Best time to get a sleep consultant

[louiseholder92]

I'm a FTM and I'm terrified I'm creating bad habits for my baby, feeding to sleep, only napping in the sling or taking contact naps. Baby is 8 weeks old.
She will not do drowsy but awake! And I'm so worried about her getting overtired I don't want to put her down in her crib during naps as her eyes ping open immediately so I keep her on me.
She used to nap well in her moses (up until about 5 weeks), we've always safely bedshared as she hates her snuzpod and as she feeds so frequently at night this was the only way I managed to get sleep.
Do I just need to ride the above out until the end of the first trimester or should I get some help to start getting her to sleep more independently?
When is the best time to get a sleep consultant?

She's only 8 weeks old! It's all totally normal have a look at Lyndsey Hookway on instagram.

Also, drowsy but awake isn't a thing for a lot of babies, so don't stress about that either. My DS is nearly 10mo and it definitely doesn't work for him still!

These are not bad habits!!!!!! Babies are biologically wired to want to be close to us and feeding to sleep is completely natural, there’s a reason breastmilk contains melatonin and releases oxytocin, it’s to help babies sleep!

The only reason we think of contact naps and feeding to sleep as “bad habits” is because society tells us they are. I wouldn’t be surprised if it stemmed from times or cultures where maternity leave is all but nonexistent and parents physically can’t be present when baby naps.

Whatever you do, do not do any sleep training that involves making your baby cry an cry without you. It causes huge cortisol increases that can damage their brains. There is a recent study which says it is NOT harmful and the media was all over it but if you look at the study it is not very robust and relied on mothers reporting back on what they did after their babies were older.

A book which helped me hugely with the baby stage was Three in a Bed which talks about the science behind safe bed sharing. Also look at the studies from Notre Dame University about safe co-sleeping.

You’ll get so much hate for asking this airship but I followed the blissful baby expert from 8 weeks and by 3 months she was sleeping 7-11, dream feed then sleeping until 4am, another feed then up at 8am.

I paid for support with Lisa at 5 months and she was sleeping 7-7am after a few days. Worry every penny as she still sleeps 7-7am with a two hour nap x

I followed the blissful baby expert from 8 weeks and by 3 months she was sleeping 7-11, dream feed then sleeping until 4am, another feed then up at 8am.

Mine started sleeping 6 hours around 7 weeks, then gradually longer and longer until he was doing 10pm-7am reliably and he did this without any routine or schedule, just on his own 🤷🏼‍♀️ I kinda think this is something some babies just do at that age, if you have a baby that will sleep you don’t have to train it, and if you don’t then no amount of scheduling or routine will help. A friend of mine has one of those, she’s tried loads of routines and the baby still doesn’t sleep more than 4-5 hours.

Thanks all, you have made me feel better about what we are doing now, my family are very into routines and not creating a rod for my own back or whatever that means so I'm constantly feeling like I'm doing something wrong

Just to add, he’s now hit the 4 month regression so all bets are off.

As a general rule I’ve seen people say not to sleep train until 4 months earliest, presumably because of the maturation of sleep cycles so anything you do before they are developmentally ready is time wasted. So newborn sleep is what it is, your baby is either a good little sleeper or very needy, and it just is what it is. Then around 4 months their sleep changes to resemble adult sleep and that’s when they become developmentally able to learn to fall asleep independently.

Thanks Ginnybee, so does that mean I can stop worrying about putting baby down drowsy but awake and can continue nursing to sleep etc?

I would definitely just go with the flow. Nurse to sleep, rock to sleep, cuddle, contact nap. Don't worry about it. Every baby is different and gets there in their own time, some need more help than others.
I fed my now 13 month old DD to sleep and throughout the night whenever she needed it, co-slept and contact napped. She's now sleeping through most nights and just got there on her own.
It's hard work and a lot of people will pressure you into thinking you must sleep train but you don't.
Also, drowsy but awake is rubbish for most babies.
As PP said check out Lyndsey Hookway on Instagram, also the following helped me just know I was doing the right thing:
Little nest sleep
Fox and the moon infant sleep
Hey sleepy baby
Second star to the right

@louiseholder92 yes! Stressful enough looking after an 8-week-old, don’t add sleep stress to it! At least wait for the sleep maturation around 4 months. Mine is 17 weeks and I still nurse to sleep and contact nap. It’s easier for everyone. If what you’re doing works there’s no need to change it just because someone tells you to. If feeding to sleep or contact naps no longer work for your lifestyle then you can start looking at making changes. But enjoy the cuddles as long as you are able to! In ten years I promise you won’t be thinking “oh I should have cleaned more!” 😊

Google a bit about carry mammals versus nest mammals and about how most human babies feel safe and secure being held while they sleep. Your baby comes from a long line of clever little babies who evolved protections against being left alone while asleep because thousands of years ago that would’ve been a dangerous thing to do.

Hi op, it will get easier. And then harder. And then easier. And then harder. Sleep is a rollercoaster. Enjoy the sleep when it is happening and remember everything is a phase. My experience is it always gets better with every nap drop and the longer you've been a parent the more perspective you have.

Your baby is a normal, human infant, behaving in the way he/she should be behaving.
I’m convinced that “put them down drowsy but awake” is utter bollocks pedalled by authors of parenting books.
I have 3 DCs. Coslept (still cosleep with the youngest), napped in the sling for much of their first year, were rarely put down at all for the first 3 months…and they aren’t broken. Do what works for you and your baby, not what book/websites/friends say. And definitely don’t shell out £££’s on a sleep consultant!!