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Original poster

Cry It Out for 19 Month Old?

15 replies

QS90 · 05/07/2022 23:43

Does anyone have any experience or advice about this?

I co-slept with my toddler until about 6 weeks ago, whereupon I moved him into his own cot in his own room at night (he had been napping there previously with no issue). For the last six weeks, either me or my partner have slept in the nursery with him, on the world's most uncomfortable camp bed. Would have carried on with this for longer, but last night at 11pm, he woke up SCREAMING and wouldn't be settled. Was OH's night to be with him, and as he is soft, took him downstairs to watch Peppa Pig until 3am 🙄 Tonight he woke up at 10:30pm, demanding to be taken downstairs. I did all the firm "Lie down and go to sleep" stuff, to no avail. He wasn't ill or thirsty or anything. Eventually I just let him scream for an hour until he went down. Not sure what the rest of the night will have in store! He has always had a very willful and bossy temperament which I think plays into it. Am I doing the right thing? Is there a better way that doesn't involve him getting upset, or do we need to rip the band aid off? I should say too I'm 14 weeks pregnant and OH about to start a new job in a month, so keen to get the issue sorted soon if possible.

Thanks for reading ❤

OP posts:
PermanentlyTired03 · 05/07/2022 23:50

Following as I'm in a similar situation! Such a strong willed child!

pimlicoanna · 05/07/2022 23:52

I really think it's cruel to do this. All you are doing is teaching them to give up hope of you coming in.

Original poster
QS90 · 05/07/2022 23:57

@pimlicoanna what would you do instead?

OP posts:
Original poster
QS90 · 05/07/2022 23:58

@PermanentlyTired03 Lol yes, I'm so proud he knows his own mind but also JUST WANT HIM TO SLEEP 😅

OP posts:
grace1989x · 06/07/2022 00:07

Let him cry it out, I've done this with my first when she was 1 year 2 months with second 8 months. It's hard but worth it for all of you, growing children need as much sleep as possible. It'll be tough for the first 4 to 5 days but I found once you get past day 3 they realise this is the new normal and the fussing reduces dramatically

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/07/2022 00:08

You'd essentially be punishing the toddler for your OH being a numpty. I'd be livid.

SarahWoodruff · 06/07/2022 00:11

There is a vast difference between doing this with a 6 month old baby and doing it with a toddler who can understand that you haven't disappeared forever. I honestly wouldn't think twice about doing it at this age. Totally reasonable. You have already done so much to foster a secure attachment, you're not exactly in Romanian orphanage territory.

grace1989x · 06/07/2022 00:12

Also to add I had a monitor in the room so you can see them so you don't feel as guilty hearing them cry. First two days I would go in if it was getting too much, pat them kiss them but not pick them up and say goodnight again and leave.

The main thing to remember you want them to learn to self soothe, they'll find what works for them.

Also get some black out curtains or this:

Tommee Tippee Sleeptime Portable Blackout Blind with Suction Cups, Adjustable and Lightweight, Large, 130 x 198cm amzn.eu/d/csX1f7I

It's a life saver especially in summer. They fall asleep so much quicker when it's dark

Original poster
QS90 · 06/07/2022 00:13

Thanks @grace1989x It's reassuring to hear it can be as few days as that. I agree about children needing their sleep - I was at work today but was very aware that when I came home, toddler was much angrier than usual. When he's up all night, he still wakes at 6am and has the same nap, so sleep is never caught up 😕

OP posts:
Original poster
QS90 · 06/07/2022 00:15

@MrsTerryPratchett I did think that. If I fell out with him about every well meaning but unhelpful thing he did we'd split up though lol.

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pimlicoanna · 06/07/2022 00:42

@QS90 what I do is stay on the room with them until they fall asleep. It's not a big ask.

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/07/2022 02:22

If I fell out with him about every well meaning but unhelpful thing he did we'd split up though lol.

Fair dos. Mines isn't perfect either!

Original poster
QS90 · 06/07/2022 08:19

@pimlicoanna I agree, this is what we had been doing until two nights ago, but since then he just wouldn't settle 😟My OH tried lying with him in nursery, taking him in the big bed with him, rocking him etc but no joy. I did try lying in the room with him last night too before cry it out, but because he wanted to get up and play, he just cried more when I went in. Think it got his hopes up for being allowed to come out he kept saying "Up!" or when I told him to lie down, then "No!". Can I ask how old your two are? Wondering if mine's more like this as heading to terrible twos...

OP posts:
Original poster
QS90 · 06/07/2022 08:21

@SarahWoodruff Lol thank-you :)

OP posts:
pamplemoussee · 06/07/2022 09:20

From what I remember there was abit of a dip in sleep at 18 months and it just naturally got better by 20months ish, then we had more reliable sleep from age 2

My little ones strong willed and I couldn't hack leaving him to cry I know full well it wouldn't have worked for either of us anyway and I'm glad I didn't do anything like that as it just changed naturally anyway

If you can ride it out why don't you cosleep for another month or two until he settles

Anyway just another opinion

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