Getting breastfed baby to sleep through the night

[Edisnori]

I will be going back to work when my DD is 9 months and can't keep waking up 2-3 times. I'm a teacher and it takes a lot of energy. I ideally want her to get to drop at least one of her night feeds, ideally all of them. I'm considering the Ferber method as I've read that by 5 months they should be able to sleep through the night without eating. Any tips for getting an exclusively breastfed baby to sleep through the night at like 5-6 months? I really don't mind feeding her at night right now but I don't think I can do this and teach!

Baby’s are meant to wake during the night. Sleep training teaches babies no one will help them when they need it..

Haha not that crap again!

OP, what’s her diet like, has she taken to solids well? Is there anyone else that can settle her if she wakes at night?

I read an interesting article on the BBC website the other day. Studies show that sleep trained babies wake as often as untrained babies. They just don't cry.

Can she settle herself or does she feed to sleep all the time? That's the key thing. If they can settle themselves then, yes, they will wake in the night still, but can get themselves back to sleep without needing you to do anything.

We tried to seize any opportunity for the infamous 'putting down sleepy but awake' (at least once a day from a few weeks old) which meant she was used to being able to do it. When we started a bedtime routine at 3 months we stayed with her whilst she went to sleep but didn't rock, feed etc. And we dissociated feed from sleep - so the bedtime routine had the feed earlier on, followed by brushing any teeth, then reading a book together, then into bed.

Baby was 50/50 BF/FF which probably also helped but we separated both types of feed from going to sleep.

And, yes, it's true, they are capable of sleeping through from early on without needing to feed - mine did an 8 hour block every night from 8 weeks, which was up to 11-12 hours by five months. She's never been left to cry and always been responded to - but respond appropriately. If they make a noise in the night don't just assume they're hungry, observe for a few seconds and see what happens. We found half the time she'd simply settle back into sleep so if we'd lifted her to feed then we'd have woken her up.

We had to start combi feeding my daughter at about 3 months as she basically started being hungry all the time … the more formula she drinks during the day, the less she a wee wakes at night. Now at 5 months she usually wakes once. Last night she fed at about 8:30pm, 4am and then when she woke up at 7:30. I’m not necessarily you should give your DD formula but I do think they need a certain amount of food in a 24 hour period and if they are feeding more during the day they feed less at night… but all babies are different obviously. Haven’t done any sleep training so can’t comment on that. I suppose the question is whether your DD is feeding for comfort when she wakes or whether she’s waking because she’s hungry?

Excuse the typos…. Hopefully you get the gist!

How old is your baby now? I'd say 6 months is still young to go a full night without a feed. Both my breastfed babies had naturally dropped to one feed a night by about 7 months. I found both woke at 11pm, 1pm and 5am for feeds and they dropped the feeds in that same order. I didn't sleep train. I just gave them a chance to resettle when they stirred at night before going to them and I also offered water instead of a feed (once they were 6 months plus) to see if they'd settle without a feed too. Once they'd gone a couple of nights either resettling or having water instead of a feed, I found that they just dropped that feed.

A lot can change in just a few weeks in that first year. If you're still a couple of months off returning to work, I'd just give it a bit more time and see what they naturally do. I think you'll find they drop some feeds on their own.

I don't know how much training works, but since I co-slept, for DS1 the number one thing for me was making sure I was covered from waist to neck with long sleeves! Any sniff of bare skin and he wanted more feeds. I had no luck with any kind of training, it just slowly reduced until it was bedtime (9ish), one in the middle of the night, and one first thing by the time he was about 18 months, which was easy enough to cope with, then by the time he was 3 it had dropped to just first thing in the morning.

DS2 just gave up on his own at 8 months and was sleeping 9-6 with no effort on my part at all.

I'd say at 6 months you're probably over the hump, even for a heavy feeder like DS1, and it'll start reducing a bit - is there anything you can do to make it easier on you - like co-sleeper or similar, so at least you're not waking up any more than you have to to feed?

This one?

www.bbc.com/future/article/20220322-how-sleep-training-affects-babies

that’s because the study looked at cry it out, which is cruel and not being advised here. Stop with the scaremongering.

@Wouldloveanother She's 4 months and 15 days so not on solids yet. But I'll start weaning from 6 months. At the moment she's exclusively breastfed. My partner could settle her?

@Seeline You mean they just know how to get back to sleep better? She's already showing signs of being good at this. Sometimes when she's having a nap, she wakes and then one of two cries, then falls asleep again.

Oh right. I have to be honest and say 4 months is a bit too early to do any form of sleep training, to me. Mine was up to feed once or twice a night at that age. She slept through from 6 months though, I would see how things are then.

I went back to work when DS was 9 months and stopped breastfeeding completely at 16 months. He night weaned at 11 months, which helped with the sleep. DH then shared the night wake ups.

He’s 19 months and still wakes up 1-2 times a night though. I just get an earlier night, take turns with DH to go through to the nursery and we each get a lie in per week.

She will be a totally different baby in the next 5 months, so what might work now may not work in the future. The best thing you can do is get your partner onboard to share settling, express so he can give her a bottle w etc.

@RidingMyBike What you do sounds like exactly what we do. She goes down sleepy but awake for every nap. She self soothes by singing to herself and sucking her thumb lol - it's very sweet. One of us is always in the room when she doing this. Yesterday , I left the room while she was babbling sleepily and she fell asleep. But I want to try to get her to not need at least one of the night feedings. In an ideal world, I'd feed her whenever she wants at night, but I honestly don't think I do this and teach full time.

@Fleur405 she isn't great at drinking from a bottle, she likes formula though but more ends up on her chest than in her stomach. But I do try to feed her looooads during the day. Practise using the bottle every day too.

@Aria2015 thank you this is actually very helpful and consoling!

@SunThroughTheCloudsAt6am yes she sleeps in cot initially and then comes into the bed from about 11pm

@Wouldloveanother No I'm definitely not thinking of doing it now when she's 4 months. I want to potentially start at the age they say they can start which is like 5-6 months.

If she can already self-settle well you'll probably find she drops feeds anyway as she gets older. Mine had 3-4 BFs and 3-4 7oz bottles a day until 7 months but by nine months had dropped to 2 BFs and 2 4-5oz bottles. It felt a bit odd as she'd been so milk obsessed until about 7 months, then it became a much smaller part of her life!
We did find it easier after six months when we moved her into her own room next door to ours - everybody slept a lot better as we weren't disturbing each other!

Seconded. It's not intentional obviously and we all make mistakes, me hugely, but it's unfair, cruel even, to expect a baby to know that milk suddenly can't be had at night when they need it at night, wake up naturally for it to suckle and build supply as needed (see growth spurts, they are not regression, they are periods where baby's innate need to suckle to build supply for the spurt kicks in and amplifies) I get that people go back to work and it's a great shame for mum and baby in lots of ways but end of the day it's what some of need or choose to do.

I just think it's good to try and correct the misunderstandings for those who want to act on them.

A baby cannot learn to feel safe alone at night or ever, or learn to supress an innate need to suckle. Why do we need dummies when we don't use breasts? IT's because that need cannot go away, it's innate.

Now I weaned my baby at night at age two for similar reasons. So I do get it, and I will say that it was not what was best for my baby, (ideally) it was what was best for me and what I did?

Extremely simple; dad does it. dad has no boobs, can't ask dad for milk. He got her to settle alone and the cries were painful and I felt bad and what I did was not for my baby, it was for me. If you try to night wean you will have a terrible time because baby will scratch at your boobs and make you feel guilty.

Ask him for help. He needs to get the baby to sleep alone and realise you aren't going to be there. Took us three weeks.

Just an update in case anyone ends up looking at this chat for advice one day. We are on our way to getting my DD to drop one of her night feeds. After posting in the chat, I remembered that I'd read in a book that sometimes when they wake up at night (once they're old enough) don't jump to feed them straight away. Wait a little bit to see if they can fall back asleep. So we have started to do this at the 1am/2am feed and she always falls back asleep if we leave her in her cot for a few minutes. Not crying but making tiny crying noises that she makes when she wakes up and shes confused and tired. She does this for about two minutes then sleeps. Last night she didn't even wake up at 2am and slept from 10pm until 4am! Longest stretch she's ever done. So I think once your baby can self soothe it's fine to not immediately jump to feeding them and wait and see if they can fall back asleep. I will eventually try and do this for the 4am/5am feed too!

Well done OP, that's what we did from a couple of weeks old - just observed for a few seconds instead of immediately pouncing and feeding.