'Don't let them cry it out' - but what about when I first put him down?

[tvisrubbish]

DD is 6 months old and whenever I put her firm to sleep she cries for 5 mins and then I go in and put the funny back in and then falls asleep.

This works without fail.

However I have been reading Kate Silverton's fantastic book 'no such thing as naughty' and she says you should never leave a crying baby.

Do you think that includes when they first go down for a nap?

I think you're doing just fine, leaving them to cry for 5 mins won't do harm. Keep going with what works for you mamma xx

Kate Silverton is just one mum, who flogs a book worked out what worked for her DC.

You have also worked out what works for yours, trust yourself.

That woman sounds a bit deluded to me. I hate any form of sleep training but it’s impossible to respond to every cry a baby makes. If you’ve got one baby you might be able to. I’ve got two and a toddler, so everyone has to queue. Aside from the obvious caveats, if a baby cries here then it has to wait it’s turn.

Your setup sounds ideal.

This is absolutely fine, if you said you were leaving the baby for 2 hours people might have something to say!

Sometimes my baby would get more agitated from being held and just wanted some space to lie down and kick her legs, have a bit of a cry to let it all out then fall asleep

It doesn’t sound fantastic, it sounds like bollocks that’s making a new mum worry when she’s no need to. Of course it’s okay for her to cry a bit when you put her down, you’re doing absolutely fine.

5 mins is fine. You're doing a good job.

Thanks all. Rereading this, my spelling was atrocious. I have a ne phone and the autocorrect is doing weird things for me.

I meant to say: Dummy not funny. First not firm.

Yeah I can relate to this. I’ve got the impression with all three of mine that being held is actually annoying them more 😅

Yep i have 3. 2 of them would cry when put down and then settled themselves within about 7 minutes usually. And have been amazing sleepers. Just seemed to be part of the going to sleep process. The 3rd one would cry and cry and needed more support / input.... it was different and leaving her didn't feel OK... so it's different for each kid

Isn’t/Wasn’t Kate Silverton a news reader? Since when is she an expert on child development?

It’s great that you have a quick and effective method to get baby to sleep so I’d continue doing it. Both of mine would whinge themselves off to sleep, it took minutes and then they slept through so I think it’s quite normal! Also, CIO would be just closing the door and not going back in until morning. Going back in after 5 minutes and replacing the dummy is definitely not CIO!

I agree with PP. It’s really normal for babies to have a cry before they sleep. There is a huge difference between them being a bit grumpy and grizzling before going off to sleep, and leaving them screaming. You have found what works for your baby and that’s great.

Never leave a crying baby?

Has she never had to take a shit? Answer the door? Drive a car? Have another child? Clearly not otherwise she wouldn't spout such nonsense.

I have the same problem -6 month old and cries every time I put him down (apart from morning nap). It really upsets me as I don't actually know why he's crying. Cries when he wakes up in the night too. I sit with him as he goes off fo sleep (ie don't leave him to cry) but I do try and keep him in his cot. Hand on chest, "ssshhh" and a muslin all of which helps. Any tips to stop the crying would be very welcome!

So the theory goes that babies cry because they want something. So do the standard list: hungry, need clean nappy, too hot, too cold, teeth bothering him. But also think about the other reasons small humans need something. Does he need a cuddle? Or some company? Those aren’t bad things to give if that’s what he needs. My twins are criers and often the only way I can get them to stop is to lay them belly down on my lap…. So that’s what I tend to resort to.

You know more about your baby that Kate Silverton does, no matter how good her book is.

My baby cries when I put her into her cot to sleep. Never for long, a couple of mins at most, but she does it every time and if I pick her up (as I used to do as I thought I couldn’t have her cry at all) it makes her worse! She doesn’t want picking up and rocking etc, it turns into proper screaming 😬 I’ve realised now she wants her own space when she’s ready to go to sleep and I think the crying is she wants to be asleep and is annoyed it’s not happening immediately or something.

Well I've never heard of Kate Silverton but I also didn't know that it was okay to leave a baby to cry for that long, similar to @WorryMcGee so I'm glad I read this.

I might try it and see if she settles better.

@Huelcup I have only one child and (until reading this!) the shit and the door would just have to wait if the baby was crying or I bring her to answer the door 😂 I live in London and don't have a car so driving hasn't been an issue yet.
Difference is I wouldn't be writing a book telling other people what to do!

Do you never feed during night wakes? It's pretty normal for a 6mo to still need to eat during the night.

With my 6mo I know a hand on the chest wouldn't be enough to comfort him during the night, he would need to eat or be rocked if he was upset.