A sleep pod has to be safer than falling asleep?

[Sleepygrumpyandnothappy]

DS is five weeks old and appears to be a Velcro baby. He’s currently sleeping on me in a sling after crying every time I ease him into the Moses basket. Nights have become very difficult. He rarely settles in his crib and I end up letting him sleep on me. The problem is I simply can’t stay awake like this all night. I keep waking up in bed still holding him. I was terrified the first time this happened and even though neither of us seem to move, it feels so unsafe.

DP is already doing a lot at night and we can’t share the full night with him on watch between all feeds - which are frequent and looooong.

He was born at a low birth weight so the Lullaby Trust says there is no such thing as safe co sleeping. I’ve come to hate the Lullaby Trust - DS hasn’t read their guidance and doesn’t understand that he needs to go into his crib if I’m tired. 😡

NCT and Mumsnet is very anti sleep pods, but that has to be safer than what we’re currently doing doesn’t it? Listening to podcasts or watching Netflix isn’t working to keep me awake and I can’t let him just scream and scream in a cot. The Purflo claims to be safe for overnight use, although I’m sure there’s a bit of BS in their evidence. It’s hideously expensive for a cushion but walking like a zombie to John Lewis and buying one asap does seem like my best solution. Do they really work though?

I used to have the crib right next to my bed, on the floor, and sleep kind of hanging off the side of my bed with my hand firmly rocking baby!! Not ideal I know, but it did work

Those early weeks are so tough - it gets better I promise! What's your plan with the sleep pod? To put in the bed with you?
I had a sleepyhead one for my son, he was very similar to what you are describing, I too would wake up and find myself still holding him. I wouldn't say it really worked as such but I put it in the next to me crib. He would always end up in with me anyway as I would lift him into bed to feed him lay on my side and we would both fall asleep like that. The Mumsnet brigade will be out with their pitchforks but co sleeping worked for me and it was the best way we could all get some actual sleep. You absolutely can safely co sleep and many cultures do it.

Look at safe co sleeping, particularly if you’re breastfeeding. It’s much safer than the sleep pods or him sleeping on you.

I'd also recommend safe cosleeping. The lullaby Trust guidelines work on the elimination of as much risk as possible, understandably, but sleep deprivation is another kind of risk. Follow all the usual guidance (firm mattress, no pillows or coverings nearby, close to you, no alcohol for anyone in the sleep space etc) and make it as safe as possible for you.

I have and all the safe sleeping advice has the caveat that it doesn’t apply for a low birthweight baby, which DS is.

I’ve tried this and it doesn’t seem to fool him.

We had a purflo baby bed pod that was safe for night time use. It's definitely safe because it's totally breathable and the base is firm. It didn't work though, made no difference. However, it did work for my sister in law.
Tommee Tippee swaddlebag / ergo cocoon swaddle were amazing and using that along with the tommee Tippee pink noise dream maker was only thing that settled out baby

What kind of crib do you have? Is it next to you?
I slept with a hand in the crib 😆
Also My son loved Ewan the dream sheep, really works for some babies.

@maplee my plan was to put it in the next to me. The reviews have made me optimistic that the size and cushioning will make him feel sufficiently cocooned. But maybe you’re right and it still won’t work.

Have you tried a swaddle?

@Aworldofmyown it’s a Snuzpod. A couple of times DS has been fooled by a hand on his chest and one stroking his head, but not often.

We have a Tommee Tippee white noise machine and it does help.

I feel like I’m wishing his life away but if I could jump forward out of the fourth trimester I would 😢

Yes, it works if he’s very chilled going into it, but otherwise he’s too active and wiggles his way out.

I feel you, OP. My son was exactly like this and it was so tough. We, too, ended up sleeping with him on us some night when we fell asleep too and I'd wake up in such a panic.

Once he had some head control, we found that he preferred to sleep on his tummy (the same as he was when sleeping on us). I know that's not advisable but it was the only way he'd settle.

Until then, we did try the sleep nest a couple of times, and I slept as closely as possibly to his Next2Me. I also filled a latex glove with some rice to place on him to try and fool him into thinking my hand was on him.

I can't really offer any solid advice because nothing had lasting success as we eventually co-slept with him but it was really tough.

Try swaddle and sleepyhead, he will still be next to you so I think it's quite safe. You could try rolling a towel up and place under the sheet to make a sleepyhead effect. The midwives did that in hospital with my first. How much does he weigh now?
I don't believe there have been any deaths linked to sleepyheads so I'd say what you're doing now is more dangerous (but you know that)
Please remember that this will pass, sending you hugs x

@Sleepyquest he’s just over 5lbs now so still pretty teeny. The nurses did the rolled up towel sheet with him too, but above the sheet. Although he was so sleepy at first he would have been happy anywhere.

We had the snuzpod and our baby hated it until we added an extra mattress under the one provided with it. The mattress is quite thin and you can feel the slats if you press which I think was the problem. When I googled it other parents had found the same. We got an additional cheap mattress off Amazon.

We also swaddled which helped a lot- you really do have to do it firmly, we used the swaddle blankets as easier for us to get tight rather than those Velcro sack ones.

We also then got a sleepyhead when she couldn’t be swaddled anymore (rolling) and it worked like a charm as she was bigger then. At 5lbs it might not cocoon him enough, he’ll probably still have space

Put him in a swaddle bag - they can't get out!

A Sleepyhead worked wonders for my first (before the guidelines changed), but DS2 who is currently 4 months isn't bothered by it and doesn't seem to sleep any better in it than on the bare cot mattress.

I really recommend swaddling instead. It's been a complete game changer for both of mine, as it makes the transfer to the cot SO much easier if their startle reflex doesn't kick in. If baby bursts out of a muslin swaddle, try one of the swaddle sleeping bags with a zip down the front, or Miracle Blankets which are a bit harder to use but are basically impossible to get out of. These are cheaper than a sleepyhead anyway, so you may as well try it first.

What I do is feed baby until really sleepy and full, swaddle him, pick him up again and hold/rock til asleep and then put down. DS1 was 6 weeks old when I first did this with him using a Miracle Blanket and I remember he slept for about 3 hours in his moses basket. DH and I looked at each other and went, wow, we've found the off button.

Sleepygrumpyandnothappy
I think most parents wish the time away- especially with the first. You'll find what works and it definitely gets easier.

I used a hammock (an amby) with my third who was like this. It means they are slightly upright which helped . This was years ago so I have no idea Whether they are seen as a no no now, but my god it was brilliant for us.

Have you tried a Moses basket with a hood? My second settled really well in a Moses basket that had the hood up so it was like a cosy cave! She slept in it until she was nearly 6 months. They're safe for day and night sleep. To transition her out of it, i initially placed it in her cot and then put the hood down and then eventually just took it out and she settled into the cot just fine. Also, my first slept with a sleepyhead from day one - I didn't know the guidance was against them and I'm glad really because he slept really well in it!

I have a snuzpod crib and use a sleepyhead in that for overnight sleep… the Snuzpod itself is quite big/wide without the sleepyhead inside so baby doesn’t like it

I didn’t get a sleep pod because of all the scary advice. A lot of my NCT friends had one and their babies slept a lot more than mine.

When DS was a few months old we visited family and used a sleep pod in the travel cot… He slept for hours.

anecdata means nothing, but it’s the first thing I’d get if I had another newborn.

I would buy one.

I didn’t for Ds as was worried about reviews. He hardly slept the first 18 months. I was so tired around 9 months I almost crashed the car falling asleep with him in the car also. Which was far more dangerous.