15 weeks old with reflux - only sleeps in sling or in bed with mum

[gabbro86]

Hi all,

I'm the dad of a beautiful 15 week old baby boy, who has been suffering from reflux since he was 5 weeks. He's breastfed exclusively. GP decided against any medication (and we tend to agree) as he's putting on weight very well (8 kg and counting!) and the reflux is not that heavy (he doesn't projectile vomit or anything, just some spitting - you can hear him swallow milk/saliva/acid every now and then though).

He was sleeping very well in his cot/Moses basket until 6 weeks, but he suddenly started hating it, and my wife decided to co-sleep. I then moved to the sofa at night, to give them as much space as possible.

We still try almost every night to put him to sleep in his cot after the bedtime routine (bath, massage, pj, last feed, cuddles for 20-30 mins to minimise reflux), but he won't have it: he starts grizzling, rolling, waving hands and legs and eventually crying. My wife then picks him up, he'll suckle for a couple minutes and fall asleep for the night (well, for 4-5 hours).

Naps aren't different, the only change is that he sleeps very well in his baby Bjorn (rarely longer than an hour). We've tried everything: carrycot, pram, Moses basket... he'll only sleep in the Baby Bjorn and in bed with mum.

I guess I don't really know what I'm asking 😅- it's just a bit of a rant really, and looking for reassurance that it'll get better at some point! He's putting weight quickly and our backs/shoulders hurt from the hours spent carrying him. Also, we're going on holiday in a month and I won't have a sofa to sleep on...

Almost forgot, when I say we tried everything, I mean everything: dummies (various shapes and sizes), normal and antireflux formula before bed, putting the cot at an incline, white/pink/brown noise, no light, dimmed light, full light, all sorts of music, a lovey (a muslin cloth with a knot at the centre) for him to hold on to, mummy's t-shirt, daddy's t-shirt... and probably some other things I don't remember!

Hello, mum of 3 here and what you’re describing is really normal for this age. Many, many mothers cosleep in the time until the baby is six months old. Baby just wants mum and milk.
keep trying with the cot but I’d he sleeps a good stretch through safe cosleeping, I’d just do that. Make sure it is safe though with the duvet nowhere near him and only up to your wife’s waist (she can wear a long sleeved top if cold).
his sleep will improve over time. None of mine napped in the cot until they were 11/12 months old. They would only nap while being held or in the pushchair or Baby Bjorn.
This is all normal and it will get easier! This stage is exhausting for all of you.

You have my sympathy. Both of mine were the same - I couldn’t leave either of them down for a second, either day or night. My husband and I had to sleep in shifts. It was horrible.

Both were gaining weight so I had to push hard for medication but I was glad I did - as the first didn’t come off it until age 2, and the second is 2 now and still on it. (I know you don’t want to medicate, so hopefully your son will grow out of it quicker. The majority do.)

Have you considered cow milk protein intolerance? A lot of kids with reflux have it (mine did). Some babies get better / come off medication once cow milk protein is removed from the diet. As he is breastfed, your wife would have to eliminate all dairy. It can take a few weeks to see a difference as it has to leave her system first, then his.

I don’t really have any tips etc for you. Nothing worked for us but medication. Hopefully someone else will be along soon to give more advice.

It’s hell, and I still look back on those days and shudder. But it does pass - even though you feel like it won’t at the time!

Ps don’t sleep in the bed with your wife if baby is between you. It’s not forever… honestly! When you’re on holiday it will be hard.. no real suggestions apart from keep trying the cot

Sounds like a perfectly normal sleep regression to me. That said I'm still sleeping with my almost 3 year old and all of mine have been dreadful at sleep. 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ Baby is still pretty new, will still be waking to feed and I don't know about your wife but I found I got WAY more sleep co-sleeping as I could just feed lying down and have minimal disturbance. You can still sleep in the same bed as long as baby is not in the middle. Have a look at the lullaby trust safe co-sleeping guide. I hacked a cot into a co-sleeper which helped with the night time feeds as I'd lie semi in the cot to feed and then when they fell asleep I could roll out and it would give us a bit more space.

The wonder weeks app is great for warning about when sleep is likely to go wonky. I do think we have a very skewed idea of what normal baby sleep is though- it doesn't help when all anyone sodding asks is "how are they sleeping?" as well as the whole "slept like a baby"= a good night of sleep thing which makes absolutely no sense to me as personally I'd rather not wake up every 60-90 minutes crying, wet/ and or pooing.... 🤷🏼‍♀️

In the case of the carrying in a sling causing you both aches and pains I'd suggest a better sling. I really love integra/connecta slings as they fold up small and never ride up on my shoulders/ pull my back etc (I've had back problems for years but I can wear my toddler on my back in a connecta all day if I have to). There are sling libraries where you can hire them to trial- both online and possibly local to wherever you are.

I'd try and reassure you that it gets better but I'd be lying. The challenges just change and babies haven't read the parenting books we'd like them to follow. 😂