Is there such a thing as a Sleep Specialist that would find out what my toddler's problem is???

[WindUpBird]

I have a 21 month dd who has always had sleep 'issues'. As a newborn she didn't sleep, just cried. As a baby she didn't nap in the day and was forever waking at night. Now as a toddler she still wakes at night and somehow we've got into the habit of bringing her into our bed. This doesn't annoy me too much if she falls asleep, but often she is wide awake and thrashing about. And seems to thrash about in her sleep too. A year ago I went to a health visitor who specialised in sleep problems. She basically said we were doing everything she would advise, but just to do controlled crying when dd woke at night. We tried twice. It was horrific and I am never doing that again. There must be another way to encourage a toddler to settle herself back to sleep in her own cot (soon to be bed)?
Basically my whinge is that I have not had more than 3 nights unbroken sleep in 21 months and I have another baby due in about 16 weeks. Have you any advice for me to crack the problem before the next baby arrives??
So sorry for the long post, I'm at the end of my tether with all this. Everyone I know in real life has children who sleep through from 7-7....

Some toddlers DO sleep like this. I'd advise reading some of the books on the subject (The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers by Pantley is quite good).

I would sort her out in a bed ASAP - you might have more chance of settling her down to sleep if you are comfortable and can lie down with her, and she might get used to sleeping in her own room. If she is a wriggling sleeper, you'll need a bedrail.

Thanks for the swift response! I do wonder if it's just the way she is and I should stop getting annoyed by it but I'm just so tired all the time! And, yes, I am in the process of getting her a bed (if only the correct one had been delivered she'd be in it by now). I'm sort of pinning all my hopes on the new bed being the solution, which is probably unwise. It does mean that there will be enough room in her bedroom to get her dressed and read her story which at the mo has to be done in our room.
I gave up reading parenting books after dd was born and everything I read seemed to suggest I'd done it all wrong so far. But I've heard other good things about the Pantley book, so I'll have a hunt for it.

WOW - Are you sure your not me!!!!

Take a look here and here

Ds was a brilliant sleeper until last october, ever since a nightmare!! He also comes into our bed and i've worried about this but this made me feel better

Sorry i cant give any advise, but your not alone... and isnt it down right unsociable!

Nip, thanks for those links, just having a read through them now...

Have you checked out the Millpond sleep clinic? I have tried their service myself but I did buy their book and found it really useful. Check out their website: www.mill-pond.co.uk/

my ds used to sleep well in his bed also until a night mare and we do see sleep therapist to help him settle again

has been helpful but we have put hold on it for now to deal with speech delay first

i find sitting with my back to him when settled in bed and ignoring him helps as he sees i'm there and is asleep within minutes ignore any attempts to get your attention

this was advised by sleep therapist you then start to try to move away further untill you then on 3rd or 4th week tell them to sleep and leave the room

i now can leave hall light on and ds will settle himself

will not sleep all night in his bed but now has a ready bed again advised by therapist to stop him getting used to sleeping in my bed with me he climbs in that when wakes in the night and sleeps through

good luck waiting for his single bed instead of his junior and then once rail is up i will be consistant as that is the key but i give in as i'm tired

but i realise now few days hard work i'll reap the rewards for sticking to it

best thing ignore only say ssshh go to sleep and then thats it good luck

When Im working with toddlers 18m+ who are having sleep problems I often use a technique called 'repetitive replacement' its an american idea which basically means when the lo wakes or gets out of bed you take them back, tuck them in, kiss them goodnight and go back to bed...(no other interaction is permitted, you have to ignore the yelling or the tantrum, if LO gets straight out of bed you have to get out of bed and put them straight back in!) in reality you WILL have to do it 50 times a night for a few nights (usually I crack it in about 3 nights, but thats what Im paid to be doing and am happy to be up all night doing it...so I guess its different for me) Its very hard work and very frustrating when you do it but actually works really really well.

Might be worth a try if you are really desperate.
You do have to be 100% consistent..however knackered you are!

Jenna

www.andreagrace.co.uk - we've used her and she's great.

my dd2 was just like this, really its horrid esp when you feel like they should be sleeping through. It got easier when I just accepted that she didnt. On a camping trip (of all things ) she dropped the mil feed (she also had a bottle in th night at around 3 - (really needed this, i tried watering it down and she wouldnt settle) i then decided she would not sleep in our bed anymore (usually from that 2 or 3 wake up she would be in our bed often taing a while to settle) so either i would let her sleep on a matress on the floor next to our bed or I think actually i put the mattress next to her bed and slept there insisting she stayed in her bed. finally at about 2 years and 2 months she starte sleeping through.

Really i have no real advice. Lots of sympathy. Try to get some rest - even if you need to go away for a few nights to recharge every now and again, it can really get on top of you(leaving child with dp if possible). maybe then you would have the strength to do some proper sleep training. its too hard when you are barely keeping it together. and the good news is that now some 4 months later I can barely remember waking for her, hence why i am expecting....

Wow, lots of posts. Thanks so much for all the fantastic advice. I'm going to check out the Millpond clinic and Andrea Grace websites, get the No Cry Sleep Solution for some other suggestions.