6 month old falls asleep independently but wakes every 2 hours

[Surrealreveur]

Help! My 6 month old goes to sleep independently in his cot for naps and bedtime. I breastfeed him about 20 minutes before, bring him to his room, lay him down. He plays with his blanket, cries a bit sometimes, but is generally asleep within 10 minutes. However despite him having not apparent ‘sleep crutches’ he wakes up between 1.5 and 2 hours ALL NIGHT LONG. He’s exclusively breastfed and I don’t feel comfortable night weaning him yet due to his age.

I’ve tried:
-leaving him when he wakes to see if he’ll settle on his own, most of the time this doesn’t work and he escalates his crying

-not offering the breast between the middle but of the night (between 10-2ish) because I know he’s just had a big feed. This enrages him and means he’s up for about an hour crying, with me intermittently checking in on him

-immediately giving him the breast and putting him down. This works to stop his crying (he drinks from both boobs then I lay him down as soon as sucks slow and he sleeps another 1.5 hours). But it means I basically just have to resolve myself to waking every 1.5 hours indefinitely.

I give him neurofen most nights for teething. He goes to sleep independently in his cot and has three naps between 45 minutes and 2 hours generally totalling a about 3 to 3.5 hours total. Bedtime is variable depending upon last wake up but generally around 6.30/7 and he wakes at 5.30/6.

The only thing left I can think is….night weaning (which I’m not ready for), or just giving up even attempting to get him to connect sleep cycles at night and just letting him BF at every wake up because then at least I don’t have a long stretch of crying to listen to in the middle of the night (side note also have a toddler which I’m terrified of waking). Any ideas?

Maybe it's the bf just before bed? Maybe too close to actually the bedtime routine so expecting it?

Or could be not being able to link the sleep cycles yet?

Is he on solids?
Be careful of nurofen. You’re meant to give it for 3 days only. Paracetamol is a much better option.

Thanks didn’t know that! It is longer lasting so that’s why I’ve been doing it. Will switch it out for paracetamol. No solids yet he’s not sitting independently yet so it’s a choking hazard. Waiting for that milestone before we introduce. He’s gaining weight well

I don’t bf him to sleep and try to leave a gap of 20 minutes before bed 🤷‍♀️

I think your baby may be on a growth spurt and need regular feeding even at night. Breast milk is more digestible than formula. I am unsure re pain relief for teething, but suggest getting advice from pharmacist or health visitor.

Oneof my DC was exactly the same. I tried so many different things but nothing worked, even a sleep consultant didn't change much. I now think that some babies just can't link sleep cycles, which for them seems to be a different skill from going to sleep at the beginning of the night. They take longer than other babies to develop that skill and there is nothing you can do. Mine was 14 months old before he started sleeping very long stretches, he is 16 months old now and still wakes once every night.
Sorry, not helpful.

OP I would there’s another option which is wait.

It is still developmental normal for your baby to wake up this often in the night.

Breastfed DS was waking this often at that age, he’s a year old now and can generally sleep through or sometimes wakes up once for a feed. It happened gradually and I don’t think there would have been much we could have done to hurry him up.

I think at around 7/8 months my DH started doing some night feeds with expressed milk because I’d gone back to work and needed to be able to share the night wakings. Something to consider if you need to make things a bit easier on yourself.

DS2 was very similar…
On the advice on a paediatrician, I sped up weaning and had him straight onto 3 meals a day, aiming for 150g per meal. I naturally lean towards BLW but DS was wolfing down food so it was clear he was hungry!

i also had to get DH to settle him when he woke, because as soon as he saw/smelt me, he wanted to be fed

It took about 10 days but we got him into a routine of a dream feed at 10-11pm (from a bottle because they wake up more with a BF) and then either one wake, or straight through til 5-6am

Not entirely the point, but I don't think your baby needs to be able to sit completely unsupported before you introduce solids? They just need to be stable sitting up in a highchair. My daughter didn't sit independently until she was over 8 months old, and I certainly wouldn't have waited that long to start her on solids.

I've recently started weaning my 6 month old son and even with proper food, he is breastfeeding more often. I think yours could just be having a growth spurt? Hang in there, I can truly sympathise with the constant waking!

I think your baby is hungry and you need to start to wean.

Based on experience with my two, I would suggest you introduce food. Mine woke a lot at this age and I think they were simply hungry (I was quite slow and cautious introducing solids)

My DS was the same sometimes waking 10+ times a night (wish I was exaggerating but I'm not). He's never fallen asleep independently (always fed to sleep) but he started to naturally sleep longer stretches on his own, he's almost 11 months now and sleeping 7-4 some nights, so I'm under the impression a lot of it is developmental and they learn to link sleep cycles/settle back to sleep on their own.

I think if you start weaning him and get him fed and satisfied in the day you might find he's in a better sleep routine in the night. Many babies are weaned from 4 months, independently sitting is definitely not necessary.

When you say he can’t sit independently, do you mean he can’t sit up on the floor, or can’t sit in a high chair without flopping forward..?

because they need to be able to sit in a chair and control their head, but many babies can’t sit on the floor til much later so you cannot wait that late to start solids

If you’re on Instagram, this paediatrician is good, and also has a young baby who she is weaning so posts good advice
but you absolutely don’t need to wait til he is sitting on his own out of a chair to start solids
www.instagram.com/reel/CbiIQDTIUCQ/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Just want to add that weaning doesn’t magically improve sleep. Everyone kept telling me that once my baby was having solids he would sleep better. It didn’t make much of a difference to his sleep, it wasn’t until about 8 months that he started dropping milk feeds and as I said above his sleep improved on its own as time went on.

Agreed! I’m quite confident on starting solids. We did BLW with ds1 and although he consumed almost nothing until 14 months he then started eating with gusto and is to this day the best eater. Fully planning on trusting ds2 with feeding himself in the same way. Also breast milk is pound for pound more nutritional and calorific than any mush you could bypass a young baby’s tongue thrust reflex with

No real solution OP as my six month old is exactly the same! I’m exhausted from the 1.5-2h wake ups.

He’s been on solid food for three weeks and will eat three meals a day - Jars/mushy food and handheld stuff, he will happily eat an entire mushed banana - it’s made no difference whatsoever.

Introduced formula dream feed after advice. No better!

Not trying to bring you down, but just wanted to let you know what I’ve tried so you don’t feel pressured into starting anything you don’t want to.

I asked my HV advice today because as far as I can tell I’m doing everything right - she said some babies just aren’t sleepers! I’m back to work next week!

Disagree with those saying your baby is hungry from no solids. The WHO says that breastmilk is all a baby needs for the first year of their life. Plus (as you said) the milk is far more calorific. I don't think a 58 calorie pouch of puree is going to improve overnight sleep at this age!

Solidarity as my son is 7 months and it's very similar here and I could have written your post with what I've tried. Infuriating as he CAN sleep for long stretches - he has slept through twice and can sleep for 5-8 hours on a good night. He just chooses not to.

My little boy was very similar at this age. I couldn't understand why he could self settle but it wasn't making any difference, so I messaged a sleep expert and night nanny on Instagram to ask for advice. She said 'you need to go cold turkey on the milk', but I didn't agree because DS was only about 5 months old. So I just waited it out in the end.

It's all a myth, I drove myself mad trying to do everything 'correctly' and none of it worked. I often think when people are advocating 'drowsy but awake' that the causal link goes the opposite way round. I.e. you haven't made your baby a good sleeper by putting them down drowsy but awake, you are able to put them down drowsy but awake BECAUSE they're a good sleeper.

Brilliant - I never thought of it that way!

completely agree, once I accepted the fact that it didn't matter what I did and he would learn in his own time I felt so much better

Just as a follow up I spoke to a sleep consultant who essentially said once a baby falls asleep initially on their own the rest of the night wakings are basically pot luck. I specifically asked the question whether 5/6 wakings per night was developmentally normal and she said yes. So as expected, and also really wholesome that she told me this rather than try to take my money! Decided to just feed upon waking when needed until I decide to completely night wean which won’t be until at least 1 year. Thanks for everyone’s thoughts, always nice to check in with the mum hive mind ✌️