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Not sure how much longer I can cope

2 replies

Seasidesusy · 15/06/2022 07:09

My baby (21 weeks) has never slept through - the best we’ve had was 5/6 hours a few times which was brilliant. Before he turned 16 weeks, he was waking up most nights once and going back down well in his cot after a feed. Sleeping in the cot (next to me) has never been an issue either.

As soon as he turned 16 weeks, sleep started to deteriorate. It’s got worse and worse and we are at the stage where he is awake once an hour, and sometimes awake for several hours overnight. He only settles back down if fed. He doesn’t take a dummy. We use continuous white noise and a sleeping bag. I try shushing him, rubbing his belly/nose/forehead - all of which did settle him back to sleep 5 weeks ago - but he just gets more and more agitated.

His naps during the day have also gone downhill to the point that he sometimes won’t sleep between 2pm and 8pm despite all my efforts. This doesn’t seem to make his sleep worse or better - regardless of naps, his night time sleep is dreadful.

Everyone keeps telling me it’s the 4 month regression and it doesn’t last forever etc etc. It kept me going to start with, thinking it wouldn’t last long but now I just feel like I’m cracking up. It’s getting worse, not better. I’m breastfeeding so it’s basically all on me to feed etc overnight. In the last 10 days I haven’t slept more than an hour and a half at a time and not more than 4 hours overnight. I honestly feel like I’m going insane. I am anxious and paranoid, I am forgetful and clumsy.. my patience is so thin and I am emotional all the time. I don’t want to go out or see people because I am too tired to enjoy anything. I was enjoying being a FTM so much and now I just feel guilty all the time because I’m so exhausted.

I don’t really know what I’m asking for here, maybe just to get it off my chest a bit. Thanks if you’ve read this far!

OP posts:
sunflowerandivy · 15/06/2022 11:43

I'm in the depth of the regression too. Every night different. I slept 3 individual hours last night. I'm regularly awake from 2/3am as she's tossing and rolling and jolting herself awake. You are not alone. It's awful. I have started putting her awake in cot and getting her to go to sleep in there rather than on me. At night I do a bit of pick up put down and I just spent 10 minutes patting and shushing her to sleep in cot for first nap, she settled herself but then woke screaming after 20 minutes. I bf her and now she's like a log on me. I'm trying to move away from bf to sleep with varying success. Maybe start trying that?

Seasidesusy · 15/06/2022 15:24

Hey. Thanks for your reply and sorry you’re going through it too. It does help to know I’m not alone to be honest.. in a group of 6 new mums, I am the only one whose baby has regressed so much sleep-wise. Mine is the youngest too, so they seem to be out of the woods!
Not BF to sleep would definitely be ideal. It’s just the only way he’s really gone to sleep at night up until now. I’d love him to learn some self-soothing techniques but I can’t bear the thought of him being left to cry, which is what my partner is suggesting we do now.

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