20 month old still not sleeping through. Any tips? May die from exhaustion!

[auntynatal]

My DD2 has always been a poor sleeper and we have been going with it now for 20 months! Did controlled crying with DD1 and never wnat to repeat that experience. She goes through periods (ie 2 weeks max!) of sleeping 7-6 then months of waking 2-3- times. AT it's worst she doesn't settle for 2 hours. At it's best we go in, give her back her cuddlies and dummy and she settles but it's still 1-2 times a night.

I've tried cutting out her daytime sleep which worked for a couple of days then I think she was so exhausted she couldn't sleep properly.

Don't know if taking the dummy away will help?

Any tips will be gratefully received. I am at my wits end!

A few ideas..

Does your DD2 have lots of dummies around her so she can find them herself if she wakes?

What time does she wake from her nap - could she go earlier for a nap so is more tired?

Have you tried lots of long walks in the fresh air / trips to the park / soft play places etc so she is physically more tired?

I had to wean DS1 off the breast to get him to sleep through. We did a gradual retreat method so I cuddled and rocked him with no breast feeding to start with then gradually reduced the amount of comfort I gave him until he now falls asleep by himself. Don't know if it would work with a dummy. I could not bear CC and felt that although this is a much longer method it is emotionally easier as a parent and more flexible.

Lack of sleep is a terrible thing. My HV lent me the book 'Teach your child to sleep' published by Hamlyn. Don't know if it has relevant things for a 20month old as DS1 was about 9 months when we started it and about 14 months when he was sleeping through (holidays and illness etc made the process longer)

Hey..might be a stupid question but is her room warm enough? My ds2 is now 13 months and has only recently started sleeping through the night without calling for me. This change only happened when I made his room just a little bit warmer. I felt terrible when I realised that he had been waking up cold for months!!

He now sleeps with a full pyjama and grobag and the room is approx. 18-19 degrees. He has been sleeping through without waking for the last three weeks. It might be worth a try for you?

Thanks for the tips ladies! DD's room is plenty warm enough but I may try the opposite so thanks! I have also tried the dummy thing for the first time tonight so fingers crossed!

Had to smile at your post pops79 my mum is obsessed with DS being 'warm enough' at night so I won't be telling her about your experience!

What about a dummy clip? Or my friend made this scary creature called Dummyhead by sewing a dummy onto the head of a teddy bear so her DD could find it in the night.
Good luck tonight

auntynatal - Does your DD speak at all? Maybe you can ask her what the problem is - is she cold/hot, does she have bad dreams, is she scared of shadows, does she want more light in her room?

Fwiw, our DD has been sleeping through since 4 months but went through about a month of waking up 2-3 times and calling for DH, so he would walk around holding her and put her back to sleep. One night when he had enough, he told me to go down, and when I did, I told her (admittedly, not in my sweetest voice, but I wasn't shouting at her or anything) that night time is for sleeping and mummy and daddy are not happy to be woken up like this, that she is a big girl now and her teddy bear and cat would now keep her company until morning. She said "OK" (well, "Coco", really). I kissed her, the teddy, and the cat, and left.

Guess what? She went back to sleeping through.

[Before you think of me as a heartless cold excuse for a mother, I have a beautiful affectionate relationship with DD and I love her more than anything in the world.]

CoteDazur - I say to my DS (who went through a phase of waking between 4.30 and 5.30 in the morning) I'll see you in the morning after 6. This is as well as saying goodnight and I love you but weirdly it seems to work. He is only 18mnths so can't really understand but if it works then I'm happy!

Just caught up with things again. DD2 is now "only" waking once a night so don't feel quite so knackered and resentful.

Scootergrrrl.. love the idea of dummy head! V funny and might just try it!

She does talk but I was worried about sparking her up again at that time of night. Maybe worth a try? Heartfelt thanks again to everyone. What a wonderful place this is!

My 9 month old keep waking up 5-6 times per night, he was doing really well up to 6 months old, and was sleeping 10 hours. he then had a couple of colds/bugs etc and hasn't slept through since October. He settles with his dummy, but it only works for a few mins and then he's crying again. Have left him crying sometimes as nothing works.

It seems like it's now his new habit, any suggestions to break this habit, not sure what do try

Is it you that always goes in? We started sending dh in only (bliss for me) and she got the message - no milk, just hairy cuddles - soon got the message. She was 9-10 monthsat the time though and still BF. If she goes through phases of it now (20 mths) we go back to sending dh in (although claims never to hear her) hth

Notslept i have exactly the same problem. My ds was sleeping through the night and then had a few tummy bugs, they really set him back and i havnt had a decent nights sleep in months. Im on my own with him so its only me getting up in the night. Have decided from tonight onwards im going to just have to get a bit tougher about it. No dummy, No milk and if he cries i'll just go in, settle him and go bk to bed. Im guessing its gonna be tough for the first few nights but will definately be wirth it in the end.