DH twitching at night makes me so angry!!!! Can’t sleep!

[MrsTeaShore]

Has anyone got any tips for coping with a DH who twitches all night in his sleep? It keeps me awake,, makes me so angry that I can’t sleep and then I get debilitating migraines through not sleeping well. The only thing that helps is going to a different room but I want to try and make it work. I think part of the problem, or even most of it, is how cross I get at not sleeping and then I can’t escape his twitching and snoring so I just lie in bed feeling really irate and by that point I’m wide awake and way off being able to sleep ! Then it’s a vicious circle. Any tips much appreciated. Willing to try anything ! Apart from LTB or separate rooms 😀

Ooooh no help sorry but following with interest. Mine is a twitcher too!

How about a bigger bed? One of those 2 attached singles. You could unzip him if he annoys you

@Battista makes me feel better that I am not the only one! Aaaaagh

Mine is a snorer and a twitcher. Turns out he has sleep apnea. The twitching is when he is trying to breath in but can't. He now wears a mask at night, no more snoring or twitching. The mask is like a low white noise so easy to sleep with.

Twin beds and ear plugs?
Huge super king bed with a bolster down the middle?
Noise cancelling head phones?
Failing that, do you know an Anaesthetists ?!!

Tonight he's asleep and I'm awake because I'm too hot 🙄

@Isausernameavailable thanks, yes I have googled them, might need to try that. He snores too so I give him a nudge in the bum or ribs and that normally helps for a bit! I feel bad for getting so cross when maybe he can’t help it but sleep is so precious and then when you know you’re going to be so tired and headachey the next day it’s just the worst 🥲

@LuckyLuckyWoman gosh really, that might be it ! Where did you get the mask from ? Sounds amazing, like it could be the answer to my prayers! And yes it’s sooo hot tonight so that’s not helping either.

He went to the Dr who referred him to the sleep clinic at the hospital.

I'd get him to see gp, my brother has sleep apnoea and now has a cpap machine and it's saved his marriage and improved his health enormously

I do use ear plugs but I think I need industrial strength ones , I might give the headphones a go and then try an anaesthetist after that !

Sleep is vital. I honestly don't understand why anyone who has an option of a separate room away from the snorer/twitcher would choose to stay in the same bed every night at the expense of their own mental and physical health.

Separate beds/rooms do not mean your marriage is failing or their won't be any intimacy.

Thanks, will broach the subject in the morning . He usually gets defensive when I raise the sibject and says i must be a light sleeper🙄

I know, I agree. I did spent a couple of years sleeping mostly in another room but it just felt a bit temporary like I wasn’t even in my own home iykwim. Like why should I have to go to the spare room and not be in the nice comfy bed 😞 . It started to get me down after a while . So not sure what’s worse 😞 .

But even if you're a light sleeper you still need to sleep and he needs to be part of the solution

Could you redecorate the spare room and get a new very comfy bed for yourself?

If he isn't prepared to admit he has a problem and get help knowing how distressing it is for you, then he has no respect for you and should fuck off to the spare room himself.

@MrsTeaShore
I've been there, OP. DH twitched his legs every 15 seconds.
He got tested for sleep apnea and turns out he sometimes could stop breathing around 100 times an hour.
To get him to go to the GP, I recorded him on my phone...no denying it then...plus, it was extremely unhealthy for him to stop breathing like that.
He has a bi-pap machine...works a treat... it isnt as bulky as the CPap. ...When he first started wearing it he was so silent I thought he had suffocated. What a relief that he was blissfully sleeping away with not a peep or twitchy moment all night....now, if only I hadn't started snoring

Separate rooms. I love my sleep too much.

Interesting, sounds similar to PP. I had never thought of sleep apnea! His twitching is every 30-40 seconds or do. Thanks so much, really helpful to hear your experience 🙏

@MrsTeaShore You're welcome!
It was quite scary to watch...I could see his chest rise, but could tell no air was getting through. Then he'd move his legs back and forth and start breathing again.
He must have felt like he was drowning and was struggling to paddle his feet so he could get to the surface to breathe😭

I also suggest seeking medical help if you are able to. My parents were complaining of a similar situation, turns out there was something underlying it.