3yo sleep

[Stegosaurusesrock]

DS2 is 3. Attends nursery daily. Has terrible trouble with hearing and ears.

Until a year ago he slept well, developmentally great - the odd night wake but good. Then we moved, lived with family for a few months and he was up for hours every night. Eventually our house was ready and we moved in, sleep still terrible but got a bit better by the autumn. Which was when his ears went berserk, back to back ear infections for months. Last one was march.

He sleeps dreadfully now, never through and rarely past 5am. We've tried not letting him nap and it makes no difference. And if he's in the car for more than 2-3 minutes of an afternoon it's unavoidable.

Is there anything I can do to help him. At the moment DH and I tag team through the night, normally 2 wakes. And then we take the early shift in turns. He has an older brother so we don't want to leave him yelling or DS1 gets woken up.

I'm just so desperately tired. I'm not sure if hearing aids/ grommets/ treatment will be able to make a difference to his sleep. He's delayed slightly behaviour and communication wise because of his ears and the impact of it not being treated adequately for the whole of Covid. I just am not sure if there's anything I can do to help him, or any of us really? Or is it just a ride it out situation?

Thanks in advance.

How long does he nap for and when?
What time does he go to sleep at night?
How long did you try not letting him nap for?

About 45 minutes absolute max (otherwise bedtime is an unmitigated disaster) straight after nursery so 1:30
He's usually asleep between 7 and half past - unless he doesn't nap, then he's out by 6. Nothing will keep him awake.
We tried for a month and then gave up and now I kind of let him lead

Sounds like he going to bed too early if you want him to get up later.

I think you should fully drop the nap - I think it’s causing a lot more problems then it solves. Whilst he acclimatises to dropping the nap, I think you should carry on putting him down at 6pm with a wake up at 5 am, ie don’t change his night sleep. After a good few weeks of no nap, if he’s still waking at 5 and exhausted by 6, I think you should start shifting the whole schedule back by 15 - 30 minutes a day. So put him down at 6:15 or 6:30pm and wait for the morning to catch up. I think you might be in for the long haul.

Awesome username @Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas but we've tried with no change, - later bedtime means same nighttime wake-ups & still up before 6.

How long did you try the no nap for?

I'd also suggest dropping the nap - it can take awhile to reset

The usual assumption here is that it's to do with over/undertiredness, but lots of sleep is behavioural - what are you doing when he wakes up? How does he go to sleep, is he alone?

Have you done it consistently for 2 weeks?