early waking

[pops79]

Dear All,

My DS(13 months) is sleeping very well during the night. He goes down at 7pm and usually doesn't wake until 6.30am. Recently however he has been waking earlier somewhere between 5.30 - 6 am everyday. This doesn't really bother me as he doesn't wake during the night, however it does leave him absolutely exhausted by 8.30 am. It means that I am unable to skip his morning nap to try and extend his lunchtime nap (only 1 hour) and it is really disruptive to the school run routine I have with my other son (4 years). My feeling is that my little one needs to sleep later in the morning to enable him to have a better start to the day. I've tried postponing his bedtime but he just woke up at the same time even crankier. Any suggestions?? Should I try to postpone his bedtime more gradually? Should I leave him in his bed in the morning despite his protest? Any tips would be gratefully received!

no answers but am watching this as dd2 is a 5.30 riser regardless of bed time (so she goes to bed at 6.30 now!!) normally shes back asleep by 8 and I have to wake her at 9 to take dd1 to preschool and then she is grumpy

I know...He should be going to nursery soon, but I'm going to have to let him sleep at home first, otherwise he won't make it through the day! I've been reading some other posts about this and I'm happy to accept the early mornings, it's not so much a problem for me (although I'd love him to wake later of course!). It is more for him, the quality of his day is really affected by this....let's hope someone has some tips for us!

Morning! Fraid I'm another person with no answers but the same problem. Ds2 (9 months)was up at 5.25 this morning, ds1 (4) is still asleep now... and yes, I know that ds2 will need a nap just as I'm doing the nursery run, and I'll feel very mean trying to keep him awake.

Also, if he goes to sleep for his first nap too early, he ends up having his second one too early, and being ready for bed too early too, but three naps and bedtime's too late!

Well it is good to hear that I'm not the only one in this situation. I have just put him in bed now (I live in Holland, so we're one hour ahead) and that way he gets a bit of rest before nursery. He doesn't sleep so well there during the day, too much excitement I think.
I'm going to try tonight putting him to bed just 10 minutes later...and then gradually extend it until he is going to bed at 7.30pm. I'll let you know if that helps!

well dd2 went back to sleep at 7.15 and woke up an hour later, although she is in a much happier mood now!

yet again no help but same issue! ds is 7 months and has been sleeping through happily 7.30- 6.30. now all of a sudden its 5am and nothing will convince him otherwise, we've tried controlled crying (which we used to get him to sleep thru - so shoot me...) and it doesnt work, nor does putting him to bed later (he howls with tiredness in the evening and then wakes at 5am even crosser). yet he is then knackered and wants to go back to sleep quickly so he definitely does need to sleep in later (as, believe me, do i...)
the only insight i can offer is that the change happened when i stopped bfeeding during the day as im shortly going back to work, he is a reluctant bottlefeeder still and am wondering if he is taking less calories during the day and maybe that is making a difference? will try stuffing him with milk at every opportunity today and let you know if it helps.....does the fact that everyone responding to this post has got the same problem but no answers mean that there are no answers???

I hope not Woodstock..we need help!!! Re: your comment about milk, my little one has recently dropped a bottle in the afternoon, but it was after this that he began eating much better in the evenings and sleeping through the night without waking. I might try stuffing a bit more in this evening though. Let's keep each posted on the results of our experiments!

When he wakes up early, what does he do? Is it possible to ignore him for an hour or so until you are ready to get him up?

My DTs used to do this - at one point they were waking about 4.30 for the day which was killing us all. In desperation I ended up speaking to a sleep therapist who told me it was simply a habit I needed to break. Because the first couple of times they'd done it, we'd taken them into bed with us, they wanted to do this every morning. They were also napping for an hour or so from about 8.30 - 9am. She advised us to just leave them to their own devices for as long as we could bear it (we had to warn the neighbours that it might get noisy for a few mornings ). She did also tell us that an early waking problem was the hardest sleep problem to crack! She said waking at 5.30ish is quite common, as they are coming into a light stage of sleep and not going back off - the early nap is actually the next stage of sleep, delayed a little!

Anyway, it took 2 weeks for them to get the message - initially we would leave them till 6 (there's something about the time starting with a 6 - psychologically it felt better if it was 6.01 rather than 5.59am ), but eventually they started sleeping later and later until they were going through till 7am.

Hope this is of some help .

Thank you tkband3, what you say is interesting. We have kind of got into the habit of bringing him into our bed when he wakes at 6am, so perhaps he is getting much to used to that. I'm going to try and leave him tomorrow morning...let's see how it goes!

Some feedback from my house this morning I put DS to bed last night 10 minutes later than usual at 19.10. I also made sure that he drank a little bit extra in his last bottle (30 ml extra). I also resolved to not give in if he woke before 6am. And hurrah, he stirred at 5.30am, but I ignored him and he went straight back to sleep. He literally murmured at the time he has been waking and slept through it. He didn't wake again then until 6.30am, which feels like a complete lie in for me!!

I'll keep you posted if these changes make a consistent difference. One other thing, he has only recently started sleeping through the night without waking at all, and this only happened once I made it a little bit warmer in his room. Up until then it had been at 16 degrees (everything I was reading said that this was perfect) but he obviously found this a little too cold, now it is at a steady 18/19 and he doesn't stir. Hope all this info helps!

Pops, so pleased for you that you had a better night, well morning . Hope it continues .

oh i need to jump on here rather than starting my own thread - my ds was a good sleeper (14months old now) goes down at 7 when hes very ready for sleep, he wakes about 11 and has a cry out and goes of when dummy given. Then he wakes a few times through the night for a cry out and dummy replacement. I have stopped him having his dummy through the day and he is coping ok so he only has it when he goes in his cot for his pm sleep (1-2hrs) and as he goes down on a night. Anyway he used to wake at 7am to 8.30 am but the last 10 days he has been getting earlier and earlier and this am it was 5.50am. We have on a few occasions (about 4) bought him into our bed so we can doze till 7am when one of us will get up. I have a dd of 5 who is v tired as started school this year so we are consious of her being woken. He protests on an am to wake up in a loud cry and stands up in his grow bag giving it rock all - i lie him down amd pop his dummy in and i here him throw it accross his room. I am at work today but am posting before i start proper in hope of a miracle answer. Help [tired face]. Oh also he normally goes down on 8oz of mil - last night he wouldnt go down till he had another 5oz!!

When my DD1 was between 9- 12 months, she did the same thing, until we stopped letting her have the morning nap and kept her up progressively longer every morning. As soon as her nap was moved back to after lunch (12.30/1pm ish) she started sleeping in until 6.30/7 in the mornings, and then having 1 long nap of 2-3 hours after lunch. Much better So I think sometimes it is nap related rather than evening bedtime related.

HTH

We haven't fully solved our nearly 8 month old's early morning waking but are a bit hopeful. He sleeps through, thanks to cc, but cc wasn't working in am, waking any time from 4.45 on, usually about 5.20am. A friend suggested leaving him until 6am instead of going in after 5 mins grumbling, and that does seem to be working, some mornings at least. If we went in he'd start really yellling once we left, but if we leave him he just grumbles and has gone back to sleep until 6.30 a few times and once there was no peep until 6.06am! Which is, indeed entirely different from 5.59am! He had shown signs of being an early waker since being tiny, and the main reaon we did was cc was that he was waking twice and then waking at 5am and not going back to sleep, even if fed.

Treat early morning wakings like the middle of the night - don't turn lights on, no eye contact, no nappy change, shh shh, pat pat, a hug, and down he goes back in his cot. Absolutely no feeding at 5 AM.

This is what we did and DD now wakes up between 8:15 and 9:00

Sorry have only read OP so apologise if I mention something that someone else has said. My dd sleeps 7-7 but for a few weeks (around Christmas time) she was waking at 5am!

Its sometimes soo hard to fathom out why they are doing this? I ruled out it being light as it is still pitch black outside!! Ruled out the birds singing as they are still asleep! She was taking her full quota of milk in the day and eating pretty well. She is ten months now. I was giving her a biggish lunch and smallish tea but then I switched round and so I started giving her a small lunch and a bigger tea. I made sure that at teatime (5ish) she was having something with carbs in (sweet potato,pasta etc) and this seemed to do the trick!! Dont know if this is the answer but thought I would share it with you all...

Bodkin - I think you might be right about the nap times...I'm pretty sure that my ds is treating the 8/8.30am nap like a continuation of his nightime sleep. I would like to break the cycle, but he is so desperate for a nap and the one time I did try to skip it completely he fell asleep in my arms at 10am, thus messing up the whole afternoon schedule. Do you have any tips for skipping the morning nap? Should I gradually make it later in the morning and shorter until he can skip it comfortably? He is 13 months old now and so should be able to handle it I think. My DS1 began skipping it himself at exactly 12 months.

P.s. DS woke this morning at 5.30am, after he didn't re-settle himself, I went in and put his dummy back in and lay him down. He cried for one minute when I left, but then went back to sleep until 6am. I then left him in his bed until 6.30am. He didn't protest as much as I had expected.

I think I just kept her up gradually later and later over about a week. And yes, there were a couple of times she fell asleep in my arms or while she was eating, and it is hard when they're really crotchety. But sounds like good progress was made this morning anyway!

I have just come on to post about this exact problem. My ds has just turned one, started childminder 2 days a week and started waking at 5.48 am every morning since (when it used to be about 7am). My faithful books and SIL tell me it's related to too much day time sleep, but while he's waking at that time, he is exhausted at 9.30am and needs an hour nap, plus one again at 1pm after lunch. He dropped his morning sleep this week on the one day he slept through to 7.20am, but was up early again the next day, plus he doesn't sleep for more than an hour at childminder, but is still up early and crosser than ever. He whinges progressively louder if I leave him, so I have been bringing him in to our bed to keep him quiet so dh can keep sleeping as his job is demanding. However, he doesn't seem to enjoy this much, and prefers to stay in his room in the dark in the rocking chair with me having a cuddle. He will happily wait an hour for his bottle, and then will only have 5oz or so, so it can't be hunger. I have a feeling it started with overtiredness after not sleeping well at childminder's, and is now just a habit. Need some advice on how to break it!!!
Baby Whisperer says to go in and nappy change at 5am and then put them back to sleep, but this sounds like a risky strategy. Anyone tried it? It does seem like it is related to age from the above posts. Just another phase????

Am having the same problem. My DD is 13 months and has gone from sleeping through until 6.30/7 to waking 2 or 3 times in the night and waking earlier and earlier (5.50 this morning). I think it may be related to daytime sleep as she still has two longish naps. Suspect she is in transitional phase and will be ready to drop morning nap over next month or so (although she really needs it when she wakes earlier than 6). Also, think it may be related to age as every time she wakes in the night, she is standing in the cot. Had the same problem a few months back when she started to crawl (she would wake up on all fours screaming). Am hopeful that when she masters walking (nearly there) she'll stop waking in the night. Can cope with night wakings OR early mornings, but not both!

I think you're right Elsy about the 'transitional phase', I've been trying a number of different things with my DS and for the last two days i also have been cutting his morning nap right down to 30 mins (usually 1 hour or even longer!!), which then resulted in a two hour nap over lunchtime, which is virtually unheard of in our house..[grins]
More importantly he didn't wake until 6.15 this morning..which felt like a treat after so many 5.30am starts!

I hate to be voice of doom, but not sure that walking makes any difference. DS started walking over Xmas but when he wakes at ridiculous-o'clock he is not standing in cot. Also, I was lead to belive that once they started nursery and walking they would be so tired they'd sleep like the dead. What happened....did someone forget to tell my little one?

Just wanted to update you on my progress. We had a few 'off' nights when my ds was hit by a cold, but for the last four mornings he has been waking at 7am, which is absolutely FANTASTIC! A real luxury for us!
I'm pretty certain that the main thing which helped was dropping the morning nap. Once this happened his lunchtime sleep was longer and then he started to sleep longer in the morning. Eureka! I've also been giving him a little extra milk before bed and he drinks this quite happily. I'm soooo pleased..

pops - my dd is nearly 2 now but did the exact same thing you describe about 6 month ago. To start with I used to get up with her at that time, but we realised we couldn't keep doing this so after it happened for a week or so, we'd go into her room, tell her it was still nightime, try to resettle her and leave. I have to say, it worked for us though I appreciate it sounds easy . Anyway - she grew out of it and now wakes at about 6.15am - which suits us because we get up not long after. Good luck xx

Can I join this support group!

This morning was just about the worst yet - DS (nearly 9mo) woke at 4:45am and pretty much cried until DP managed to settle him to sleep at 6am (which incidentally is when DP has to get up for work). We have 3 months to sort this before I go back to work.

I think the problem is compounded because I've just cut down to one breastfeed per day (at bedtime) so when he wakes he's looking for a feed and not getting one. Sometimes he'll happily wake, have a drink of water, go back into his cot, chat for 20 minutes then go back to sleep. Last night I tried everything (bar feeding him) - rocking, shushing, holding him in his cot, he just got more and more aggravated. Ho hum.

Today I think I might try to cut out his morning nap and see if that helps, he has dropped it a couple of times himself but he is looking pretty tired this morning.

I had thought about getting him out of his cot at 4am, giving him some water then settling him back again, with the hope that this will break the cycle. Sounds risky though - has anyone tried anything like this?