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8 month old terrible sleeper. Help!

19 replies

Booklover2021 · 10/07/2022 06:36

I've posted before about my DS not being the best sleeper. We've never really cracked it with him in terms of sleeping through (unless he's at his grandparents 🙄). He's teething at the moment and lately is taking longer naps of 1 to 2 hours. A typical day is up at 6am, 1st nap 8am (his wake window is usually 2 hours on the dot). Usually he has another nap in the afternoon and maybe a cat nap around 4. He can self settle, he does it for naps and has done it before at night but the last week, bed time has been HELL. We've tried 2 hours after his last nap when he shows tired cues but he will scream bloody murder for a good hour (we don't leave him to CIO FYI). He may then settle maybe for 2 to 3 hours but after that it's hourly. Last night we thought we'd go the other way and stretch out the evening so he went to.sleep at 8, went down well but then decided to do the screaming at 12am. I caved and Co slept which got us both about 3.5 hours. However he's been up since 5am and refused to go back to sleep.

Any advice? I'm back at work tomorrow and the lack of sleep is causing me to spend most evenings and mornings just sobbing.

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thelittlestbird · 10/07/2022 06:59

We've had similar and moved cold turkey to two naps which has helped the evening meltdowns.

Our schedule FYI-
Wake up 7
Nap 9-10.30
Nap 2-3.30
Bedtime- 7

Booklover2021 · 10/07/2022 07:00

I did say to my OH yesterday maybe we need to try 2 naps now. I'll give this a go and hope for the best! Thank you

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EvergreenForest · 10/07/2022 07:21

If this trouble getting to sleep is recent (I know you said he's not been the best sleeper) then it could be the 8 month sleep regression.

My DS used to have a bumpy week or two when he hit these regressions and then it was like a switch had been flicked and he'd go back to normal

Does he usually need a decent amount of sleep to be content? He might struggle with just two naps if he has 2 hour wake windows?

Sorry, not sure if that's helpful!

ChittyBang1987 · 10/07/2022 08:02

Is 2 hours awake time all day? So nap at 8am till 10am then back down at 12pm?

At 8 months i was doing approx
930am till 11am
2pm/215pm till 330pm/4pm
730pm till 8pm asleep. 8pm asleep if woke from nap at 4pm.

So similar to 234 routine I suppose. But my lo was more 2.5 in mornings.

RandomQuest · 10/07/2022 08:12

Roughly sticking to the 2,3,4 schedule worked for mine at that age.
So with a wake time of 6am it would be:
6am wake
8-9am nap 1
12-2pm nap 2
6pm bedtime

Don’t need to do religiously and but as a rough guide that’s what I’d aim for.

Booklover2021 · 10/07/2022 08:13

It's starting to get longer as the day goes on but morning is usually 2 hours. He's already woken up from his first nap...25 mins long 😣

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Nightmanagerfan · 10/07/2022 08:14

My 8 month old is on two naps:

10-11:30
2/2:30-3 or 3:30

He goes to sleep at 7:15 until about 5:30 when I put him in with me to snooze til we get up at 6:30.

does your baby feed at night? Mine was up multiple times in the evening then at 1ish to feed until I stopped feeding overnight. He then slept through. You could move the feed back if so - eg I stopped the evening feeds and just fed at bedtime, then fed at 2am, then 3, then 4 etc, it’s now 5:30 and I’m trying to push it to 6 without much luck!

we did use a sleep consultant for some support but it didn’t involve leaving him alone to cry for long periods as I wouldn’t have done that

Booklover2021 · 10/07/2022 08:29

He has been feeding at night but this week he's wanted less milk (he's FF) and more just seems to fuss. Last night at 12 he would just scream until I picked him up which is why we ended up co sleeping. I feel like today is going to be a complete write off

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Booklover2021 · 11/07/2022 19:25

Quick update...less night feeds but its almost certainly separation anxiety. Any advice would be great. Trying gradual retreat atm but he just seems wired that I'm next to his bed.

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ChittyBang1987 · 11/07/2022 20:28

Have you tried walking away? And leaving for a few minutes? If I'm in the room my lo won't go sleep either

thelittlestbird · 11/07/2022 22:34

No chance my girl would sleep if I was in the room or doing check ins.

Babyboomtastic · 11/07/2022 23:36

If he's FF and you are going back to work (or even if not), I assume that you are either sharing the nights equally or alternating them?

Fupoffyagrasshole · 11/07/2022 23:41

Honestly just let him cry a little bit! Longest I ever let my daughter cry at that age was maybe 10 minutes then I’d go back in and repeat - eventually she went to sleep - and literally by night 2 she was crying for 10 mins and going asleep and then 5 mins etc she started sleeping through to 3am and then I’d get up feed her and put her back until 7!

she didn’t start sleeping through until 13 months though.

I don’t know how easy it is to teach a child to self settle without a little bit of crying tbh

Booklover2021 · 12/07/2022 07:10

Yeah I used ferber method before (loosely) and it worked a treat. I thought of gradual retreat just because the screaming when I leave the room is upsetting but maybe I need to woman up a bit! I'm back 2 days a week so OH is helping on the nights I'm working.

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Babyboomtastic · 12/07/2022 07:28

Booklover2021 · 12/07/2022 07:10

Yeah I used ferber method before (loosely) and it worked a treat. I thought of gradual retreat just because the screaming when I leave the room is upsetting but maybe I need to woman up a bit! I'm back 2 days a week so OH is helping on the nights I'm working.

"helping on the nights I'm working"

So he hasn't been skiing then regularly until now?
He's not doing weekend nights?
He's only 'helping' on those nights, not even fully doing them

It sounds like you have a partner problem more than a baby sleep one. If you were sharing the waking (not just him occasionally helping as if he's some kind of babysitter), then both of you would be tired but neither of you would be exhausted.

Babyboomtastic · 12/07/2022 07:29

Doing then regularly, not skiing...

Thanks autocorrect

Booklover2021 · 12/07/2022 12:54

Sorry I didn't write very clearly. He does loads already but on my days off I get up in the night.

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Babyboomtastic · 12/07/2022 13:16

No, you are perfectly clear. He is able to do the night feeds and wakes, he sees how exhausted you are, he still expects you to do then because it's your "day off ' (aka parenting).

It doesn't matter if he does loads in the day, he's watching you sob with exhaustion daily and then going and having a decent night sleep.

Partner problem not a baby problem.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 12/07/2022 13:22

i slipped back into bad habits after I went away for a long weekend and I started holding her to sleep again because she was pretty clingy after me being gone

but started again 2 nights ago giving her a cuddle for a few mins then I put her in cot, pat her head a bit and then just say goodnight love you and leave - she stands up and cries for a few mins then she sits down plays with her rabbit and then lies down and goes to sleep.

it’s definitely worth a shot

i got my husband to do it the first few times as I couldn’t deal with the crying - he was able to persevere with it more than me

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