I guess we're doing everything wrong but am at my wits' freakin' end - help please!

[phdlifeneedsanewlife]

We've just got back from a short holiday to Aus and the US. Ds (9m) travelled brilliantly - taking only 2 nights to adjust sleep patterns in each place - right up until last flight (LAX-home) when he got no sleep.

Now his previously excellent sleep pattern is completely f*cked - last night it was

nap 3:30-6pm. Yes I know he probably shouldn't have done that but a) we were knackered too and b) how do you keep them awake?

play, dinner, bed at 8 - this is only 1hr later than he'd normally go down.

wakes at 12 with teething pain when dinnertime dose of calpol wears off. Dosing him with calpol wakes him right up so not back to sleep until gone 1.

Crying in his sleep at 3:30. He's in bed with me: bf, cuddles, pats, shush make no difference, from experience the only way to stop this moaning is to sit/wake him up (he will wake himself eventually anyway). For next hour I tried singing/rocking (he turned playful/wriggly), putting him in cot and ignoring him (alternate trying to sleep/screaming), nappy change (furious), nurofen (annoyed). He keeps me thoroughly wrong-footed - seeming v tired, sucking his fingers and putting his head down, then sitting up to coo at the wall, play with anything he can reach - or scream angrily. If I held him he twisted and pushed, if I put him down he screamed and climbed me.

After an hour he did a nasty explosive jelly poo - he's been doing this regularly for past 2 days - no idea why.

Finally at 5am me and dh have given up, we've all gotten up. My guess is ds will go back to sleep something like 6-6:30 til 10, then we are back into it again.

I know you're supposed to be consistent but I don't see how when there is so much going on with ds - he is also on the verge of crawling. I also don't know what to be consistent with! Help, please...

Sound like it is a mixture of a lot of things kicking in, Why have you both got up? One of you should try and get some sleep so you can take it in turns to look after your little one.

You could try and make him sleep nearer to his normal UK nap times by walking or in the car (what ever makes him sleep) and try keeping him awake when he is struggling with swimming or baths etc.

Good Luck, He will be back with it soon.

we're both up because flat is too small for anyone to not hear screaming baby

thanks for keeping-awake tips though

You should make dh take him on the walks or swimming trips while YOU rest if you are Breastfeeding. Tell your dh it will keep up your milk quality which will help ds sleep!

It sounds very stressful but please try to remember he doesn't understand any of it and is not trying to 'wrong foot' you or manipulate you. Babies only have needs, not wants as such...

I would just try and let it go, go with the flow - of course things are disrupted, that's what a holiday does, give him and yourself a chance - it will not be for long

Fwiw and IMO, consistency at this age is a bit like pearls before swine! They do what they need to do when they need to do it and that does usually include some sleep at some point. (well lets hope so!)

FlllightAttendant that's kind of what I thought but being this tired makes me weepy and gives me severe SOH failure. Am feeling terrified that the longer this goes on the more likely it will be the new pattern he settles into

Oh you poor thing...I'm sure it won't be. Really, it will be fine - I never go anywhere and haven't a routine to disrupt but my best friend is often away on trips with her family and the little one always takes a week or so to adjust back. She always panics too!

It will be fine...try not to stress or he will be even worse!

Hope I didn't sound harsh btw. I think I would be going nuts too! x

hi phdlife! N has had his sleep patterns all messed up since xmas. We started giving him some cereal before bed and that gave us several nights all the way through but then he´s cut a tooth, and I think he´s cutting another, and he´s got a cold and he wants to stand all the time and will probably crawl soon. So like you I think it´s just a combination of things going on with him that just have to work themselves out. We´ve mostly decided to try and ride it out until at least this next tooth is through and the cold has cleared up and see where we are then.

You have my sympathy though, it´s really hard. N slept like a dream 8pm-3am this morning which was better than it´s been in ages. From 3am - 4am he was so awake dh got up and took him through to the sitting room. Then from 4am-6am we had him back in bed but he was NOT SLEEPY! We only held out til 6am because we were so tired, many a time we´ve also been up watching tv at 4am or 5am. It´s desperate.

don't worry, you didn't sound harsh

btw didn't mean he was wrongfooting me deliberately - only that I'm getting mixed signals about whether he wants to sleep or play, so don't know what flow to go with!

glad to hear about your friend though, if I thought it was only going to take a week I could probably grit my teeth... ( "only"!)

hi maveta, yes I remember reading your woes on the April '07 post-natal threads. always felt sympathy, but ds has previously been such a good sleeper I never imagined it would be this horrid.

how does your dh cope with work the next morning? I'm frantic for my dh, though he says not to worry...

The poo is more than likely linked to the teething.

He sounds like he is adjusting to UK time, and that & the teething will make him tired/clingy etc..

well he doesn't cope very well tbh and nor do I (I work 3 days a week). The lack of sleep does cause quite a strain and dh was like a big black cloud stomping through the house this morning (he goes to night school 5 days a week aswell!). But what can you do? Just have to get on with it, I find trying to find solutions/ fight against it just makes you feel more frustrated in the end...

hope it sorts itself out soon..

Only read the bit about both of you getting up so apologies if I miss the point. Have you tried ear plugs? Buy the soft ones. They don't block out 100% and you have to push them a reasonable amount into your ears so they don't fall out but they really do help one of you get some sleep. It helps us 'take turns' when DS is going through crazy sleep phase.

Maybe take him swimming in the afternoon to tire him out? So he sleeps well?