Please help. Baby won’t sleep at 6 weeks

[DB1991]

I’m desperately in need of advice. I’m a new mum who is home alone during the day with my six week old son. My son was in intensive care after birth for two weeks before we brought him home. He has slept ok but more recently it’s been so hard to get him to sleep. During the day he tends to nap on me but even that has become a struggle. He tries to root at the breast and almost becomes irate with it although his dummy tends to soothe him. This is hard though because it means I am unable to make myself food or go to the toilet. It was bearable when he was sleeping for a good hour or even more but the naps aren’t lasting as long.

I’ve tried swaddling him when he becomes over tired and rocking him to sleep which sometimes works but he wakes up soon after and cries. I can’t do anything as I need to have him with me! My husband is good at getting him to sleep when he comes home from work but this can often take up to an hour and it eats into our time together. We have to eat separately. I’ve tried a baby sling but he hates it and cries when I use it - I thought maybe I could get things done around the house and he could sleep but no.

When he’s overtired he seems wired and it’s so hard to get him to calm down and sleep. During night feeds this happens and it can take forever for him to go back down again. I’m exhausted every day with feeding through the night plus not getting any sleep of my own during the day as I’m too set on getting him to nap. Please help :’(

The best advice I saw on Instagram which has worked so far- if they can’t calm down…’put them in water or take them outside’

i also have a wired baby. When she overtired I give her a full belly despite the screaming and squirming (she prefers a bottle if she’s really pissed off- she seems to feed easier rather than rooting for boob and getting hyped up on my prolactin smell), then my husband takes her for a walk in the garden or along the road. Or I’ll pop her in the bath.

Your husband should also be doing expressed night feeds so you can rest too. Will baby take a bottle?

I am at home and my husband works in the much sung about on MN ‘high pressured job’- he still does the evening feed and the first wake up each night.

Your baby is only 6 weeks old, still so new and still in the fourth trimester where they just want to be with you. He’s too young for a proper routine yet. At this age, just go with it and don’t feel guilty about not getting things done around the house. In a couple of months he will be a bit older and likely better at napping and being put down.

It’s a normal phase and not forever, they do settle again don’t worry. It’s just one of those things, you aren’t doing anything wrong.

My advice is forget doing anything “productive”, just sit in front of the TV and hold/feed them. Make sure your DH leaves you breakfast and lunch that needs no prep and feeds you all evening. Then make no plans to move from the sofa.

There's a big growth spurt at 6 weeks, fussing at the breast is baby trying to stimulate another let down. Your body soon catches on and increases your supply but it is frustrating. I used to switch feed to help with fussiness, switching between both breasts at the same feed multiple times.

Also forget doing housework at this point. Just stick a boxset on and enjoy the contact naps!

Honestly, this is totally normal in my experience. Just go with it. Let him feed, watch TV, have your meals pre prepared and handy for you to get with one hand. I was only starting to get dressed by week 6! Be wary too of all the info on sleep and naps. My baby didn't nap all that long - he was just an awake baby, there's nothing the matter at all with him. I think I read his awake window was meant to be 45 minutes at that age, he could go hours and not sleep. Even older he used to get 2 20 minutes naps during the day, it all changed when he started to walk and dropped to one nap, now he could easily nap for 2 hours, the odd time 3 so please, please just go with the flow and enjoy it - it will change :-)

And then catch up on sleep at the weekend. I used to stay in bed as long as I needed Sat and Sun - husband would bring baby to me for a feed and then take him straight after :-)

Thanks everyone. I’m just a worrier and panic when he cries so much. Unfortunately I am not able to breastfeed so he’s been getting formula. He seems to be rooting still though - he did latch when he was born as I wanted to breastfeed but because he was so unwell we weren’t able to have much skin to skin. Also got no support from the hospital but that’s another story. I bring him up for cuddles on me as he is a contact napper but can get too excited by the smell which could be milk? Then starts screaming and he’s hard to settle again. I need to start being a bit more prepared for lunches as it is not fun being so hungry when you’re dealing with an unsettled baby! I appreciate all your replies. I’ll try to go with the flow x

if you still wanted to breastfeed you can, it’s only 6 weeks your supply can come back 🙂 and it doesn’t have to be all or nothing of either, you can combine breast and formula however you want, even if he just gets a teaspoon and some comfort from you and meals from bottle. Just wanted to say this in case you’re still feeding disappointed that you couldn’t breastfeed.

On the sleep issue, I’m 6 weeks ahead of you and my baby still doesn’t like being put down much and certainly doesn’t nap independently, all his naps are in the carrier or on me. He’s better at overnight sleep, but I don’t get much done in the day. The best advice I ever got was this: it’s temporary, in ten years you’re not going to look back and think “I wish I’d cleaned more!” But you will think you should’ve cuddled your baby every opportunity!

Totally normal, lots of little growth spirts. 6 months in my experience before you can depend on their sleep

If I were you I'd persevere with the sling. they're a godsend. I recommend getting about 10min from the beginning of nap time, with a clean bum and a full tum (as we say in my house) and then putting baby in the sling and going outside. Walk nice and briskly, talk or hum or sing in a low voice, and pat the baby firmly on the bum as you go. Give it at least 20min. It takes them time to get used to it, but if you can get it, it will change your life.

I agree re sling ; nothing much you can do apart from falling in line with your baby at the moment. If nothing is working you need to get out of the house for a walk and the sling is convenient for you and should comfort your baby when they are used to it.we all know the feeling of impotence that you have now but each week means that you can understand your baby better and in a few weeks things really will be much better.