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16 month old still feeds to sleep...

7 replies

wishinguponrainbows · 27/08/2022 14:03

As the title says. I still feed my 16 month old to sleep for naps, bedtime and any wake ups. Not planned, I didn't feed to sleep from newborn but it's just sort of ended up this way and I’m not mad at it either. It's the quickest way to get her to sleep, it maximises the amount of sleep, she doesn't wake up at an ungodly hour in the morning and I love our closeness.

That being said, she'll wake continuously through the night. We're talking every hour, 2 if I’m lucky. Has a little feed and off to sleep she goes again. I think mostly it's not a feed at all, just comfort sucking. Hell on Earth ensues if I don't there quick enough if I'm still downstairs in the evening or suggest something else like a cuddle/pat/shush or heaven forbid Dad tries to settle!

Yeah it's annoying and yeah I'd love an evening out or a couple of hours to myself however as I say, it currently works for us.

Here's the BUT. I really worry that she's not getting quality sleep and that I’m not teaching her skills to fall to sleep independently. The unsolicited comments from family and friends don't help either - "she's STILL breastfed?!" ... "she STILL doesn't sleep through?!" ... "she's woken up AGAIN?!"

Is it really the big problem that people are making me believe? Am I committing a huge parenting faux pas?! I’m feeling like a pretty sh*tty Mum at the moment. It's as if I've let her down in some way because I haven't taught her how to get herself to sleep.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Belatedeyebrows · 27/08/2022 14:07

Firstly, solidarity sister! My ds is now 22 months and we have just dropped the night feed.
He still feeds to sleep but now sleeps through.
It's not what I had planned at all but I'm just going with it. It was worse went I went back to work when he was 10 months and got mastitis 4 times as he was still feeding frequently.
I'm OK with it now. I know it won't be forever. If you're happy with it, who's business is it anyway?

grosgirl · 27/08/2022 14:12

It won’t be forever! DS had always fed to sleep but gradually dropped all other feeds and the middle of the night feeds. Kept the bedtime feed until 3yrs 3months.

My family were very supportive of this and all big breastfeeding advocates but obviously not everyone I came across thought this was okay. I just developed a thick skin and made it clear to those people that I didn’t care about their opinions. You do what’s best for you and your DD! I got to the stage where I’d completely had enough and then we stopped.

jollymollygoesdancing · 27/08/2022 14:22

Just wanted to comment as i am the exact same with my 15 month girl. Its tough sometimes but I love it and wouldn’t change it. I envy others that are able to leave their babies thinking that I am doing something wrong. Believe me I have searched the entire internet and not really found support for how we do things… it’s just not really talked about? They say it’s fine for newborns but don’t offer advice on how to phase it out after the 4th trimester other than crying involved.

I don’t have advice but I honestly just keep hoping that she will grow out of it when she is ready… whenever that will be. I think myself lucky that my life allows me to work round it and be there for her all the time. I have the same worries as you regarding not ‘teaching’ her how to sleep. But really like I said, im trying to remain positive that she will do this when ready. I will worry about it if she is 16 and still nursing to sleep 😂 I can’t bear crying and I won’t put her through that. But as for family members, don’t let them get in your head. Everyone parents differently.

Ebonyhorse · 27/08/2022 14:24

Are you back at work? How are you functioning?!

Imogensmumma · 27/08/2022 14:28

I don’t think there is anything wrong with feeding to sleep as it works for you. However, from your OP it is the comfort feeding every hour that doesn’t work for you as your DH can’t settle and you have to be there not able to have down time or your own space and time . Even just time with DH

So maybe you need to look into the comfort feeding so she and you can get some proper sleep

ChittyBang1987 · 27/08/2022 15:28

If your happy to do it. Then do it. If your not, then there's plenty of advice on how to change it.

Your a great mum ❤️ everyone does it all differently, its what suits you and lo. If your happy with that then that's what you do.

Geo1996 · 30/08/2022 07:19

My baby is the same. He is 7 months and he wakes 10-15 times per night for his bottle. He’s defiantly not hungry as when I feed him he will only drink 1oz etc but if he wakes up without the bottle in his mouth all he’ll breaks loose until it’s back in. He’s using it like a dummy. I’ve tried to put dummy in but he knows it’s not the bottle! He’s drinking 16oz from 6-6 which doesn’t sound too bad but he’s not drinking some then sleeping for a solid few hours he’s waking constantly! Any advice?!

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