Baby sleeps all day and is completely awake at night

[TiredMommy93]

My son is 2 months old tomorrow and he is sleeping all day (at least 9 hours with 2 feedings) and is wide awake all night. Do you have any tips how I can fix his sleep pattern? Or maybe you also have some tips for night time routines and how to get babies to sleep well in general.

@LGBirmingham oh do we? I usually glance over the comments. I don't tend to look at username. Sorry. I wonder if we give similar advise? Yes the baby age sucked. My lo is 16 months now, and so much easier. I rather like you have the tantrum of having to go inside from garden or getting out the bath as she wants to stay in longer then half an hour any day. The crying, the short sleeps, sleep deprivation were the worse for me. Though I would like another one...... but she has slightly put me off 😆 😆

I'm the same and try and reassure as it does get better, but at the time you just see the dark tunnel of gloom and doom.

When will it end? I think I have PPD. I hate being around my baby even though I know I love him. I just hate the situation with no sleep. My life is completely on hold and he is so boring! I know this won't stay forever. Some say 12 weeks it gets better as they become more interactive, smile more and outgrow colic.
I so so so hope you guys are right. He is 9 weeks tonight and I beg for things to get easier. I had almost no sleep today. The sleep is pretty much the only issue that makes me wanna die right now because I can't cope anymore. My DH doesn't help much either. He just does the bare minimum since he returned to work. OF COURSE. Men are just like that.

Just repeat the Mantra it is a phase. At this age literally I went out every single day. Visiting relatives, friends anyone. Shopping. Going out anything. It helped me, fresh air and sun always helped me feel better. Maybe pop along to ur drs? Do you have relatives or friends near by? They are your best friends now, visit someone every single day.

I do see some men are good. Some men, aren't. Mine isn't most the time tbh. It's pick and choose and as my friend says its alright for them they just leave as they want. The women can't and always falls for them to be responsible - but tbh im in a mood with my partner (that's another story in itself) atm so may change tomorrow 😆

hubby does nights right? What time does he work on nights? Is it 12 hours or a 11 till 7pm kind of thing? I would be setting some time whereby he cooks dinner and has lo for set amount of hours. In the early days I told him he was having first part of the night, he doesn't need much sleep. I still need 6 hours straight at least or I'm a mess, even now im asleep by 10pm. Most nights I was asleep by 730pm in the early days, but it helped.

I agree, get out every day, it'll help with the difference between night and day as well as good for your MH.

You've had 2 months of completely back to front sleep routine, not just disturbed nights. Once you get that cracked it'll help no end because your baby sounds a pretty good sleeper - just at the wrong part of the day 🙄🤣

You need sleep, it's pretty normal to hate something that keeps you up all night and stops you sleeping while loving them with all your heart at the same time.

It honestly gets better x

I would agree with PP that you need to build in time EVERY day when your partner takes over. If he's home at 7am he gets baby up and ready for day and looks after him for couple of hours to let you sleep in. Or he does the evening before he goes to work and you have a nap then.
And on the nights he's not working he shares the night.

And get out every day to, visit friends or family, go for walks, any local parent and baby group, take him swimming.

I know it's no consolation at moment but by 5 or 6 months most babies are in a really good routine.

My DD slept midnight till noon till she was 2. She’s now 11 and fairly well adjusted to school hours etc despite being one of a family of vampires.

DH worked away for all but 36 hours a week, so it was just me. The pattern suited me (although I was the only one taking a fast asleep baby to all the morning-only baby classes) and I napped when she napped during the day.

With no help are you prioritising your rest, OP?

I guess you are right. He is a good sleeper. Just at the wrong time. And I'm mentally completely exhausted and anxious all day since my partner returned to work. I wish he could have stayed home a bit longer. This truly feels never ending.

Right, he sleeps for nine hours in the day? Get yourself back into bed when he's asleep in the day time then. Fuck dishes and housework. I had two in two years and had to let everything go to shit because as soon as the baby was asleep I had to deal with the toddler. You do the bare minimum to survive and let your standards slide.

You may have a couple of tough days to adjust but introduce a flexible routine. I'd start by if he falls asleep sometime in the early morning after being awake a lot at night, wake him up at 8am and start the day. The baby will probably be grumpy but you have to persevere with it. Has he a baby gym or a bouncer to sit and play things?

How have you and baby been this evening?

Reverse cycling is very normal OP but you can do something about it.

Get them up at 7am feed, change and straight out into the garden. Show them things and walk around for a while. Daylight has been proven to improve night sleep.

Wake them every 3 hours in the day for a feed. Have a read of this on feeding sleepy babies it's aimed at BFing Muns but does have some good tips on trying to keep them awake for a feed.

Like others have said. Keep things noisy and bright in the day, go out, go to groups, shops, cafes and keep offering those feeds.

Sleep massively improved for us at 10 weeks. We'd got the reflux medicated by then and also sorted day time sleep by following wake windows which meant baby was happier during the day.

Although we got the 4 month regression early at 13 weeks. And his reflux also got worse again. But don't worry about that now, just go one day at a time. As I say reflux totally disappeared as if by magic at 5 months. What I here collic is usually gone by 12 weeks.

Also who wouldn't hate being around a baby who cries for hours on end despite all your efforts to sooth them!? You may well have pnd, please get checked, but you could just be in a really f**in' difficult situation. I know for me any pnd/pna symptoms also magically disappeared as soon as the reflux did. The crying will stop I promise and all the love you're putting in now won't have gone unheard and you'll have a really strong bond with your little one.

Does DH know how much your struggling? He might need a nudge to realise he has git to step up? At this stage mine was taking ds with a bottle til about 11pm so I could get to bed early in the spare room. Then he'd have him again for a couple of hours in the morning so I could get a bit more sleep then too. It didn't effect my breastfeeding at all, I'm still doing it now.

God I really should have read the thread before posting.

Definite get your DH to have him for some time during the day. What time does he get home from work?

Definitely get yourself back to bed in the day. You'll find it much easier to tackle the Reverse Cycling if you've had a couple of days of good sleep.

Have a think about ringing the Pandas Foundation tonight to talk through how you're feeling. I think they're open until 11pm.

How have things been today so far and how are you feeling?

Do not give your partner that excuse. That is utter BS. DH would take DS after dinner after work for a few hours and an hour or two in the morning so I could have some proper sleep. Night shifts do not excuse your partner from being a parent.

How are things tonight @Harrysmummy246?

I am sorry you are having to go through this, it sounds utterly hellish. My baby is only 9 weeks too but in my experience and that of many people I know with babies, a baby crying for 8 hours solid is not normal. Has your baby been checked for silent reflux, CMPA? My baby has both these and while things aren't perfect (and I'm lucky that he is mostly great at night) a change of forumla and medication has really helped us. If you aren't satisfied with your GP, seek another medical opinion. Infacol from what I gather can make reflux worse.

And I know a lot of people say babies are too young for a routine but we have found putting a vague routine in place has helped us. Ensuring the room is dark, bath, massage, feed and music had also helped. Separating night and day has also helped. Getting out and about too has helped and going to baby groups etc. Meeting people in the same situation is a life saver. I also did a lot of reading into sleep cycles for babies which has helped my understanding too. I'm just throwing things out there, I really hope things settle for you soon.

I have a similar routine at night. Bath, massage, feed, sleep. Today he slept two three hour stretches at night. It saved my sanity. I think our routine helped him relax. I put him in bed and didn't even have to settle him. It also helped with the day and night confusion. He does refuse to eat recently though. And seems to be in pain during and after feeds.

I am glad you got some sleep. Please phone your health visitor/GP today and explain to them what you have told us. I'm no medial expert but my own DS had pain when feeding and was refusing feed and it ended up being silent reflux and suspected cows milk allergy. Prescription formula and medication have helped us but took a while to find a balance. Other things that have helped are:

• Feeding position. Look up feeding positions for reflux. My DS is bottle fed and I feed him at home sat almost bolt upright against a pillow. Keeping them upright helps after a feed helps too.

• Placing a thick book to elevate the moses basket end helped too. Not too much but at a 25% degree angle and I was told that that this was still within safe sleeping guidance.

• Are you breast or bottle feeding? If bottle feeding and it isn't an allergy, using a thicker formula can help the milk stay down. I know people that have had success using a comfort or anti reflux formula but also those that switched to kendamil or hipp organic. Again trial and error as every baby is different.

• Cranial osteopathy and chriopractor can also help too. There will be those that will say it's a waste of time but I think when you're desperate I think any help is beneficial.

• Where is your partner in all this? If they live with you they need to be sharing the load. My partner works two jobs but we still share night wakes (or did, my DS only gets up once a night now usually). On the weekend, we will take it in turns to have a lie in which helps too.

Of course as people say it will pass but however in the meantime there are things that can be done. Please keep on at your GP/health visitor.

Also getting outside as much as possible and fresh air helps too. I read that getting outside helps babies circadian rhythm and increases their melatonin which helps them sleep better at night.

Probably obvious but you are winding, aren't you, for a good long while?

Thank you for your awesome comment. The pediatrician said I overfed him and thinks that is the reason why he feels unwell. I go outside with him every day shortly after we wake up to make sure he gets some exposure to sunlight. I'm trying my very best. My boyfriend says he's too tired to take the baby. If I'm lucky he takes the baby for 2 hours after work and hands him right back to me once he starts screaming and he can't continue his video game. When I told him yesterday that I'm completely burned out he said "sucks to be you. You must be doing something wrong." He's the one who always knows better... But when I told my pediatrician she said that I shouldnt scare him off even if he's useless because I need him. If I don't get any help soon I'll break down for real. I fantasize about running away daily. My stress levels are at max. levels. I only survive because I got some sleep tonight. Otherwise my heart probably would just have stopped beating and I'd dropped dead. No joke. I'm That exhausted. And my boyfriend believes he has to start a fight with me over everything. Sometimes I'd rather die but I love my baby. What are my options? I also notice that he stays at work later so he doesn't have to come right home to help me.--

'When I told him yesterday that I'm completely burned out he said "sucks to be you. You must be doing something wrong." '

This is utterly appalling. Can you get away from this disgusting excuse for a partner?

Hard to over feed a baby that young, they take what they need.

I have no words, that's appalling from your partner.

@TiredMommy93 so sorry to see your latest post. You just need someone to take baby for a few hours so you can rest. That is awful behaviour from your partner. You are in a really tough, common but tough, situation. Everyone I know with newborns who were like this found some way to split the load so both members of the partnership could get a bit of rest. I'm so sorry your partner is like this. You really deserve more support.

Like@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor I've never heard of over feeding a newborn either. Are you in a different country? In the UK we only see a pediatrician if we're reffered to one by a gp for specialist treatment. In the UK we're advised to feed on demand and follow baby's lead. It all sounds odd advice from your doctor to me.

Also you are not doing anything wrong! Please don't let your partner make you think that you are. Lots of babies are like this. Some of them aren't and those parents can be very smug, but really it isn't anything they did they were just lucky.

Anecdotally most of the more sleepy newborns I knew turned out to be very slow with their physical milestones. Like 7 months later at walking than my ds for instance.