15 month old not sleeping in own cot

[emetophobe12]

DS was a good sleeper from 7 weeks old. Sleeping through religiously which was AMAZING. Until teething hit at around 7 months old. He would be very up and down with sleep. Sometimes would sleep through but most times would wake in the night.

But now we've built a rod for our own back 😬

We put him down to sleep at 8, we get in bed between 9-10 and just as we drift off he wakes up. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.
We have tried shushing, cuddling, rubbing his back, patting his bum, white noise but nothing works. He just cries hysterically for us to pick him up. Like proper screams as if he's being murdered. The only thing that settles him is bringing him into our bed. Since I started back at work with 5am wake ups to get ready and leave the house for 6am, when DS wakes in the night we just end up bringing him into our bed to get some sleep because we are just so so tired. Most times we get him back to sleep in our bed and then put him back down but I can guarantee an hour or 2 later he will wake up and do the same thing again. DH & I both have jobs that require full attention and could be very dangerous if we are tired which is the reason why we do this.

We have tried giving him a pillow, blanket, soft toys, comforters. The pillow worked for 2 days. But now has gone back to waking. He is AMAZING for naps though. I just put him in his cot with a blanket and he's asleep within 10 minutes with no crying or fuss and will nap for 2 hours. I have tried waking him after 1 hour, 1.5 hours. Made no difference (he only has 1 nap now - if he has 2 then bed time is a nightmare and doesn't get to sleep until midnight).

Help please! We know exactly where we've gone wrong to begin with so don't need digs please. Just some advice on how we can help him get out of this.

Or I'm not sure whether to just wait until he's older and can understand a bit more. Having him sleep with us isn't that much of a big deal for us. As long as we get a few hours sleep a night and he's safe then we're ok with that but obviously ideally would love for him to sleep in his own cot.

Anyone?

Honestly I just coslept with mine in the end and we all got loads of sleep and no tears. I could weep thinking about the wasted hours trying to settle her in cot, us both in tears and knackered.

She's 3 now and sleeps in her own bed but does appear in night generally or first thing in morning and climb in with us. but we are fine with that. It's just a personal thing really. I always go the path of whatever gets most sleep with the least upset.

My 11 month old is exactly the same. Repeatedly wakes for no apparent reason in the cot but sleeps fine as long as she’s in my bed. I’ve tried everything as well!
I read something on the Dr Sears website about high needs babies, needing parents close by to sleep and it made sense. Maybe your son is the same?
Sorry I don’t have any advice for you, but you’re not alone!

@Hugasauras this is exactly my line of thinking. And I keep telling myself that this isn't for forever and I'm probably going to regret trying to push him to sleep on his own when he's old enough to not WANT to sleep in bed with us. So yeah a part of me just wants to leave it be for now and avoid the battles

@PineappleEye thank you! So reassuring to hear we're not the only ones. Both of his cousins were sleeping through from a young age and it just makes me feel rubbish (or at least feel like I look rubbish) when we discuss sleep with their mums. Think I'm just going to embrace the cuddles and the fact that he wants his mama/daddy for now

@PineappleEye sorry forgot to respond about the Dr Sears thing.. I haven't come across that but will Google it now. Thanks!

Have you tried a toddler bed? Mine all went into one between 14 & 16 months. Fantastic, you can lie down with them then easily sneak away! Mine all slept more soundly when out of a cot too - not sure why

I had this exact same situation with DS. Unlike you, him being in bed with me was the opposite of restful for anyone. We did CIO, it was shocking for one night but then it was sorted, has slept brilliantly since.

@ChilleyCheesecake we have a cot bed that turns into a toddler bed. I'm just scared he will fall out because he rolls around so much alllll night. When he was in between us he actually rolled right over me lying on my side once. Luckily I was awake and managed to grab him quickly!

@Julystheme hats off to you! I would 100% cave after 30 mins. How long did it take for you?

Once we’d decided it needed to be done it only took one night but we had months of poor sleep and I was quite depressed as a result.

2 of mine slept better in with me/us and we just carried on until they stopped.Middle child never slept in but was clambering out of cot at 15/16 months after which he slept in a normal double bed with his sister.

Many toddlers wriggle. :) We have a toddlerbed with a little rail, you can buy seperate bed guards. If he falls out the first night, I bet he won't the second!

So the adults get to sleep together but when the baby wants to sleep with someone it's a problem? I never understand that logic. Keep him in with you if he needs it and everyone get some sleep.

Have you tried taking the side off the cot? Mine did this for a brief period. Once off worked out they'd get out of bed.. find an alternative but happier sleeping place and sleep there (blanket on floor quite often) I think they don't like being restrained and alone maybe - who knows I'm not a toddler 😂