Anyone else still not had a bedtime routine at 12 weeks?

GinnyBee · 2022-08-03T03:03:59+00:00

I keep seeing people describing their bedtime routines with their small babies and started feeling like I should have one, but he’s so little I don’t know how to do it! Currently he falls asleep whenever, sometime between 10-11.30pm, I’m breastfeeding and feed to sleep. He then sleeps pretty well, 6-8 hours. And on a related note, will his bedtime start shifting earlier on its own or is that something we need to work on? He’s not great at going to sleep, so I just let him do what he wants as it’s less stressful for everyone 🙈 Please tell me I’m not the only one!

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FilePhoto · 03/08/2022 04:20

I certainly didn't have a routine at 12 weeks.
I can't remember if their bedtime naturally got earlier or if I started putting them to bed at some point. It was all so long ago.

SpringRainbow · 03/08/2022 05:45

In my experience they kind of just settle into their own routine. The bedtime routine just kind of evolved.

It sounds like you kind of have the start of a routine already.

PurBal · 03/08/2022 05:55

I wouldn’t worry about a fixed routine at 12 weeks. Do what works for you, it sounds like you are.

Holidayworries · 03/08/2022 06:04

Definitely don't worry about routines. Your baby sleeping 6-8 hours is amazing. If you shift that to 7pm-1am you'll be exhausted. Stick as you are!

Chdjdn · 03/08/2022 06:25

I had a change into pjs and feeding in the dark routine by then but that was about the same time as you. I only brought it forward to an earlier bedtime when they got tired earlier

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/08/2022 06:26

We found she settled into her own routine around 7 months and till then kept her downstairs with us. Worked out fine.

Do what you feel is best.

Fe345fleur · 03/08/2022 06:35

Glad it's not just me! We don't have one, and I'm not really expecting DD to be ready for a routine at 3 months. I'm just happy she's worked out night time is for sleeping...at least some of the time. I think that when she gets to 6 months and put her in her own room we'll probably introduce one then.

miraveile · 03/08/2022 06:37

Just let baby lead as you are doing!

drpet49 · 03/08/2022 06:38

No one has a routine at 12 weeks, that’s crazy

WhatNoRaisins · 03/08/2022 06:40

If you're bottle feeding to a schedule I can see how you could incorporate a bedtime routine into that. I don't get how you could with a fed on demand baby.

MassiveSalad22 · 03/08/2022 06:59

Nah DC3 is 16 weeks old and still downstairs with us usually until we go to bed. I remember reading that sort of statement with my other 2 and thinking having an evening with your baby sounds awful, but it’s what’s working for us this time. Plus love interacting with her uninterrupted by her brothers!

isthatwhatyoureallywanted · 03/08/2022 07:03

At around that stage with DC1, we started doing bathtime about 6pm and the putting her into a babygro and would read a few stories. This was simply because it was something to do and I felt better with a bit of structure to the day. It was also around the time she started wearing clothes more during the day and so had to change out of those and into a babygro at some point. It didn't link at all to her actually going to sleep or anything like that!
With DC2, we started earlier but that was simply because DC1 had very strong views on them getting ready for bed together and, by that time of the day, I'd fought enough battles and said no to her about other things enough times (she was very keen to push DC2 around in her doll's pram and take him for rides on her scooter etc.) Also, if DC2 was having a bath, it was as easy to dip him in whilst DC1 was in the bath as anything else. Again, it had no link to him actually going to bed or to sleep.
Feel free to think murderous thoughts towards anyone who head tilts and says things along the lines of "my DC was a good sleeper as we always had a solid bedtime routine with a bath, baby message with lavender oil, a story and then a feed in a dark room". Well so did I. It had no effect on them actually going to sleep. I think one of my former colleagues thought I used to take mine out clubbing each evening and then prod them awake at various points in the night.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 03/08/2022 07:42

isthatwhatyoureallywanted · 03/08/2022 07:03

At around that stage with DC1, we started doing bathtime about 6pm and the putting her into a babygro and would read a few stories. This was simply because it was something to do and I felt better with a bit of structure to the day. It was also around the time she started wearing clothes more during the day and so had to change out of those and into a babygro at some point. It didn't link at all to her actually going to sleep or anything like that!
With DC2, we started earlier but that was simply because DC1 had very strong views on them getting ready for bed together and, by that time of the day, I'd fought enough battles and said no to her about other things enough times (she was very keen to push DC2 around in her doll's pram and take him for rides on her scooter etc.) Also, if DC2 was having a bath, it was as easy to dip him in whilst DC1 was in the bath as anything else. Again, it had no link to him actually going to bed or to sleep.
Feel free to think murderous thoughts towards anyone who head tilts and says things along the lines of "my DC was a good sleeper as we always had a solid bedtime routine with a bath, baby message with lavender oil, a story and then a feed in a dark room". Well so did I. It had no effect on them actually going to sleep. I think one of my former colleagues thought I used to take mine out clubbing each evening and then prod them awake at various points in the night.

First child was a bit of a free for all with similar hours to you but not a solid sleeper. I'd have to do a dream feed around 4am. Completely knackering
So I'd say you have a good routine and if it ain't broke...

At 12 weeks it's still very early days though it was was possibly the longest 3 months of my life.
With no2 we got into the routine described by this poster around 16 weeks on for the same reasons, to settle no1 child who was very indignant about an earlier bedtime. Put baby to bed at the same time, by reading them both a story and feeding no2 at the same time. Then they both went down and I did a dream feed around 11pm.
As they get older and more active they will sleep longer at night. You sound like you are doing very well and a "routine" is not a rigid thing. It changes almost weekly at that age and they go through growth spurts

Beehappy21 · 03/08/2022 07:44

Please don't compare you to anyone else! You're doing fab. Babies put themselves into a routine when they are ready! My daughter is 7 months, and we do what works for us, nobody else.

Original poster

GinnyBee · 03/08/2022 07:46

Thanks everyone! I feel a bit better now. I’m just amazed how many babies in my FB groups seem able to go to sleep with a story and a pat on the bum! Mine whines incessantly unless a boob is in his mouth or I bounce around the house holding him 🙈😂 I don’t want to start a routine and then find myself still doing it three hours later if it’s one of the nights he’s not sleepy until closer to midnight!

OP posts:

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 03/08/2022 07:51

Sleeping 6 to 8 hours! Amazing don’t change anything. I can only remember DD2 at that age as she had a routine as she would go in the bath with DD2 at the same time every night but then she was feed/snooze on me on the sofa until 10ish when we went to bed.

JustAnotherViper · 03/08/2022 07:53

DS1 wouldn’t sleep for more than 2 hours ever, needed to be fed to sleep and held to stay asleep. We didn’t have a solid routine until almost 2.

DS2 popped out with his own schedule in mind. Around that age he needed to be in his sleep suit and bag by six or he went mental, fed to sleep and could reliably be put down in the side sleeper by 8, with a wake a midnight and four for milk.

Not massively different parenting wise so sometimes it is just parenting the child you have, not the child the book says you should have.

MissCrowley · 03/08/2022 08:04

You're doing great, do not move bedtime for your own sanity.
If my babies slept 6-8 hours when they were tiny I'd have been much bloody happier! Instead when the second came along (13 months ago) they tag teamed me! 🤣🤣

elenacampana · 03/08/2022 08:08

drpet49 · 03/08/2022 06:38

No one has a routine at 12 weeks, that’s crazy

I did! It was fabulous :-D