Twins bedtime - impossible?!

[eviltwinsmum]

Just spent another soul destroying three hours trying to get both twins to bed. The fussing, fidgeting and whinging - oh GOD the whinging!!! Seriously feeling like I can't take anymore. It seems impossible to get both to bed at the same time, which obviously they need to or else it would leave one alone (and therefore crying).

I can't leave them to cry as it would wake my elder dc but once they won't let me hold them OR put them down I'm at a loss at what to do. HV advised 'bath, bottle, bed' which I try but it's not happening. (Also think unless you've tried putting 2 babies to bed you wouldn't know it's not that simple!) Even if one starts dropping off the other starts crying out and startles them awake.

I wouldn't mind so much but they're KNACKERED (and so am I - sick of going to bed straight after them at 10pm instead
Of having any sort of time to myself.

Anyone been there?? What's the secret?!!

Sorry meant to add - an obvious answer is to share with DH - but he works away much of the time so many bedtimes are single handed.

I feel like screaming

Ive been there and you have all my sympathy! How old are they? I remember the first time I emerged from the bedroom for a bit of ‘evening’ after a good few months of what you describe. It will get better but it’s really hard where you are right now! I’m sorry I don’t have any answers.

Do you have enough bedrooms for each to have their own? Even if you settle twin 1, 10/ 15/ 20mins before twin 2 ad keep to a routine like that?

Can you put white noise in your elder DCs room so they don't wake up, and then sleep train? That's what we did, though only with one baby, to be fair.

Can you play audio books or stories for your older one. Maybe using sleep headphones? We’ve done this with a sensitive sleeper from about 3.

how old are the babies? If they won’t let you hold them or put them down can you use the carrier, put one baby in there and settle one, then take the second one out and settle that one? How many rooms do you have to play with? Can you keep both babies downstairs until your bed time, or one baby? Use a travel cot to temporarily use another room to help until this stage passes?

when our bedtime routine became unmanageable and it did a few times (3dc, but no twins) I used to just stop doing the whole thing and do something else totally. Like take them all out for a long walk at bedtime every night for a few nights or drag the mattresses downstairs and “camp out” in the sitting room for a while, just to press the reset button and start again, breaking all their annoying habits. It sometimes worked. But depends how old they are maybe

How old are your twins?
A stable bedtime routine is what worked for us with our twins.
We did bath, milk feed and cuddle in bed reading a bedtime story from a pretty young age. Night light on.
Our twins slept in the same cot for the 1st few months as that seemd to calm them. When they moved into beds they jumped back into sharing for a while again too.

Sorry, should've said - they're 1, but could be considered 11 months since they were born early. Older Dc is only 5 and needs their sleep to be up for the school run. We use white noise for the twins but not the elder.

Not enough bedrooms for one each, but there is space for one in our room. They're too big to share a cot now and that was starting to disturb them more before they grew out of it. Even if I do leave one downstairs while I try and take the other one up, the one that's been left just cries and hollers to the point where I have to see to them cos I can't bear the noise.

I also can't give up and make them sit and watch tv with me cos they're so tired they will just scream!!

I feel your pain! My DTs just turned 2 and bedtime is A LOT easier now (and I’m soft/ have never left them to CIO).

Do they take a dummy? We do bath, teeth, milk in cot (in a sippy cup so hopefully slightly better for the teeth…). I read a few stories whilst the white noise is on, T2 (the more difficult sleeper) will fall asleep and I leave T1 to fall asleep on his own. Can you try milk in their cots to help them settle?

Also assume their wake windows are age appropriate and they’re not not tired/ over tired and that’s causing the long time to fall asleep?

What wind down activities are you doing? Are you doing low stimulation an hour before? Is the environment boring and dark? Do you play a particular piece of music to signal it's time for sleep? Or read the same bedtime story etc?

Hopefully these prompt some different ideas but I'd say it's about survival. It won't last much longer if they're one.

I used to separate mine for bedtime, get one to bed in my room and one in their room, then carry one through later on- they used to be incredibly daft together at bedtime.

It may be there’s no answer and it’s just going to sort itself out in time. But know that you’re flipping amazing and doing a brilliant job.