How to get 4.5 month old to sleep- fine once asleep

[AluckyEllie]

Hello,

Please help me 😂. My 4.5 month old doesn’t seem to know how to go to sleep, but once down will sleep the whole night (usually.) I see lots of threads about similar ages waking frequently but that isn’t our problem- it’s the initial getting off to sleep that is driving me insane and making me so frustrated/furious.

She will clearly be tired (staring off into space/rubbing eyes/pulling ears) and so we’ll start bedtime routine - bath/story/feed. She just won’t drift off! We’ve tried putting her down ‘drowsy but awake,’ we’ve tried rocking to sleep, walking around, white noise, no white noise. We’ve tried leaving bedtime later and also earlier. She either gets so worked up screaming she finally drops off exhausted or sometimes will feed to sleep when I put her on the boob just to get some peace. If we lie her down drowsy she will lie there happily for ten mins or so and then get bored and fidgety- escalating to crying and then screaming. The same will happen if we don’t lie her down and walk around with her etc. Once asleep she will normally sleep through until 6- but last night for example she didn’t go to sleep till 10:30 despite us starting at 7:30. It’s making me physically dread the evenings and the monotony of it, and I find myself getting wound up.

Any tips on helping her drift off?

If feed to sleep works and she then sleeps well at night, why don’t you do that?

It doesn’t always work which is a problem and only usually works when she’s been crying a while and has got properly exhausted. I’m hoping it’s just a phase, I would love to have some free time in the evening but maybe that’s a pipe dream 😬

How are her naps during the day? Sounds like she may be over-tired.
Sleeping through until 6 at that age is very unusual - both mine were still fed at least 4 hourly at that age. When is she feeding though the day?
Are you staying with her if you are trying to get her down at 7.30pm - babies shouldn't be left alone to sleep until 6 months under SIDS guidelines.

Her naps during the day are hit and miss. We aim for 3, normally 9:30, 1 and 4. The 1pm one is the hardest to get her down for, the other two she tends to fall asleep after a feed. She feeds very well in the day, around every 3 hours and I’ve been lucky to not struggle with breastfeeding or supply issues. Do you think I should wake her for a feed? She’s gaining weight and lots of wet nappies etc. We do stay with her if she does go down, normally I’ll go to sleep early or read on my kindle.

I’ll concentrate on the day naps then. I’m looking forward to next week when we are on holiday so lots of people to help out. Think I’m just struggling a bit at the moment with the constant changing. This too will pass!