Wolfe’s stay and support approach. We couldn’t do CIO and he really doesn’t deserve that when he’s actually a decent sleeper when he gets going.

Her approach says the dad should take the first night if baby is breast fed. So DH is taking one for the team tonight and I have to be downstairs trying not to listen to the shouting and trying not to cry! At least it’s “stay and support”. I know he’s fed, clean and knows his dad is there, right?

☹️

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Regressionisreal · 20/09/2022 20:19

😂😂 He’s asleep! Little tyke. Should’ve done this a month ago. 😂😂

OP posts:
ProperVexed · 20/09/2022 20:20

Swines, aren't they!

Greentomatoes21 · 20/09/2022 20:23

Yey! That's great! 😃😃😃

andyetanotherschoolyear · 20/09/2022 20:24

Yay. Well done.

ChittyBang1987 · 20/09/2022 20:44

Yay well done. Thats amazing 👏 it might be fluke but might not. My advice is headphones, if you get a few whinges and crying.

Regressionisreal · 20/09/2022 21:20

Yup could totally been a fluke.. hope not! We had managed to broadly get in place the feeding and nap suggestions that Lucy Wolfe recommends over the last few months, as well as the bedtime routine / positive sleep associations… we just weren’t trusting him to actually fall asleep on his own - seemed impossible.

DH put him down in his cot after a bath and he was calm for 5 minutes then he did a bit of indignant shouting but not crying. DH distracted him by opening and closing his hands above the cot, then swinging the comforter toy above his head. He chilled out staring at the hands / the toy, then grabbed the toy, rolled over and chomped on it a bit and then fell asleep. It took half an hour from going into the room. He’s been asleep just over an hour now.

I will absolutely not count my chickens and think we’ve nailed this forever, but this is a massive win for today!

OP posts:
Regressionisreal · 23/09/2022 10:49

Little update on this… DS self-settled 5 times for his dad over the first two days. Two bedtimes and three naps. The longest it took was half an hour and he never got upset - just some light grizzling.

It was my turn last night and there were hysterics. I’ve never seen him cry so much - some distraction techniques worked briefly but only briefly. Ended up picking him up and he conked out on me immediately, and normally he never falls asleep on me anymore unless he’s feeding. So maybe that’s a small bit of progress?!

Ever so slightly better this morning in that he was shouty but not hysterical. Picked him up when distraction techniques weren’t working anymore after 50 minutes. Tried putting him down again when he was calm but he screamed his head off. So I gave up.

On the upside, he has slept 10.5 hours for the last three nights and we’ve seen him on the monitor settling himself back to sleep after stirring.

So he can self settle in the middle of the night, and for his Dad, but why not for me? ☹️

OP posts:
ChittyBang1987 · 23/09/2022 12:14

May be cause lo can smell your milk? Also, hate to say it. It's mummy so I find Los give mum the crap. Could be some seperation anxiety in it.

Personally I would stick with what dad does no matter what. It could upset the progress. I found when me and my partner did it. We stuck to the same.

Greentomatoes21 · 24/09/2022 11:07

Agree with PP. Consistency is key. It's so hard to stay the course. But he has proved he can do it. The more practice you can give him, the better he'll get at it.

RadicalSoul · 05/09/2023 08:55

Hi @Regressionisreal ,

We’re embarking on this same journey very soon and I’m anticipating similar issues to you. If the little one wakes in the night while it’s my shift it takes me forever to resettle him if I don’t feed to sleep but with dad it’s 2 minutes and he’s fine…

How did it go for you after the initial days? Any top tips?

Thanks!
R

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