Tummy sleeping / Co sleeping

[questionnnn]

Hi,

I have a ten week old and a 19 month old.

My ten week old has reflux and silent reflux and will only sleep if held upright. Every sleep I try and place her on her back but she coughs and splutters on her sick and cries. She is on medication for her reflux which has helped the discomfort she initially had but she is still sick. She is sick as soon as you lay her down regardless of how long it had been since her feed. I do paced bottle feeding and everything else suggested to help her reflux naturally too.

I have been holding her during the day for naps and holding her and Co-sleeping reluctantly at night. When Co-sleeping i follow the guidelines but I don't sleep well most nights at all as I'm worried about rolling on her, even tho I don't appear to move a muscle!

She appears to sleep well on her tummy. I haven't let her for more than a supervised nap but I am now at the stage where I feel unwell through lack of sleep.

My toddler doesn't sleep through the night so my husband is up with him at night so sharing the babies night holdings etc is not an option. I can't sleep during the day as she still needs held and I have the toddler to watch too when he's not at nursery.

I have to drive to nursery, baby class and general errands. Soon I feel driving may be unsafe with my sleep deprivation as I have constant headaches. I am exhausted.

Now I know tummy sleeping increases risk of SIDS as does unsafe Cosleeping (my exhaustion making it probably unsafe). The anti reflux tilt on her cot does nothing to help, also it says not to use whilst sleeping, and when she had a supervised nap she did start to slowly slide down the cot.

So what do I do? Is tummy sleeping the lesser risk? Is there anything I haven't thought of? I hate asking this question as I want my baby to be the safest and ideally in her cot on her back .... but I am at a loss after ten weeks of trying everything and having only a couple hours sleep a night max.

Tummy sleeping is more risky than safe cosleeping.

My DC is now 6 but I had the same dilemma as you OP and you have my total sympathy. I did let him tummy sleep at around 12 weeks for the same reasons. He was quite a 'strong' baby and could lift his head rather than face plant so I felt fairly safe doing it.
It is higher risk for SIDS, so it is a very personal choice.

I did let him tummy sleep at around 12 weeks for the same reasons. He was quite a 'strong' baby and could lift his head rather than face plant so I felt fairly safe doing it.

Same, and also had reflux. He slept straight through the first time (done accidentally, I meant to go and turn him but fell asleep).

I myself have a 9 week old who has had terrible colic/reflux symptoms and I have tried everything from all the leg movements and trying to burp him for hours on end. Warm baths, massaging his tummy and back, Gripe water and infacol, gripe water did work for 2 days and then back to the way he was. He only would fall asleep on my chest and as soon as I would put him down in his Moses basket on his back he would cry and scream in pain pulling his legs up & again would settle and fall asleep on me (the pressure and warmth on there tummy is what helps)
Today I placed him in his Moses basket half asleep on his tummy & within minutes he was sleeping and has been now for nearly 3 hours, the longest in his basket since he was about 4/5 weeks old.
I have the angel care monitor and sensor that you put under their mattress and it detects their breathing it will go off after 10/15 seconds with no movements or breathing. I myself probably would never have done this if it wasn’t for my sister who had to do the same with her little boy (now 5)
Everything for babies have risks and a lot of things can cause SIDS, if you try it I would do it during the day when you are there and can keep an eye on her, also purchase the angel care monitor as it’ll help ease your mind a bit, co sleeping is a risk of SIDS as well and a lot of people do it, nurses and midwives tell you how to do it ‘safely’ while there is still a risk.
but like myself sleeping with them or having them on you is probably more of a risk than in his basket with the sensor on.
Everything is trial and error with a baby and whatever works best for you and baby I would go with. I plan to try get him on his back and night but if it goes without luck for a few days I will place him on his tummy.