How do I stop rocking my 6 month old to sleep?

AriasMummy · 2022-08-30T08:52:57+00:00

As the title says really, we've always rocked her to sleep. It's the only way she'll dose off except for in the car or in the pram, she relies on the motion. She's down to 1 wake up in the night for a feed so it's not too bad but after the feed we'll have to rock her back off and sometimes it takes an hour and a few attempts because she wakes up and cries everytime you stop moving or try and lay her down. I've tried to break the habit a few times but if I put her in her cot awake she just rolls on to her front and plays until she gets over tired and hysterical, shushing and patting and stroking her head does nothing it just seems to stress her out more. She doesn't take a dummy shes always spat them out and opted to suck on her fingers instead. I'm just at a bit of a loss really I want to reach her how to sleep independently but I can't stand hearing her get hysterically upset.

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ReeseWitherfork · 30/08/2022 11:26

I learnt about something called ‘habit stacking’ on Lyndsey Hookaway’s IG. Basically if they rely on a “habit” to sleep, add another habit and gradually take away the first. So maybe you could play a piece of music or play a light projector or something while you rock her… and then gradually take the rocking away.

I did it with my eldest, used to sing him “10 little ducks” in a very slow calming tone while I fed him to sleep, which then moved to swaying, and then moved to stroking. He’s 3 now and I’ll sing it sat next to his bed at bedtime while he drifts off, or at least gets calm enough to drift off himself. Works a treat.

Good luck OP!

Original poster

AriasMummy · 30/08/2022 16:07

Thank you I've just followed her on Instagram. I'll try that and see if it helps

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LGBirmingham · 30/08/2022 20:54

Have you thought about rocking her in her cot? Thus eliminating the put down? Could you put a thin book under one of the legs so you could rock it? You could take it away once she is asleep. I never did it because mine fed to sleep but my mum told me she did that sometimes.

I stopped feeding to sleep in very small stages over a long period. You could do the same? I think it really makes your life easier if they fall asleep where they are going to stay so you don't have to transfer, particularly in the middle of the night. I got ds on a floor bed shortly after 6 months for this reason.

Maybe rock in arms til calm, place in cot and rock til asleep, obviously picking back up if very distressed and trying again. Then place straight in cot and rock til asleep. Then rock in cot til drowsy etc...

Or alternatively you could get baby used to being cuddled to sleep without motion through some small gradual changes with the aim of eventually cuddling up together on a floor bed and you rolling away.

I agree with the above poster that it will help if you have something you sing each time too. You could start doing that before you make any changes.

Oblomov22 · 30/08/2022 21:09

Why is she awake when you put her down. She should be ready for sleep, dozy, but not too much. You lay her down , soothe her, Thebes you leave. she self settles.
When she wakes up, you feed her, she's fuzzy ready to go back to sleep, you place her, soothe her for a minute, then leave.

DSGR · 30/08/2022 21:11

Just rock her to sleep, it makes her feel safe and she’s still little. I either fed mine to sleep or rocked them til they were 12-16 months. Then I laid with them til they nodded off, then I managed to read them a story and they nodded off on their own. It’s a process… she’s tiny at the moment. Don’t leave her to cry, just take the path that works right now and don’t worry about it! She will sleep through the night and be 5 before you know it

Original poster

AriasMummy · 31/08/2022 08:57

LGBirmingham · 30/08/2022 20:54

Have you thought about rocking her in her cot? Thus eliminating the put down? Could you put a thin book under one of the legs so you could rock it? You could take it away once she is asleep. I never did it because mine fed to sleep but my mum told me she did that sometimes.

I stopped feeding to sleep in very small stages over a long period. You could do the same? I think it really makes your life easier if they fall asleep where they are going to stay so you don't have to transfer, particularly in the middle of the night. I got ds on a floor bed shortly after 6 months for this reason.

Maybe rock in arms til calm, place in cot and rock til asleep, obviously picking back up if very distressed and trying again. Then place straight in cot and rock til asleep. Then rock in cot til drowsy etc...

Or alternatively you could get baby used to being cuddled to sleep without motion through some small gradual changes with the aim of eventually cuddling up together on a floor bed and you rolling away.

I agree with the above poster that it will help if you have something you sing each time too. You could start doing that before you make any changes.

I worked in a nursery before I went on mat leave and used to settle babies to sleep in there cot daily by rocking with one hand and stroking there head with the other, sadly doesn't work at all with my own :(

I probably should've mentioned it's more of a bouncing motion than rocking, I have to sit on the edge of the bed and bounce up and down on the mattress. She still fights it until the last minute even with me doing that she's squirming and trying to cry while her eyes are rolling. Then even when she seems 'asleep' if I stop doing it her legs will tense up and she'll kick and start crying again...

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Original poster

AriasMummy · 31/08/2022 08:59

Oblomov22 · 30/08/2022 21:09

Why is she awake when you put her down. She should be ready for sleep, dozy, but not too much. You lay her down , soothe her, Thebes you leave. she self settles.
When she wakes up, you feed her, she's fuzzy ready to go back to sleep, you place her, soothe her for a minute, then leave.

She's awake but showing all her tired cues when I put her down but soon as she's down she just rolls straight over and lifts her head. I'll repeatedly roll her back and shush and stroke her and rub her back to try and settle her but she doesn't settle she just gets worked up

OP posts:

Original poster

AriasMummy · 31/08/2022 09:00

DSGR · 30/08/2022 21:11

Just rock her to sleep, it makes her feel safe and she’s still little. I either fed mine to sleep or rocked them til they were 12-16 months. Then I laid with them til they nodded off, then I managed to read them a story and they nodded off on their own. It’s a process… she’s tiny at the moment. Don’t leave her to cry, just take the path that works right now and don’t worry about it! She will sleep through the night and be 5 before you know it

This is the conclusion I keep coming to but everything you read says self settling is key to sleeping through the night and she'll never sleep through without being rocked if I keep doing it :(

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ChobKnees · 31/08/2022 09:14

I've done the cry it out method and it's worked an absolute dream. I thought DC would be crying for hours on end as we've always rocked them to sleep. However the longest time (the first time) took 30mins ever since it's taken just 10mins or under and they no longer scream during that time. It takes a week for it to work with naps and 3-4days for bedtime.

It's not for everyone but it's the quickest method and it's worked a dream for my very clingy baby.

RhubarbFairy · 31/08/2022 09:18

AriasMummy · 31/08/2022 09:00

This is the conclusion I keep coming to but everything you read says self settling is key to sleeping through the night and she'll never sleep through without being rocked if I keep doing it :(

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Just do what works for you now. It won't be forever. Put the books/websites down and follow your gut.

DS1 settled independently easily. I gave him a 'Taggie' when he was tiny and slept on me in the sling (mostly so his cheek wouldn't stick to my chest) and he quickly associated that with sleep (habit building as mentioned above). He slept through from only a few months.

HOWEVER - and this is where my follow your gut and your child's lead advice above comes in.

DS2 was a whole different ballgame. Would not settle unless he was held. 24 hours a day. We went with it. Slings in the day, kept him downstairs asleep on our chests until we went to bed, and co-slept, with his cot up against ours so I could put him there for space once he was deeply asleep, but he'd inevitably make his own way over in the night.

He would wake once for a feed (BF) until he was just over a year. Then one night he didn't. And that was that.

Mine are 11 and 9 now. Both solid sleepers, both settle just fine.

It's not forever, though I know it feels like it right now. Get a sling for those daytime naps so you can get on with your day, and enjoy the bedtime snuggles at night.

ReeseWitherfork · 31/08/2022 15:02

AriasMummy · 31/08/2022 09:00

This is the conclusion I keep coming to but everything you read says self settling is key to sleeping through the night and she'll never sleep through without being rocked if I keep doing it :(

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Oh sorry my habit stacking advice assumed you wanted to change… if rocking is working for you and it’s just a panic about the long term then my advice completely changes 😅 do whatever works for you for as long as it works for you! I fed DS to sleep every time he woke overnight until he just stopped waking every night. No intervention, no changes, just riding it out until he was developmentally ready to sleep through. And I fed him to sleep for every nap that I had with him, he still managed to sleep at childcare, and at 3 he now takes himself off for a nap. I literally pull the blanket over him, kiss him, shut the doors and see him two hours later. So he must be self settling 😂

HarleyandDaisysmum · 26/11/2022 10:40

Hey, I really hope you get this message through as it’s been 3 months or so now. I’m not sure how to private message but could you message me? I’m in EXACTLY the same boat and would love to hear how you’re getting on now. This is the first time I’ve ever been able to find a post that relates exactly to my life so would love to chat! X

glouisei · 23/05/2024 23:11

hi, I know this was posted a while ago but I’m in the exact same boat here, like EXACT. My LG is 6 and a half months and I’m starting to dread bedtime because it takes so long to get her down. She has to be rocked (or rather, bounced), and sang to. It was fine we just got on with it but the past few days she’s been fighting it SO hard. And waking and instantly crying when we transfer her ( she doesn’t usually she’ll stir a bit, roll and nod back off). I’ve tried putting her in her cot when she’s at the end of her wake window and showing sleepy cues but she just gets frustrated. She’ll roll onto her front and then cry cause she can’t roll back, whinge and work herself up and nothing except picking her up soothes her. Just need some reassurance that things will get better and how to get her to fall asleep on her own 😭

VioletMoonGirl · 23/05/2024 23:48

AriasMummy · 31/08/2022 09:00

This is the conclusion I keep coming to but everything you read says self settling is key to sleeping through the night and she'll never sleep through without being rocked if I keep doing it :(

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Sleeping through is developmental. It’s not something that can be learned. A baby that’s learned not to cry isn’t a baby that’s sleeping through necessarily, they just aren’t waking you up when they wake up in middle of the night.
6 months is so young to expect such an advanced skill. As for the rolling over etc. it’s because they are practicing a new skill. It’s almost a compulsion. It does stop when they master it or start working on other skills, but then they will be cot crawling in a few months, then standing up and cot cruising after that.
What I’m saying is baby sleep isn’t linear. There are good patches and bad patches, but none of it is forever. You just have to get through it however works for you and baby.