My son keeps lashing out when going to sleep at night

[fay96]

So my son is 23 months and he won't go to sleep in his cot so each night I have to give him his bottle and give him cuddles to go to sleep but he keeps hitting me and laughing I have been explained why he can't be hitting. I have also ignored it both don't work I have also been putting him in his cot and walking away into the next room doesn't work lately my husband has been saying just give him to me and he can't get him to sleep makes him worse and I have to then start all over again, my husband is now starting to have a go at Me and saying stop your making yourself worse and have a brake I will take him in the car which I think isn't the right option in my opinion, it's just getting worse. tonight I have been left in tears with my husband having a go at Me and taking my son in the car, I can't keep this up, my husband is amazing with me and is a brilliant dad just night time is a struggle I am lost for what I can do to make it easier for my son and myself any ideas

This will boil down to your parenting ethos with regard to sleep training.

You and DP need to decide tomorrow what approach you’re going to take to sleep training, ie what routine your little one has around sleep time, resettling, any night feeds etc. Like is it going to be bath book bottle bed, and then a bottle when he wakes, or just a cuddle? Car or no car? Are you going to cuddle him to sleep or practice gradual withdrawal? Google some ideas. Agree the ground rules and always have a plan B in mind that you both agree on.

Then when nighttime comes and it’s a struggle: try to keep calm with each other and stick to what you agreed. It’s so so hard with a non sleeper but you both arguing over it won’t help at all.

When you put him in his cot after he hits you and youve told him no, what does he do?

Id be tempted to leave him there for a while even if he is crying so he then understands that if he hits you then you aren't going to stay cuddled up to him. Repeat every time he hits, even if it takes hours the first night

Probably add as well with the hitting he’s probably just testing boundaries and being that pushy kind of playful, but it is something you already know you will need to lay down a firm boundary about.

He's getting lots of attention for undesirable behavior.

You need to focus on putting him down in his cot at bedtime after a cuddle and a story. If he cries go back and settle him down but don't get him up again. Just tell him it's bed time. He's nearly 2, time to get it cracked.

If the cuddles helps him fall asleep I would just do that. Many children this age still want the comfort of those closest to them to help them fall asleep.

I believe hitting is normal at this age. Here is an article I saw https://lovevery.co.uk/community/blog/child-development/kicking-biting-and-hitting-understanding-and-responding-to-your-toddlers-tantrums/?utmsource=email&utmmmedium=blog&utmcampaign=5678079

I would stop the car situation. Just a bad habit and not realistic to do everyday. This all sounds very normal. Just ride it out I say. I'm in a very similar situation with a 21 month old. Many people say it's around age 2-3 that their children slept much better so not long to go!

Time to start sleep training! And you and dh have to be in the same page.

It will be much better for ds when he can put himself to sleep. And for you both!

Be firm, and be consistent. He's almost two - he doesn't need cuddling to sleep.