Being made to feel bad for co sleeping 😭

[SunnySide1992]

Morning,
So my daughter is 7 months old, has never been a good sleeper! At 5 months old she got covid and then chicken pox and since then has co slept as that was the only way anyone would get any sleep. I've tried her in her cot but she just won't sleep. I'm quite happy co sleeping but I keep getting people tell me it's a bad habit, I need to just let her cry it out, she will become way too attatched to me. Am I doing a bad thing here?
she's also exclusively breastfed.

You are behaving normally and naturally honestly please understand I mean this in the kindest way possible.....but you have got to develop a thick skin and learn to ignore ignore ignore....everyone will have an opinion on the way you mother your child. All that actually matters is you and your baby are happy with how you do things.

Take absolutely no notice. You'll notice that many people feel it necessary to tell you their opinion on how you should be parenting. This doesn't end.

I breastfed and co-slept and mine are big strapping independent teens with no sleep issues (other than perhaps struggling to get up in the morning sometimes).

Do what works for you - there really are no rules, despite what some may tell you.

It really isn’t anyone else’s business, I wouldn’t bring it up apart from sympathetic friends.

A lot of people get weirdly invested in other people's parenting. You can feel free to take no notice.

If what you are doing is working for you and your baby, that's great! you don't need to change anything.

If at some point it stops working for you and your baby, that's the time to try something new.

They are wrong, get all the sleep you can.

We spent first 7 months co-sleeping as it was the only way our very refluxy baby would sleep for more than 30 mins at a time. Sleep
Is important and if that's what works for you do it. They are not going to still be sleeping with you when they are 18 so the rest is just what timings work for you. Our son is now 9 and is a lovely but still pretty cuddly boy. he does occasionally ask us to sleep with him, which is kinda sweet and I'm sure I'll miss it when he stops.

Ignore. All of ours co-slept for at least some of the time, finally moved to own rooms permanently around age four, though that’s a different debate entirely! Do what works best for you all.

Just make sure you are taking all of the safety precautions (safe sleep 7) and the risk for a 7 month old is extremely small. If it is working for you then ignore others' opinions.

In my experience from the moment you get pregnant, everyone will find something to criticise you for no matter what you do.

Ignore them!

Just carry on. If people criticise, don't engage with them. Just tell them babies are supposed to become attached to their parents and babies who feel secure and that their needs are being met grow up to be more confident and independent adults. Then don't engage in any further discussion with them.
She is your baby and you need to go what is best for her and for you.

Do what's right for you. People will always give 'advice'. I co-sleep with my 2 year old and 5 year old. It's the way we all get the most sleep.
DD5 is not clingy and needy, she's very independent, happy and secure. She's settled into school beautifully and I think that's because she has a connection with me all night, so still gets her mummy time.
She has a lovely bunk bed in her room when she's ready to sleep on her own, but she chooses to sleep with me and her sister.
Enjoy the cuddles.

Some people just don't know how to keep options to themselves sometimes

If you are getting a better sleep with dd in the bed then do that. The people passing judgment aren't the ones being woken up to settle an unhappy baby in her crib. When they do the wake ups then they can have an opinion

Broken sleep is infuriating esp when it's dragging on to the 7/8/9mo mark. Ds is 9mo. He's been officially in the bed for 4wk and it's been the best month of sleep I've ever had. Do what works for you x

It’s so frustrating others feel they have a right to comment especially as you’ve said you and baby are both happy with cosleeping and presumably you’re following the lullaby trust safe sleep guidelines.
You can’t be too attached to your baby, children become secure and independent from having that close attachment to their main care giver. Keep doing what feels right to you.
Maybe try and find an online community who has the same parenting ethos so you have a bit of validation and positivity over your choices- uk cosleeping Facebook and Lyndsey Hookway on Instagram worth a look.

Thankyou for all the lovely positive responses! It's really made me feel better, atleast it did until I posted another post about how she will only nap on me during the day and normally falls asleep via boob. I was just asking for advice from when my mum will look after her when I go back to work.

The responses I got were .....
sort my issues out now
She shouldnt nap on me
I'm setting up bad habits
She's too attactched to me
She will cry all day without me
😭😭😭😭

Mine only contact napped and managed to sleep at nursery. Could your mum rock lo and contact nap herself? That's what they do at our nursery for some children when they're settling, I've seen it. They progress them to patting to sleep on a floor bed.

Also don't worry my ds doesn't contact nap anymore. He's now pushed round the block and brought back inside. The breastfeeding to sleep just stopped working in the day.

Stop discussing it with people. I just lied to people who I knew would be opposed.

When my dad left, at about 5 years old, I moved in with mum and stayed there until I went to high school. You do what you want.

OP, you are perfectly right. You are doing exactly the right thing for you and your baby. You carry on as you think fit, and let the others leave their poor babies all alone.

I get this too. The people who say these things though had their babies 20-30 years ago, when you moved baby into their own room a lot sooner. We are advised now to do this at 6 months - so of course they are going to be more attached. Sometimes I can get my son to sleep in his crib, but usually only for a couple hours, the rest of the night he co-sleeps.

I co-slept from 6 months. I also had people asking me when i was going to stop, said i was making a rod for my own back blah blah. It was the best thing for us and DC moved into own bed when ready. I have fond memories of it and wish i'd just enjoyed it rather than thinking i was doing the wrong thing. There was a lovely thread on co-sleeping ages ago, but i can find it now. Could have been on nethuns

Ignore these people! They clearly know nothing about child development or baby biology. Nature intended our babies to sleep close to us, babies are MEANT to be dependent, and close and secure attachment fosters genuine independence when they’re ready, which won’t be for years. Keep following your instincts.

You’re doing what works for you, and your family. Sod what anyone else thinks.
I co-slept with all of my babies from birth. My youngest will be 3 soon and has never spent more than a couple of hours in her own bed.
She won’t still be sleeping with me when she’s 15!

I would try not to worry about how your little one will settle for others when you return to work, other care givers will find their own methods and they will settle into their own routine.
If you’re receiving a lot of negativity maybe limit the information you share with others and know that there are people out there who do things just as you do, there’s nothing wrong with it, in fact breastfeeding and co-sleeping are the biological norm, feel lucky that you’ve been able to enjoy and experience that with your child.

Ignore them!!! You do what’s best for you and your baby!
I’m in the same boat as you, my 6 month old is a rubbish sleeper and now completely refuses to sleep in her cot…but if she’s in my bed she will sleep and occasionally roll to me for boob and roll back to sleep 😂
im so glad I’ve actually seen another mum that does the same!

sleep really is important for you and your baby.
take care and don’t worry what people think (I know it’s easier said than done)
xx