I have a 7mo (my first) and I have been struggling with sleep since day one. Sorry in advance for the long read - I’m mostly just venting and wondering if anyone else’s little angel is a stubborn as mine, but if anyone has any advice I would be eternally grateful. Everyone else I know seems to have the baby that will either put themselves to sleep, or sleep through the night, or both.
The biggest issue is that (barring the car or the pram) she will not sleep without boob and will also not unlatch of her own accord. Other people have occasionally managed to rock or sing her to sleep but she will. not. let me. She will not take a dummy (tried and tried), she does not want a comforter, she will not be put down ‘drowsy but awake’, she has steadfastly resisted the ‘gradual retreat’ approach and CIO would not work, even if it was a route I wanted to go down. She has, twice in her life, put herself to sleep in the cot by rolling around until she falls asleep, but this is an unbearably rare occurrence, and any attempts to recreate it are met with tears and tantrums.
The only way she will routinely fall asleep is lying down in my bed on the boob, and and if anything unlatches her (even long after she is done feeding) she will hunt for the boob in her sleep and cry and start to wake up if she doesn’t get it back. Night feeds are surprisingly okay, off the boob and back into her cot with usually no trouble. Bedtime is kind of okay, as she’s usually tired enough that I can manoeuvre her from beside me to onto my lap, and then into her cot, though the whole process takes at least half an hour. Naps are the real bugbear.
A bad naps day currently looks like either:
- Two and a half hours of in and out of the cot, up and down off the bed, rocking, shushing, patting, singing, lots and lots of crying (both her and me).
- A 20 minute nap and a very grumpy time until next sleep (usually in the car), as once properly awake there is no getting her back down for the rest of her nap.
- A completely missed morning nap as she refuses to fall asleep without boob.
- Me not wanting the hassle, so just driving her around for an hour. (I’m currently parked up waiting for her to finish her nap, knowing I’m going to be extremely late for an appointment).
I usually just end up boobing to sleep, and then lying next to her the entire time, (mostly latched) as even when she unlatches I can’t bear to then try and get her into the cot, and I obviously can’t leave her on her own in my bed. This means that the only time I would generally get to myself is spent lying down in the dark being a pacifier, which is getting increasingly frustrating. It also means that planning my day is an absolute nightmare, and I tend not to plan anything until after 11 so that we can get the morning out of the way and I’m not stuck out somewhere trying to get her to nap. Bedtime is late and is such a farce that my partner and I are exhausted and tend to go to sleep when she does, which means we get no time together to relax.
Is it me? Something I have done? Am I a terrible mother? Do I not rock or sing right? Do my boobs not work properly? Definitely starting to question whether my supply is poor, will probably post in a different topic about that one though.