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Original poster

How do you get your baby to sleep?

31 replies

PizzaPatel · 11/08/2022 23:27

I’m struggling.

bedtime is too late for me.

What do you do to put your small baby to steep? How did it get easier as thr months went on? As in did you do something differently or did your baby just become easier on their own? I feel like the “drowsy but awake” goal is impossible to achieve if you have a dummy refuser. Like so many other parenting rules it feels like something that just makes you feel like an inadequate parent.

thabks

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Original poster
PizzaPatel · 12/08/2022 09:40

Bump

OP posts:
LT2 · 12/08/2022 09:44

Either rocking or breastfeeding to sleep (only the latter no really). He's 6 months. Dummy refuser. Transfer him to cot when asleep (or we just co-sleep)

LT2 · 12/08/2022 09:44

Now*

Original poster
PizzaPatel · 12/08/2022 11:37

Ok that’s reassuring to hear. I’m breastfeeding to sleep and cosleeping too. May I ask what your nights are like? What time does he go to bed?

Mine goes to bed at anywhere between 9 and 12 and I can’t really control when because if he’s full of milk I can’t feed him to sleep and rocking to sleep only works some of the time. He’s only 7 weeks old but it’s my first experience of a dummy refuser so I guess I’m wondering if the bedtime will stabilise ever and if there’s anything I can do to make it happen.

His day naps are unpredictable at this age but they do take up most of the day until around 5pm when he’s mostly awake (apart from short naps) til his erratic bedtime.

i don’t seem to have any control over when he wakes or sleeps. I can’t wake him if he’s asleep and not ready to be awake - if I do manage it he’s just upset until he goes back to sleep a couple of minutes later.

OP posts:
Terriblethirtytwos · 12/08/2022 12:58

He’s seven weeks old! I don’t think many babies have a proper 7pm bedtime at that age. Bedtime will fall into place in the next few weeks, I’m sure. It’s tough not having your evenings but it sounds like you have older children so you know this will just be a phase and will pass soon. My baby is 4 months old and at 7 weeks she just came to bed when I did. Then we had a few weeks of the witching hour until 9/10pm every night, and then all of a sudden she went to bed at 7pm. I didn’t do anything different.

Mamabear04 · 12/08/2022 15:12

I have a 4 week old and sounds pretty similar to yours. My first baby always fed to sleep but this one doesn't really unless the stars align like you said and he's ready to sleep and feed at the same time. More often than not he prefers to feed when he wakes up. I've been doing a mixture of rocking, walking and jiggling while holding him and trying my hardest to get him to take a dummy so he goes to sleep in his cot (so far only worked a couple of times).

Last night DS went to sleep at 9.30pm after on and off sleep since 5pm and then slept until 2.30am, fed and cuddled to sleep, woke just after 7am then asleep again at 9.30am. Woke up around noon for a feed and then straight back to sleep and it's now just after 3pm. He always seems to wake up for his witching hours when DC1 arrives home and the place is mayhem again until he falls asleep anywhere between 8-11pm!

Original poster
PizzaPatel · 12/08/2022 18:30

good to hear that bedtime will sort itself out on its own! I can’t handle much longer of midnight bedtimes. Id go to bed at 8 if I could… I never know if I should be trying to wake him up more in the day or if I should just accept that at 7 weeks they sleep whenever they want to and trying to control it is futile… still haven’t made my mind up! Opinions and experience welcome!!

OP posts:
Mamabear04 · 12/08/2022 20:14

@PizzaPatel I've read around 3 months their circadian rhythm kicks in and you can start bedtime routines etc then to encourage a bedtime but would recommend keeping the routine the same time every day.

Calphurnia88 · 13/08/2022 15:15

Drowsy but awake doesn't work for A LOT of babies. It's a myth sold by sleep 'experts' to get you to pay for consultations when it inevitably doesn't work (but they'll make you feel like you've failed in order to part with your cash).

I feed to sleep for bedtimes and one nap a day (usually morning as most successful). Other two naps are in the pram or carrier. Baby will learn to self settle when he's ready.

Regularsizedrudy · 13/08/2022 15:19

I have never managed drowsy but awake. They seem to be either spark out or wide awake.

RandomMess · 13/08/2022 15:24

I did pick up put down even at this young age.

I saw at them learning it was ok to be awake in their cot. Then they would fall asleep.

I didn't want to feed to sleep as I wanted DH to be able to bed times/go out etc.

TheBirdintheCave · 13/08/2022 15:37

We let our son dictate when he was awake and asleep at seven weeks. Our bedtime was 11pm. We started nap routines at 12 weeks and bedtime for him became 7pm as he started sleeping through.

Original poster
PizzaPatel · 13/08/2022 20:49

Thanks all!

@TheBirdintheCave don’t suppose you remember what the nap routine method was?

thanks!

OP posts:
brookln · 15/08/2022 05:00

Mamabear04 · 12/08/2022 15:12

I have a 4 week old and sounds pretty similar to yours. My first baby always fed to sleep but this one doesn't really unless the stars align like you said and he's ready to sleep and feed at the same time. More often than not he prefers to feed when he wakes up. I've been doing a mixture of rocking, walking and jiggling while holding him and trying my hardest to get him to take a dummy so he goes to sleep in his cot (so far only worked a couple of times).

Last night DS went to sleep at 9.30pm after on and off sleep since 5pm and then slept until 2.30am, fed and cuddled to sleep, woke just after 7am then asleep again at 9.30am. Woke up around noon for a feed and then straight back to sleep and it's now just after 3pm. He always seems to wake up for his witching hours when DC1 arrives home and the place is mayhem again until he falls asleep anywhere between 8-11pm!

Wow that's a lot of sleep. My 7 weeks old never slept like that, once he's up in the morning he has a few 30 min naps in the day that's it. I'm exhausted entertaining him and rocking him.

TheRookie · 15/08/2022 05:33

Both of my babies slept on me for 'bedtime' until they were 6 months old! I was glued to the sofa under a sleeping baby from 8pm most nights! Not that I was complaining, it was wonderful ☺️

Regularsizedrudy · 15/08/2022 07:01

TheRookie · 15/08/2022 05:33

Both of my babies slept on me for 'bedtime' until they were 6 months old! I was glued to the sofa under a sleeping baby from 8pm most nights! Not that I was complaining, it was wonderful ☺️

When did you sleep?!

brookln · 15/08/2022 22:34

I was thinking that. Even if you slept too, not all night surely? Baby would fall off 😄

Spinasaurus · 15/08/2022 22:40

At 7 weeks old neither of mine went down any earlier than about 10pm/11pm. They just gradually got earlier after that but we didn't get a 7pm bed time until they were about 6 months old.

Both of mine had a dummy and at night we cuddled them to sleep. If they wanted fed after 8pm, I'd feed them upstairs and plonk them in their cot afterwards so I could have a bit of a lie down. Or DH would stay with them downstairs (both were FF) while I got an early night.

TheRookie · 17/08/2022 10:04

Regularsizedrudy · 15/08/2022 07:01

When did you sleep?!

Show quote history

Haha sorry wasn't clear! They slept on me until I went to bed at 11, then slept in a next to me during the night, with extremely regular wake ups!!

brookln · 17/08/2022 10:20

Wow @Spinasaurus 10-11pm?? Mine goes to sleep at 6.30, sleeps till about 7am, sometimes 8am. BUT he doesn't nap in the day, I'm talking like 2x 30 min naps that's it.

Maybe it's because of my early bedtime... 🤔

He is 7 weeks. He is not tired in the day at all, no tired signs whatsoever.

jumperoozles · 17/08/2022 10:28

At 7 weeks late bedtime is normal at 10 or 11… it will get earlier naturally in time. Also just feed to sleep. It won’t create bad habits. Always fed to sleep and now at 9 months he can self settle fine. It just happens.

Regularsizedrudy · 17/08/2022 10:29

brookln · 17/08/2022 10:20

Wow @Spinasaurus 10-11pm?? Mine goes to sleep at 6.30, sleeps till about 7am, sometimes 8am. BUT he doesn't nap in the day, I'm talking like 2x 30 min naps that's it.

Maybe it's because of my early bedtime... 🤔

He is 7 weeks. He is not tired in the day at all, no tired signs whatsoever.

Your 7 week old goes 12 hours without feeding?

brookln · 17/08/2022 19:08

@Regularsizedrudy he wakes up twice for feed Grin could be 3 times.

I just meant his 'go to bed' time is 7pm and his 'wake up' time is 7am.
Maybe that's too long and that's why he doesn't nap in the day

thisisit77 · 18/08/2022 10:22

I always found the earlier the better but no earlier than 6, but your baby is way too young to have a routine. You might start seeing consistency around 6 months but for me it was around 8 months

Aarti96 · 18/08/2022 10:31

Don’t stress too much OP. Your baby is only 7 weeks old. My DS didn’t have a proper schedule until past 6 months. I held him to sleep every night and now he’s 11 months and he sleeps through the night (and I still hold him to sleep).

He goes to bed at 7:30-8pm and wakes up at 7am. He created this schedule himself and it works for us! But believe me, he went through some very challenging stages along the way. And at 7 weeks old, they still need regular feeding throughout the night. DS only recently dropped his night feeds.

Sleep training/drowsy but awake never worked for us and he’s turned out absolutely fine! It just takes patience. I know it’s hard right now but you’re doing a brilliant job. This stage is so fleeting, you’ll miss it and regret putting too much pressure on yourself.