1 year old is crying EVERY time put to sleep

[Lgw20]

My 1 year old has been sleep trained for 3 months now, but about a month ago every nap and bedtime I put him down for he cries.

It's next level this week but he is ill so I can understand that.

His wake windows are appropriate for his age

He wakes 5.30 but I keep in cot til 6
Nap from 9-10
Nap from 1.45-3 (this is suddenly short and he's woke crying)
Bedtime between 6.30-7

I take him to his room (sometimes he's crying if he's tired possibly) but usually he is fine, we are reading and playing. I put him in the cot, lights off, leave and he cries so much! Used to just babble and play.

Assuming it's separation anxiety?

Any tips?

First nap is too long and that means he is
a) using it to compensate for the early wake
b) undertired for the lunchtime nap.

tweak routine as follows:

He wakes 5.30 but I keep in cot til 6

Nap from 9-10 - change to 9.15-10am then 9.20-10am after a few days and aim for no longer than 30 mins awake by 10. By 15-18 months this nap will be gone completely.

Nap from 1.45-3 (this is suddenly short and he's woke crying) - aim for 1-3 or at least 1-2.30

Bedtime between 6.30-7 - aim for 6.45pm. If the lunchtime nap does not go well then you can do 6.30pm bedtime.

make sure he is eating enough. Is he on a proper breakfast lunch and dinner? What about milk?

Wow, mine didn't sleep anything like as much as what you want yours to sleep. Try putting him in the buggy and go for a walk. He'll drift off if he's tired. If not, unfortunately he just doesn't need all that sleep.

DD did this around 8 months, 1 year and now again at 21 months. It seems like separation anxiety and she just wants to be held.

At 1 year old she used to wake 5.30/6 (same as you, kept in cot if happy and calm until 6), then she would sleep 1.5 hours in the AM like 9ish, then 1.5 hrs in the afternoon like 1.30/2ish, with a 7pm bedtime.

It's a long old slog and after much stress, tweaking, research it seems that sometimes you can do everything right and they're just having a brain/emotional/physical leap and it's a bad few weeks for a while. The best advice I got was consistency in routine.

No matter the wake windows, the bedtime etc and how it shifts, same routine and same response from parent (s), and to try and not get agitated which is sometimes easier said than done when you're knackered.

Oh, and really good blackout blinds/white noise.

Definitely agree with cutting morning nap down a bit, maybe even bringing the afternoon one forward a bit then.

But I think it’s probably just a phase they all go through, my 2yo is similar currently and always goes through these phases.

@LapinR0se

Thanks for advice.

I have tried pushing morning nap forward but He's so tired due to actual wake time but I can give it a go and cut it down.

Also I give him 3 meals a day, 2 snacks and 2/3 milk feeds. He is going through a phase or refusing a lot of food though I do my best.

The last few days he's currently waking 5-5.30 and crying in his cot and no longer waiting happily till 6am 🙃

Are you waking Lo from naps?
Is there a reason for early bedtime? If I put my lo to sleep at that time she be screaming at me to get up at 530am too.

Does he still need x2 naps? Mine just had afternoon nap after 1 year.
6.30pm-5.30am seems a huge amount of sleep.

Move bedtime to 8pm. Ditch morning nap

@ChittyBang1987

@ChittyBang1987

I wake him from morning nap.

Afternoon nap he's been waking himself crying at 40 mins recently but used to sleep 1-1.5 hours.

Bedtime is 6.30 because he's waking like 2.30 at the moment. Pre the short naps he was having a 7/7.15pm bedtime and waking 5.30 still :)

I would say awake times are too long. 9am till 1030am initially to catch up on sleep. But once little one is dealing a bit better I would slightly decrease to get ready for one nap.

Next nap needs to be about 130pm in cot to sleep. 3 hours awake time. Maybe 3.5 hour awake time.

I would say lo is overtired massively.

So say 9am till 1030am only because of early rising currently then I would change to 915am to 10am or 930am till 1030am. Depends on lo.
130pm back to bed. And do everything you can do to encourage sleep if wakes up. Wake up say 330pm to 4pm. Bed 730pm to 8pm. Depends again on your lo. Then after time lo will start waking later then you can change day naps again. I do think there might be slight regression at this age.

If lo is ill, they need more sleep to recover just like we do. Before afternoon nap, make sure lo has had a good lunch, and a bottle literally before putting down to help.

This is hiw I helped my lo.

@ChittyBang1987 I can deffo try the shorter morning nap and doing 3.5 hours for second wake window.

However if I let him have 1.5 hours to catch up in morning he won't settle for afternoon sleep! Tried that at the weekend when his illness started thinking he needed more and he ended up staying up 7 hours before bed!

Did you sleep train by leaving him to ‘self soothe’? If so maybe he’s just upset he’s being abandoned when you put him down. If you cuddle and stay with him does he settle?

Also - sleep is a rollercoaster, especially the first 12-24 months, they’re developing all the time so sleep needs change too, learning new skills and things like teething will impact too. It’s well know that sleep training does really work as it has to be redone every time something changes for the baby

@BuffaloCauliflower

I did pop ins as when I was in the room he actually slept less. Now he sleeps through the night just has suddenly been upset at naps and bedtime and doing short naps

Probably a phase