4am every morning

[Sillymummies123]

Hi all,

As in title ^. 10 months old, has slept through the night with for a few months prior to the last fortnight (before that, she had one wake for feed and that's it).

For the last fortnight she has begun her tired cry between 4-430am and has been wide awake and chatting thereafter. Understandably, were dying inside. Our other child is almost 3, so we feel any form of ferbering is, for now, unlikely to make things better. We've tried nappy and milk, just milk, ignoring, rocking, but by 5am she is just loudly shouting and standing up. 10 months into our second child we're sudddnly feeling more sleep deprived than we ever have before.

Every resource online says "don't try to keep them up later", but we're sort of at our wits end and that's seeming the obvious option right now (with a few rough days while she transitions).

Please tell me whether the later bedtime is insane or obvious to you also.

Thanks

I had similar, DD didn't sleep through really until he was about 6 but anyway he git up regularly between 4.30 to 5.30am and nope late nights did nothing unfortunately and yes it killed me and years later It still makes me shudder.

Unfortunately it's also very common these early starts, I used to go to bed early alot and nap if and when I could but only had the one child.

I also found removing the nap did nothing.

Sorry its not what you want to hear, your DC might start sleeping better as might be a phase but be prepared to ride this out a while.

Later bedtime made no difference to us 🤷🏼‍♀️

DC is 7 months here, and I've just accepted that they go down at half 6 and are up between half 4 and 5. I'm hoping it'll change in time but for now I just go to bed early myself and suck it up.

Oh well, thanks

proceeds to plan later bedtime

These light early mornings don’t help. My DC gets up with the birds at 4am. Could this be an issue for you too?

I am going to try blackout curtains.

So obviously the early morning is probably a factor, but it's been light early for a while and this is recent. I guess she's jumped a developmental step and just gets up. Honestly at this point she doesn't seem tired. She's been crawling all over our downstairs shouting since 430. She has both blackout curtains and a Whitenoise machine so I don't know that I can do anything else to keep the morning from her in that regard. She currently starts her evening milk at 6:40pm and is in bed by 7pm, so I think I'm going to spend a week dragging that to 7:30pm. I know the advice is to not, but it's no different to what I'd do if the clocks changed and I'm prepared to keep at it until the wake shifts so fingers crossed!

Our first was like this and we didn't crack it. It was soul destroying as she didn't nap and was mostly overtired but fought any attempts to nap or go to sleep.

Second is far better and advice/techniques that others gave me with the first work on him.

I make sure his afternoon nap doesn't disrupt bedtime ie it doesn't go on too late but that he gets enough nap time throughout the day so he's not overtired going to bed as I found that to be the biggest reason for waking.

A bit of a gamble but earlier bed?

Could LO be having too much daytime sleep OP? Meaning less overnight sleep needed? That’s the only other thing i can think of. My LO all of a sudden wakes at 6 instead of 7 but I do think that’s the bright sun shining through not helping despite having black out blinds

Yeah I would always look at naps for early wakes rather than bedtime. What’s the daytime routine like?

So, napwise she has a 30 minute crash at about 09:00 and about 1.5 hours at 1pm.

By contrast, her 3 year old brother still has 3 hours at 1pm...😵

My lo was an early riser. For us after persistent later bedtime for a week or so did help and Generally get past 6am to 630am now sometimes 7am. It can take up to 3 weeks to see changes.

We made sure blackout everywhere upstairs so it's always dark. Pink noise nice and loud.

We did up food intake in day to make sure it wasn't hunger but by 10 months our lo wasn't having much milk. We added the snacks in at 11am ish and 4pm ish. Or maybe a supper would help?

Nap wise we did 930am/945am to 11am then 215pm asleep until 4pm awake with a 745pm bedtime. Asleep by 8pm. Think this is the huckleberry one we followed.

For us if we cut down the day time sleep she was grumpy as hell and for us that was worse. So a later bedtime for us. Even now if I put her to bed at 7pm she would be up at 5am at a push. She's only ever been a 10 hour to 10.5 hour over night.

Is lo awake from 4am ish until 9am?
Do you wake lo up from naps?

My LO frequently does this - its only after a 3-4 week cluster that we realise it was teething/ development related, and they've mastered a new skill or popped a new tooth! "So that's what that was!"
So hang in there it may just be that and they'll go back to sleeping through fingers crossed!
Such a pain though and makes for very long days 😞x

2.30pm - 7pm being awake is quite long for 10months. Maybe she is over tired?

I say this like I have a clue. I don't. I think it's all luck, some folks get it good and some folks do.

Kids are hard.

Have you tried the wake to sleep? Sounds like madness but you set an alarm for earlier than dc will wake and disturb them, not wide awake just enough to dysrupt their sleep cycle, then (theoretically!! ) they sleep through the time they would have woken.

Yep. Is currently standing up at the play kitchen "talking" (it's just funny shouting) at pots and pans. No sign of tired yet!

Yep! Probably explains why she needs to start sleep at 6:30pm!

It's all worth it, in the worst instance. I usually go in, half asleep, furious at half 4, and then she just smiles when I walk in and all is forgiven. Her brother screamed from birth to about 2 years, so this is, whilst exhausting, refreshing.

I just... I don't think I can do it. The toddler during the day is painful with this sleep deprivation and I can't risk being up from 3am. Walking zombie alert.

See - so sleep deprived I didn't even quote comments I was replying to!

My 10 month old is going through this exact phase! I can get him back to sleep eventually, with lots of breastfeeding, rocking and nursery rhymes but it's not ideal 🙈 last night he was awake from 9-11pm howling for some reason and this morning, has slept in until now! Can't make it up. It's brutal. Do you take it in turns getting up? That's what my and DH do now so it doesn't feel so awful as you know a lie in is coming.

Can't really take it in turns. House is not soundproof so whoever stays in bed is awake anyway, and our toddler is up bright and early at 6:30 ready to start, anyway. We also both work so need to get up at 6 to shower etc as well

She's still playing and wide awake... I perhaps wonder whether she's ready for a massive single nap now, instead.

Update: she had half an hour at nine and is now playing, laughing, exploring. She is obviously feeling quite refreshed! Meanwhile I am zombie!

@Sillymummies123 this will be no reassurance but I still wake briefly at around 3:30 4:00 most nights. DSs are 17 and 20.

You spend the first few years persuading them to walk, talk, sleep and eat and the next 15 asking them to sit down, be quiet, not empty a cereal packet in one sitting and wake up before midday.

Ha. No persuading to walk here! She's happy, brave, and loves to explore, but crikey you've got to watch her now that she crawls. First born was much more reserved.

I get it, though. She won't wake up at 4am and cry for me at 11, but I can't do another 3 years of this. I'm going to try and shift her entire clock back.

She is overtired because the lunchtime nap is too short and the gap before bedtime is too long.
The overtiredness is causing Early morning waking due to raised cortisol levels.
Things to try:

• complete blackout in the bedroom, not a sliver of light coming in


• if you are under a flight path or have a lot of traffic noise early morning, use a white noise machine or app


• make sure she is not cold as 4.30 is coldest time of night

Routine:
9.30-10 morning nap is fine
Lunchtime nap should be 12.30 to 2.30 or 3.
Bedtime 6.30pm and if the lunchtime nap is short or finishes before 2pm then 6pm bedtime.

Make sure that she is having 3 proper meals and sufficient milk to rule
out hunger.