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[numberthirtytwowindsorgardens]

DD has just turned five months. She's always been a rubbish sleeper, but the last couple of weeks have been something else. She's barely managing an hour's sleep during the day, split across two 30m naps, and wakes every two hours overnight, usually getting up for the day at five.

At the moment, I just can't get her to go to sleep unless she's in a dark, silent room and I let her feed to sleep on top of me. Car, pram, rocking - none of these work. She's just woken from another twenty minute cat nap on top of me, and that will probably be it for her today. She's chronically exhausted and crying constantly because of it (her and me both) - help, please?

Optimistic bump.

I have a 4.5 month old. It's the regression! Tips for day naps is to use a soft sling and walk about dark room. Mine only naps like this. My husband does it at weekend and he can get 2 hours!
Dunno what to suggest about night time unless you fancy a bit of sleep training. Mine started waking every 45 mins to 1.5 hours. If I'd fed her (bf too) within last 3 hours I'd not feed her and I used the pick up put down gentle sleep training method. Pick up when really upset but out down when calmed. Reassured and she cried a bit but I did this for 2 nights this week and the worst was crying on/off for an hour. Rocking her, shushing her and feeding her was not working at all one night so just popped her in cot and she fell asleep eventually doing this and things much improved since! I guess because she's now use to going to sleep in cot?! Whereas before I'd feed / rock her then pop her down in deep sleep

I'm happy to do sleep training if it will work - the problem is (with both night and day sleep) that I have a 3yo too, so I can't really have her screaming at night time unless it's a very short term thing, and I can't keep sitting or walking with her in a dark room, because my 3yo doesn't cope with it!

Thank you for the advice 😊

If she is crying constantly from overtiredness then you may as well try sleep training to get her taking longer cot naps on her own, as well as improving night sleep. Yes she will cry a bit but she is crying anyway, and you can go in at 2, 4, 6, 8 minute intervals, pick up to soothe etc. Gentle training.

We did this for naps and night sleep and it worked from the first day! Place baby in cot when she's ready for sleep, leave the room and go back at gradually increasing intervals (or just stick with 2 mins if you like). It may take a few days but she should start to learn to put herself to sleep without you. Meaning when she stirs during naps or at night, she can self settle herself off again.

Agree with @cirillaofcintra - you've got nothing to lose at this point! There might be less crying overall
Google Jo Frosts Controlled Timed Crying Technique.

@cirillaofcintra how old was your DC when you did this please?

For the sleep training, should I begin with day naps or night sleep? I don't mind her feeding to sleep at bedtime and she usually goes down OK then; is it wiser to start training with the naps during the day?

How long would you give her in total before calling off the nap, if she doesn't settle?

Thank you for the advice!

I would start with night sleep as that's the time with biggest sleep pressure

Well, having said she usually goes down well at night, we ended up doing the sleep training tonight, because she just would not go to sleep. Lots of screaming. Feel awful.

She's asleep now. Do you think it will have helped her with her sleep? Really hoping not to have to do that again, poor little mite ☹️

She was 6 months and we did it as we wanted to move her to her own room for all naps and at night. Up til then she had been in a Next2Me or cosleeping at night, and in the pram/carry cot for naps.

@numberthirtytwowindsorgardens that was us with our first DD. One night nothing worked. We repeated it for all wake ups and naps. If you want to breastfeed at night choose certain times like every 3-4 hours but not feeding every time they woke. You will need to repeat this process over the next week. The crying times will reduce and within a couple of days they'll go down straight away

@numberthirtytwowindsorgardens well done! First time is the worst. Your life will change. Everyone will be more rested.

Thank you@sunflowerandivy She just slept for five hours, so that is kind of amazing in itself! Will keep repeating it and trust that it will get better. Thank you for talking me through it.

That's great news. Sometimes rocking, fussing, singing etc overstimulates them and they just need to be left to it to learn how to settle. Can you imagine being tired and someone jiggling you around?

Great to hear! Keep at it 😊

Mine was a bit of a monkey in the night. Mine is only 4 months so have been doing a more gentle approach of pick up put down and hand on tummy etc and it's made putting her down in cot much easier but from about 3am she's quite alert and currently practicing her new skill of rolling! She wasn't crying or anything, just awake chewing her hand and rolling around the cot. I'll definitely do a more structured controlled timed crying approach when she's around 5 months!

Well, she did well at the beginning of the night, but then woke at four and didn't go back to sleep! I think she's teething, which was why she was awake then, and I didn't have the heart to try to sleep train if she might be in pain.

So no progress today, but perhaps another day ...!

Good luck tonight @sunflowerandivy - hope there's less monkeying around!