Co-sleepers: what's the endgame?

Cocobear · 2008-01-20T09:23:56+00:00

DD is 7 mos old, and it's looking like neither DH or I have the energy or will to move her into a cot. So I reckon she's just going to cosleep until, well, when? That's the question. How do you manage a crawling, curious baby that can escape the bed. We could put our mattress directly on the floor so at least she won't hurt herself falling out. How did others manage, and when did your DC finally end in their own bed (if ever)?

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KaySamuels · 20/01/2008 09:29

My ds slept with us until he was nearly three. We only moved him as he is huge and was taking up too much space. He now happily sleeps in his own bed in his room, settles himself to sleep etc.

IMO the endgame of cosleeping is your child is confident in your love and closeness to them, they and you sleep well and have a lovely bond. If and when they move to their own bedroom they are confident, good sleepers.

As far crawling our bed is relatively high and ds fell out of it twice in nearly three years, neither time injuring himself. He used to climb into the bed to go to slep so was always aware it was high and would usually climb down rather than fall out.

Original poster

Cocobear · 20/01/2008 09:50

Thanks KayS. We have tile floors and a high bed! I don't think I can risk a fall. But really the falling thing is the least of my worries, as it's easily solved by putting the mattress on the floor.

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needmorecoffee · 20/01/2008 09:53

On my mind right now. dd is nearly 4 and was just about to move her into her own bed but this week she's had 3 seizures about 10 mins after falling alsleep. Last one was last night. Feel like I will spend the rest of my life co-sleeping and going to bed at her bedtime cos of these farking seizures

Original poster

Cocobear · 20/01/2008 10:00

Oh NMC, very sorry. Has anyone had any helpful advice on how to deal with this? That must be incredibly draining.

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needmorecoffee · 20/01/2008 10:07

she's on meds and has another EEG but why 10 mins after falling asleep? Why not during the blardy day. Am really really really fed up of never getting any evening to myself.
And now aware have sefishly hijacked thread so will answer OP as have 3 other kids too.
We put a mattress on the floor with dd1 but ds1 and ds2, despite being crawly and rolly just never fell out of bed. ds1 moved to his own bed about 14 months and ds2 about 3.

FrannyandZooey · 20/01/2008 10:09

We used futon on the floor and waited till ds seemed happy to have his own bed (with encouragement). This was just before he was 3.

FrannyandZooey · 20/01/2008 10:11

sorry to hear that NMC. Apologies for ignorance but does she only have the seizures just after falling asleep? In which case would it make much difference if she was in her own room or yours?

needmorecoffee · 20/01/2008 10:16

right now she does Zanny. Been seizure free since last July but the ones she had last year always went into 'status'. That means they don't stop and you have to use rectal diazepan and call 999. This week they've only last a minute but she might go into 'status'. If I'm not there and the seizure goes on for hours it can lead to more brain damage or death. Status seizures really are the pits. Its why epilepsy can kill.

FrannyandZooey · 20/01/2008 10:17

I see, so you absolutely need to be there with her at all times

so sorry you have this worry

Original poster

Cocobear · 20/01/2008 20:25

Don't mind the hijack at all, NMC. This must drive you frantic. How are you coping? Do you have a DP who can do 'bedtime shifts'?

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araucaria · 20/01/2008 21:47

Hi Coco,
Glad you have asked this Q
My DH and I are in the same boat with DS (6 months) and are not sure how long we will go with it - we will prob end up doing nothing - but have worried about him falling out.
Can I ask what do you do for naps during the day, 'cos we can't get DS in the cot (ruddy waste of money ) for these either, and I am not sure I have the stomach for a fight over it.
Thanks

Tipex · 20/01/2008 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fondant4000 · 20/01/2008 21:59

We had a bedside cot, then we put a single bed next to our double when dd was 16 months. Moved to a different room at 3 (tho' I wd stay with her at least beginning of the night.)

Original poster

Cocobear · 23/01/2008 21:23

Sorry Araucaria, I drifted off for a few days...

Naps are a serious problem. At the moment, she naps either in her carseat (falls asleep in car) or in her pushchair, or I have to go up to bed with her. I block her onto the bed with big triangular bolster cushions, but do not stray out of reaching distance. This is why I think just popping the mattress on the floor will work out better.

But... it would be better at this point if she slept in the cot. I'd miss all the cuddliness, and the easy BFing in middle of night, but there are all sorts of issues with co-sleeping, namely having to go to bed along with them. And I do worry about her wandering about unsupervised (if we are downstairs or asleep).

Also, several of the people who have responded seem to have moved the children into their own beds/rooms at about 3. And that's at least a year longer than I have the patience for!

So, hmm, maybe I should give the cot a serious try (which I haven't yet, as co-sleeping, while not a perfect solution, has been pretty good).

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Original poster

Cocobear · 23/01/2008 21:23

Sorry Araucaria, I drifted off for a few days...

Naps are a serious problem. At the moment, she naps either in her carseat (falls asleep in car) or in her pushchair, or I have to go up to bed with her. I block her onto the bed with big triangular bolster cushions, but do not stray out of reaching distance. This is why I think just popping the mattress on the floor will work out better.

But... it would be better at this point if she slept in the cot. I'd miss all the cuddliness, and the easy BFing in middle of night, but there are all sorts of issues with co-sleeping, namely having to go to bed along with them. And I do worry about her wandering about unsupervised (if we are downstairs or asleep).

Also, several of the people who have responded seem to have moved the children into their own beds/rooms at about 3. And that's at least a year longer than I have the patience for!

So, hmm, maybe I should give the cot a serious try (which I haven't yet, as co-sleeping, while not a perfect solution, has been pretty good).

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SputnikEnRegalia · 23/01/2008 21:47

We had our DD in a sidecar-type arrangement next to the bed and found it really worked well. I'd put cushions etc to block her in there for the first part of the evening before we went to bed and that worked but she wasn't big on moving around a lot.

When she was nearly 3 we talked up having your own bed/room etc for ages (pointing it out in stories, showing her the kid's rooms in ikea catalogue etc.). Then we went and chose bed and bedding, went home and set it all up and she asked us if she could sleep in there. Simple as that. No real problems, and just as well as DS came along a few weeks after that. He's now in the sidecar. Waiting for 3 sounds ages but it goes fast, really

Nice to "see" you around btw Cocobear, how's things?

Original poster

Cocobear · 23/01/2008 21:58

Hey Sputnik. All's well out here, just considering whether the mozzie net will get all grubby if I get rid of the bed base. Decisions, decisions.

Three, ahem, does not go THAT fast. It takes 3 years!

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