A sleep pod has to be safer than falling asleep?

[Sleepygrumpyandnothappy]

DS is five weeks old and appears to be a Velcro baby. He’s currently sleeping on me in a sling after crying every time I ease him into the Moses basket. Nights have become very difficult. He rarely settles in his crib and I end up letting him sleep on me. The problem is I simply can’t stay awake like this all night. I keep waking up in bed still holding him. I was terrified the first time this happened and even though neither of us seem to move, it feels so unsafe.

DP is already doing a lot at night and we can’t share the full night with him on watch between all feeds - which are frequent and looooong.

He was born at a low birth weight so the Lullaby Trust says there is no such thing as safe co sleeping. I’ve come to hate the Lullaby Trust - DS hasn’t read their guidance and doesn’t understand that he needs to go into his crib if I’m tired. 😡

NCT and Mumsnet is very anti sleep pods, but that has to be safer than what we’re currently doing doesn’t it? Listening to podcasts or watching Netflix isn’t working to keep me awake and I can’t let him just scream and scream in a cot. The Purflo claims to be safe for overnight use, although I’m sure there’s a bit of BS in their evidence. It’s hideously expensive for a cushion but walking like a zombie to John Lewis and buying one asap does seem like my best solution. Do they really work though?

Babies have died sleeping in sleep pods, and some sleep pod/lounger products have been recalled because of it. I wouldn't risk it. Products that have not been tested and therefore do not meet regulations for overnight sleep have several risk factors for positional asphyxiation (accidental suffocation) which means if you let your baby nap in them you should be watching them, and if you're watching them then you're not sleeping anyway. You 100% should not be letting your baby sleep in a lounger and then going to sleep yourself.

The safest way to deal with a Velcro baby is to take shifts with other caregivers. Do you have a partner or a relative who may be able to support? It doesn't necessarily need to be overnight - if someone can hold the baby for a few hours in the day you can catch up on sleep then (easier said than done I know!).

Oh I feel your pain OP ☹️ my DS would not sleep unless he was on someone until he was about 1 year old. He did sleep in the pram with motion though.

My partner and I took shifts to have him sleep on us. I am lucky I know as my partner was working full time too.

At a year I couldn't take anymore and paid for the Little Ones programme for his age. It changed my life honestly. A set routine and advice about sleep ambiance is what worked for us. Obviously my DS was a lot older though than yours is at this point.

My DS likes noise. So what we used in the end that helped him sleep was:

• A White Noise Machine
• A red light. Something about the red calms them down apparently.
• Dark Room (apart from the red light obv). No light coming in the windows. Blackout blinds and curtains for us.
• A set night time routine. Like a bath, bf or bottle, change nappy, quick cuddle and put them down in the crib.
• A little bit of crying is to be expected, don't stress over it. Obv if it's a distressed cry I would see to him.

I did have a Pureflo (given to me by my sister) and I used it but not over night. I was too terrified something would happen to be honest.

Also rule out any medical issues like tongue tie or reflux etc. DS had it and it affected his sleep.

Oh and a sleeping bag. I wasn't keen on swaddling.

I’m sorry OP, that sounds tough.

Why can’t DP split the nights with you? Even if you’re breastfeeding he can help you do it so that you can at least doze (My DH ended up quite adapt at putting DS on my boob without waking me!). Both of you need some ‘off duty’ time so that you can sleep.

@Countingdowntodecember we are splitting them. I express so he can give DS a bottle and I get about 3.5-4 hours sleep to kick off the night. But it’s not enough to stop me drifting off when DS is demanding a cuddle to sleep on top of a marathon feed at 3am . I’m sure there are people out there that manage to keep themselves up and catch up during the day but I haven’t cracked it yet. It’s a lottery how long DS will nap for in one go during the day.

Mine slept in our arms for 5 weeks as he would not be put down, my husband and I stayed up in shifts. Then I bought a purflo and my life was changed! I had it on the bed next to me for a couple of weeks and then moved it in his cot. He started with short stretches in it which was amazing given he wouldn’t sleep at all before, I even tried cosleeping which didn’t work. Then by about 8 weeks he was giving me 6 hours, then 7, eventually reliably sleeping 8-9 hours! He’s now 16 weeks and still sleeps in it, (but has now hit the regression.)

Last night he managed two hours in the snuzpod, with swaddling, white noise and holding/stroking, which meant I got some sleep when he was fully under.

I then used my phone alarm to stop falling asleep on the next feed, but he wouldn’t go back in his crib after, so we co slept in the C position. All in this takes me to a level I can function on.

I am going to buy a purflo though, it does seem to go through more rigorous safety testing than the others.

Swaddling and a pod are the only things that have worked for me, baby has to fall asleep in my arms though, he can't fall asleep by himself in his basket. I hope you manage to crack this soon, I'm here for solidarity instead of offering advice unfortunately!! 👊🏻 we got this!

We had the purflo overnight sleep one. It’s tested to the same standards as a Moses basket from memory when I researched it so we were happy to use it. It has a firm base as well as solid, breathable sides.

Also these swaddle suits were an absolute game changer - lovetodream.co.uk/products/swaddle-up-starter-pack-original-1-0-tog-white-blue.html

The newborn one is from 5lbs.

Sleepyhead worked really well for my un-put-down-able baby. She wouldn’t co sleep, would only sleep on me. (Turned out she was a tummy sleeper.) Yes, it’s riskier than an empty, flat cot, but I felt a lot less risky than her falling asleep in my arms. It’s a balance of risks. And falling asleep holding baby is unsafe. I would get the sleepyhead if you think it’ll help. Best of luck OP.

Thanks for this, have literally woken up having drifted off again with her on my chest, found husband asleep on his shift earlier doing the same....have just ordered the Purflo which says it is now approved for overnight unsupervised sleeping, has to be a better option if it works for us than our current situation, it is impossible to stay awake the whole time overnight even when sleeping during the day.....really hope she will sleep in that

I used makeshift 'sleep-pod' out of rolled up towel. It worked.

I put ds in his bouncy chair in his cot, it was the only way we got some sleep until he was about 8 weeks, then we co slept until he was 3 months. We used a firm foam pillow lengthways between our pillows so he couldn't get covered in the duvet.

I could have written this OP!

I’m not in UK so it’s a very different culture here where co sleeping is seen as fine (and there’s a surprising low sids rate). But I was so worried about risks, that I couldn’t do it myself. But baby was a terrible sleeper and I was at my wits end.

The only thing that worked for us was the Purflo placed inside the Snuzpod which was next to my side of the bed. Then a white noise gadget set on the waves setting. This was all overseen and approved by our UK sleep consultant until baby started rolling. We also used a Love to Dream swaddles that lets them keep their arms up, game changer for a baby that struggled against the swaddle.

My DS was exactly like this til he was 10 weeks… the nights were long, trying to stay awake with him asleep on my chest. Totally hear you re the Lullaby Trust… our babies don’t get the memo! There’s an account on Instagram called Cosleepy which has really practical advice on co-sleeping, including advice if the only way your baby will sleep is on your chest. I discovered the account recently, I wish I’d seen it when DS was in the 4th trimester.

With hindsight I also wish we’d tried a sleep pod.

Actually the midwives used this technique when I was in hospital with my DS when he was a few days old.