I feel like a failure

[obsessedwithsleep]

I don't really have anyone to talk to about this but I'm just feeling very down about my son's sleep. He's 11 months old and we just can't crack it. Every time it gets better, it then gets worse again and it just makes me feel so anxious and stressed.

I feel like everyone else's baby is sleeping through reliably and he just isn't like that.

Not sure what the point of this, I just feel very tired and sad.

I feel like everyone else's baby is sleeping through reliably

Hey OP, I'm sure lots more people will be along on this thread to help me tell you this really isn't the case. And even babies/toddlers that do this for a while have teething, illness and all sorts of things that disrupt it.

They are all different, I had a great sleeper in DC1 and a terrible sleeper in DC2. I don't believe that was a failure of parenting, just two very different children.

Stay strong, everything is harder when you're tired but it WILL get better.

DC1 was a terrible sleeper and didn’t sleep through the night till they were over a year old. My mum was always telling me how amazing I slept, why isn’t my DC1 sleeping better. It really affected my mental health. I remember feeling so down and annoyed when they woke in the night. “All babies slept through the night from x age when I had babies or they will sleep better when you wean so wean earlier or give them formula” all of these drove me insane!!!

when DC2 came along i was much more F off with your comments it’s not helpful. Once I stopped everyone else getting my head and comparing I was much happier.

Also I should add it completely sucks having a none sleeper, it’s like torture. It will get better I promise, you have got this and it’s nothing you are doing a parent. I spoke to the HV about gentle sleep training techniques which were a life saver (no cry it out)

My little boy has never 'slept through the night' and he is 17 months. You might find on further questioning that other mother's definitions of this might be different than you imagine, and may not be as consistent as they make out. If they have done behavioural extinction then they may believe their child sleeps through the night, when the baby has learnt that there is no point crying out during nightime hours when awake and distressed, as no caregiver responds.
Some babies just don't sleep well. Mine doesn't. But he is spot on or early in all his developmental milestones. I suspect both are just part of his innate temperament and qualities, rather than my great or terrible parenting. And don't forget lots of people and businesses have a vested interest in making you feel bad about sleep so they can sell you all manner of stuff and services.