Is this acceptable

[NannaF]

DD and Partner are separated but still living in same house at present.
They will share custody of their two boys when he eventually moves out.
DD is trying to get 6 year old to sleep through in his own bed. He usually wakes through night and wants to come into her or partners bed.
Partner consistently, picks sleeping child out of bed and puts him in bed with him as he doesn't want to be woken through the night. DD has told him she will always get up and he should leave son in his own bed. Partner refuses and continues to bring him into his bed.
AIBU thinking this is unacceptable and somewhat strange behaviour?

What happens when he wakes up? Does he settle back down quite quickly or does he get very upset? I think really this is just about having different views on parenting. Many people are happy for their children to co-sleep. They naturally grow out of it when they're ready. My DS was 8 when he finally started to sleep through in his own room. I don't really see why it should matter to your DD if her DS goes in with his Dad.

A separation is always very difficult for a child. I imagine he wants to be close to his parents at night because he feels more secure.

I think this is just different parenting styles made more difficult by the fact they are two people no longer in a relationship living together, which probably makes both of them less likely to compromise or help each other out. Each will be fixed on their own method.

It'll help when they are living separately, then there can be separate 'rules' at each home. Kids are pretty good at being able to adapt to different ways things work in different places. But I don't think it's odd for a 6yo to come sleep in with his dad during the night, and if the dad is happy with it and the son is too, then that's just their dynamic. The mum doesn't need to follow the same philosophy if it's not something that works for her. But it's just blurred lines because they're all sharing the same house.

Hi thanks so much for your comments. Just to clarify, the issue is that Dad takes the sleeping child out of his own bed into Dad's bed before he even wakes.

I imagine that's a pretty good way of avoiding being woken later in the night, I can see why he would do that. It's not a bad plan, if he's happy to continue cosleeping until the kid grows out of it. The issue is that it isn't what your DD wants to do. But seeing as she isn't in a relationship with this guy anymore, she no longer gets any say in how he parents.

Tbh I've done that with DD before when I've needed a proper night's sleep and she could appear at any time in the night. Sometimes it's just easier to relocate her at 10pm than be woken at 2am by a ghostly little figure at the door!

Personally, that would annoy the life out of me if I was your DD, especially as she has stated that she is willing to be the one to get up in the night.
However, they both get a say on how to parent and they need to come to a mutual agreement on how to handle the night waking

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