5 year old not staying in own bed

[KittyB52]

Our 5 year old won’t stay in her own bed and it is affecting our sleep (I am menopausal so don’t feel like I’ve slept anyway).

She doesn’t settle herself, which we are resigned to. She has a good bedtime routine, I read a book, her dad reads a book, then he stays with her until she is asleep.

We have a gro clock and she knows she isn’t supposed to come into our room until there’s only one or two stars. Still, every night, she is in our bed - sometimes she appears at 4am, sometimes I come up to bed at 11 and she will be snoring away in our bed already! I am a heavy sleeper so don’t hear her when she comes in in the night. She wants to cuddle her dad, so she clings to him like a limpet, which means he doesn’t sleep (and he needs his sleep, he is grumpy enough already!)

We’ve tried stickers, rewards charts, offered treats, taken her tablet away, stopped her playing games on the Switch, nothing works. She even brings her own pillow in with her now! 🙄😆

Any advice please?

My 5 year old is the same so was his brother who is now nearly 8 and stopped it about 6 months ago.

Both my boys was down to fear and being scared alone in the dark when they wake up

I just let them be though as I remember being 5 and lying terrified in my bed at night because of shadows. I don't want my kids feeling that way.

She will grow out of it naturally.

I'm just glad I only have one in the bed now as when the other was their too it wasn't the best.

We can’t carry on like this for potentially another 3 years, we need our sleep! I’m not convinced she is scared - she doesn’t come in upset, she calmly gets her pillow and soft toy, and brings them to our room! 😁

Seriously though, we need our sleep! 😬

Have you tried the method whereby if they come in, you take them by the hand and take them back to bed say its night time now. If you look at Jo frost she advocates this method

I haven’t as I don’t hear her come in to our room, I just wake up to find her fast asleep next to me.

I will suggest it to OH, as he hears her get out of bed.

If oh hears her. It has to be him, then she probably wake you as she will not be happy about it so will be a lot of her being annoyed and shouting. Then you can help each other. Your likely do it a billion times the first few nights.

You could get her a double for her room and have dad go sleep in with her when she wakes. You’d likely all get more sleep that way. But if proper independent staying her bed by herself is the goal then the bedtime routine is probably part of the problem. If she can’t go to sleep by herself then it shouldn’t really be a surprise that when she naturally stirs overnight, as we all do, she also feels like she can’t go back to sleep on her own. I would go full on supernanny but consistently so for bedtime too, not just in the middle of the night.

I have left the two of them in our double and gone to sleep in her bed, but she clings to him like a limpet, and I have an iffy back, so she's the only one that gets any sleep then! No room for a double bed in her room either.

I think we need to swot up on the Supernanny technique and go for that. The occasional sleepover in our room is fine, but it's every single night.

I think as you said go full super nanny technique. It be tough. But push through. Just stick to it to a letter, don't alter or cave and that I find is the key.

Don't get me wrong if their ill etc it's a bit different.