10 mo never sleeping

[neverbeenthistired]

Where am I going wrong
10 mo DS has never slept through the night.

We have a bedtime routine
He settles himself at night
Have tried more & less naps in the day

Nothing works

The minute I fall asleep he wakes
I'm soo tired I've been awake since 5am and it's now 1:30am almost 24h

I have 2 other DC so it's not like I can sleep in the day.

What am I doing wrong. He is FF and doesn't take feeds in the night. Refuses bottles
Not had this issue with my other 2

I am soo tired I can't do it anymore. It's been 10 months of living on 2h sleep a night

To also add we have no help and DH is useless when it comes to not sleeping at least 6h a night. I'd rather do the night shift with the baby than watch him struggling with every step the next day

Have you tried swaddling? Ive used this method with my nursery babies and it helps for some children. Also try white noise (or a sound machine).

He's too old for swaddling. Doesn't sound a simple solution but when our daughter did this at 10 months with multiple wake ups we did controlled crying in middle of night

Have you tried controlled crying? I know it's not for everybody and I don't mean leave for long stretches, just 2,3,4 increasing times. You have to persevere with it though, if that's something you haven't done.

I know how hard it can be. I was struggling at one point, but after doing this my baby sleeps 630pm to 7am with no wakeup at 7 months. It wasn't always that way 😳

Good luck xx

@jennyofthenorth ... baby is 10months not 10 days!

I agree with @Twdfn123, CC worked wonders for us at this age. Day 1, an hour of crying at bedtime, one wake with an hour of crying in the night, day 2 she slept 7-7. She'd been waking hourly since birth before then!

Thanks everyone for your advice

I don't think he'd like being swaddled especially with this heat.

& we have tried controlled crying for our other 2 after they turned 1. Maybe he's ready earlier.

I always feel guilty but honestly if that's the only way to make him sleep ...
At the moment I can barely function in the day due to lack of sleep

Have you tried white noise?

My 20mo has never slept through the night either. It's bloody painful.

Ps: I know that exact feeling of the minute you drop off they wake.

Does he refuse bottles at night? I'd try night feeding him if not. I bf so it's slightly different but I think I was stil dream feeding at 10 months

Oh yes. All 3 of them sleep with a white noise machine in the night & day just so they don't disturb each other if one cries or decides to make noise

Have tried to offer him a bottle and he won't take it I have also tried with water and is aways refused. Even calpol before bed doesn't work so I gave up on that too.

Sounds tough but we have 10 month old twins and they are just at the stage of obsessing over holding food and wanting to boss it. They have started batting away the bottle imperiously, and particularly before bed.

I let ours go to sleep and then dream feed them 30 minutes later as a poster above suggested. Gets enough milk into them to just about sleep through, but you have to sit them upright and rock a little to burp or tummy pangs can undo the good work.

What’s the sleeping arrangements? In your situ I would change them whatever they are.. it can’t really get any worse! I’d try him in a different place (move the cot) or different cot/bedding/mattress, different curtains (darker). If he’s settling himself ok and not waking for feeds, why is he waking? Do you think it’s routine/habit or is something possibly disturbing him? There must be a reason he can’t stay asleep. Especially if he’s settling well in the first instance. You need to become Sherlock Holmes and find out the why! I would Try without the white noise aswell. Try some music or no sound etc. DS goes to sleep with Melody Gardot’s ‘morning sun’ playing on my Spotify 😂 the exact same. Song. every single. night. On repeat. He slept through almost from the start and I had it playing in my room at the maternity hosp to keep a ‘calm ambience’ 😂 so I’ve carried on at home for nearly 6 months- I turn it off when I come up to bed! If you think it might be just habit of waking up; I would mess up his body clock and get him super mega tired or use a holiday break as a chance to kickstart a slightly different routine and see if anything clicks. Good luck this sounds so tough.
xx

You were giving him calpol before bed without pain or fever? To try and get him to sleep? That's not great...
Otherwise I would say unfortunately this is normal. If you're not breastfeeding then you have to make a compromise with your husband. OK he needs his 6 hours but so do you. Baby 'sleeps' for around 12 hours so surely you both take shifts? It means giving up your evening and sleeping but you can take turns.