9 month old just won’t sleep through the night.

[NovRainbow5]

I’m desperate.

My 9 month old won’t sleep through the night she used to but we had covid in July & she was poorly so started to wake. Then the following week we had a S&D bug so she was up through the night too. Since then she hasn’t slept through. Sometimes she’ll wake once or twice then other times like tonight five times. We’ve tried more naps, less naps in the day. She’s not hungry, too hot or too cold. We used white noise & have got a good bedtime routine. I put dummy’s in her cot too incase she wakes up. When she wakes either myself or my husband go in to her & rock her back to sleep. Please don’t suggest sleep training. Believe me I’ve tried and it doesn’t work for us. She screamed & screamed and I couldn’t do it to her. Sometimes she’ll go to sleep when we put her down awake. Most times she wont. She usual routine in the day is as follows:

nap for half an hour to 45mins 3 hours after waking
awake for 3.5hours
nap for an hour & half

bed at 6:30

sometimes she’ll have an extra half an hour in the morning if she wakes at 5am.

im not bothered about the early mornings I just don’t understand why she won’t sleep through the night anymore. Tonight she’s woken at 8pm, 9pm, 10pm, 1pm, 4am. I can’t go on like this. I go back to work in September & my poor husband is struggling with work on such little sleep too. She sleeps (or doesn’t sleep) in a cot in her own room

I have a 9 month old, and it is so tough.

I highly HIGHLY reccomend reading up about possums sleep approach and joining The Beyond Sleep Training Project on FB. Since following possums my gals sleep has gotten significantly better. There is a whole Reddit subreddit about possums sleep where people have explained it much better than I ever could.

Mine still doesn't sleep through the night, but remember our little ones are only 9 months old, they are physically not meant to sleep through the night until they are ready (as infuriating as it can be) they are so little and so much is happening in their little brain!

Hope you are okay, just know when you are up getting them back to sleep for millionth time in a night, me and a bunch of other parents are right there with you.

Is she going to sleep in her cot? Is she capable of falling back to sleep? . If no those are the things you need to work on . Basically teach her to go to sleep. If yes then I would limit contact in the night, go in try not to pick up. Sort blankets maybe out hand on chest and leave. U need these wake ups to be as uninteresting as possible so if she does wake she may just settle herself to sleep.

At 9mo my boy was still waking once or twice through the night.
Agree with previous poster, they need to get themselves back to sleep independently. You can do this gently by gradually cutting down the level of contact you have. Get to just rubbing their back in the cot then lying on the floor next to them shushing.
Good luck x

They will wake in the night at that age. In fact, they will wake in the night for periods of time until they’re about four. Don’t get hung up on it. It will pass, it’s easy to get obsessed but trust me after two kids - no point obsessing over it.

It’s really rough and I know how the return to work date looming adds to the pressure. But I really wouldn’t worry about the whole self settling thing, especially when you have so much on your plate. Do what you and your baby need to get through this phase, it will pass. My eldest slept through the night consistently way before he could go to sleep alone.

You mentioned that she’d been ill lately. It might be that she’s still feeling a bit vulnerable and needs some time to readjust. Could also be teething or separation anxiety at that age.

The one thing that I changed with my 9 month old recently is a longer gap between the last nap and bedtime. That seems to have helped. He’s also just come though a really difficult period of illness, teething and development. He was waking every hour for what seemed like forever. Now it’s only a couple of times a night. So it will get better 💐

I think it's pretty normal both for a 9 month old and following illness. My DD is almost 16 months and has only just started sleeping through in the last week. I think it's just something you have to power through unfortunately. Sleep deprivation is a killer, especially if you're not used to it! My DS stopped sleeping through at 18 months and we really struggled. She will sleep through again, it will pass but until then you have all my sympathy!

Thank you all for your replies. I think i feel worse because she used to sleep through- or just wake once. She does sleep in her cot & will fall back asleep her self. Sometimes she wakes, puts her dummy back in & goes back to sleep. Sometimes she doesn’t. I do try to not pick her up but when she’s hysterical it’s difficult not to 😩 we have a very sim night light in her room so we don’t put the light on when she wakes. not meaning to drop feed but she has recently started nursery too, to get her ready for when I do go back to work. So I did wonder if it could be why. Sometimes she wake and start crying so either myself or my husband will go into her room & try putting her dummy in, patting bottom etc if that doesn’t work we pick her up and she falls straight back asleep 🤷🏻‍♀️

thank you for being so kind with your replies I definitely feel less alone & less like I’m doing something wrong! She’s our 1st (&last) so we are clueless. I will have a look at that Facebook group too.