Almost 1 year old screaming hysterically at nap time 🙁

[Seahorse87]

Hi all,

wondering if anyone has been through the same experience and can offer some advice?

My DD, almost 1 year old, has been an excellent sleeper for a long time. We gently sleep trained after the 4 month regression hit and she has self settled for naps and bedtime since with rarely any fuss.

In the last few weeks I’ve started back to work part time and she’s been at nursery some days, with grandma on others. Nursery struggled to get her to sleep the first couple of days, but the 3rd day she napped for them but with some tears.

the last few days she has been crying hysterically when put into her cot for naps. The only thing that settles her is me feeding to sleep, which as this the issue we needed to break after the 4 month regression, really stresses me.

Her latest working routine (only last week) was:
Awake 6/6.30am
Nap 10-10.30ish (woken after 30mins max, sometimes 20)
Nap 2.15-3.45ish (max 4pm)
Bedtime 7.30/8pm (4hrs after waking)

I feel she is not quite ready to go to one nap as she tires after circa 4hrs, but maybe I’m wrong?

She has also been sick recently, and seems to have had a big leap in terms of development. She not walking but cruising confidently, not talking but can make some animal noises.

Any advice from others who’ve gone through similar would be much appreciated!!!

It could be because you just started back at work (if I read right and that's when it started) causing separation anxiety. Which same happened when I went back to work.

For me personally and my lo she would not be able to do times of naps of 4 hours awake time before first nap. But that's my lo and you know and see your lo. Especially at your Los age. Maybe lo overtired?

I think I would do something like
915am asleep 10am awake
1pm to 115pm asleep 3pm to 315pm awake.
730pm bed. Asleep by 8pm.

Thanks @ChittyBang1987 for responding. She was doing just 3hrs before first nap for quite a while but now it’s closer to 3.5 in the morning which she has been happily doing for a few weeks. Then roughly 3.75 before second nap and 4 before bedtime. I think she isn’t quite getting enough sleep overall but putting her down sooner resulted in some resistance for the first nap, even before she started screaming for both.

Yes I have just started back to work and I think you could be right on the separation anxiety - what did you do when this happened to you? Did you help them to get to sleep? Did the phase last long?

I’m hoping it’s just a a phase but scared I am creating new unsustainable habits because as I say the only way she will settle is with me feeding her (know this works for some people but for various reasons it’s difficult for us)

Mine gave up naps totally at 12 months and were fine. Maybe a bit grouchy from 5pm until bedtime about 6.30pm.

I'm envious of anyone who has had a child that napped after that age.

Your DD may be like mine and not want to have a nap.

Don't feed her to sleep if that's unsustainable.

Go back to the principles you used to gently sleep train the first time and do it again. Try and create a routine that can be easily applied to nursery and when she's with her grandma.

It sounds like she's gone from one quite set routine to you being at work and her now being looked after by a range of different people on different places, she's bound to be a little unsettled initially, but will settle in time when she knows the new routine.

Talk to her about the new routine. They understand so much more than you think at this age. Let her know where she will be, with who and when.

I'm a mean mum (she adores her mama and im her favourite without a doubt though the family dog is a close first) I kept to the principles of sleep training of control crying. Initially I did the being there and shushing her and such but that pissed her off more so we had to go back to hard core sleep training. Took less then 2 nights.

The only thing I did was in the day spend a lot of time with her, and initially using my leave (i do 12 hours shifts so wasn't always back for bedtime and never see her in morning b4 work) to come home to be able to spend an hour with her before bed. She was really clingy too. So I would just reassure and be there for her, and keep muttering to myself it's a phase while she climbed all over me, or clinged to me all day.

My lo took about 6 to 8 weeks to settle down.

Our DS does this too and he’s just turned 4 months as well but nothings changed circumstance wise. I don’t know if they’ve started dreaming maybe and it’s a little confusing or the worlds just so exciting they don’t want to sleep.

He cries when he wakes up though and needs a cuddle. It’s so upsetting poor bean xxx

@ChittyBang1987 thankfully she is still sleeping through although we are having quite a few 5am starts (could be the heat though!).

@NuffSaidSam Unfortunately she has changed so much since we did sleep training that what worked then isn’t working now. I.e. us going in and out just upsets her more! Yesterday I held her for naps to give us both a break but it wasn’t great as she only had short ones. So today we let her cry and both times she settled down within 5mins and had great naps, so might just have to do that. I cried too, it’s horrible but just keep telling myself she needs her sleep.

@xxcatcatcatxx you might want to look at some threads on the 4 month sleep regression. You may need to gently help them get used to going to sleep with less help over time, and ensure their routine is age appropriate, and you should see less waking up crying once you make a few changes 😊