Please help me...

[Sprat12]

...get my baby the fuck to sleep.

I am a woman on the edge. He has been a grizzly little miserable arse all day, and has not napped properly for more than 30 mins since about 4pm. He's 4.5 weeks so clearly needs his goddam sleep.

He's been fed (and consequently puked up all over me), had his nappy changed (and shat all over his Dad), been walked and rocked (and head butted me in the process). Now DH has yeeted him at me claiming 'he needs to sleep' as he has work tomorrow.

I need to sleep before I go fucking crazy, but there we go.

Please, please, wise people of MN, help me get this devil child to sleep.

NB: currently sleeping on my chest but every time I put the little fecker down in his Moses basket he screams blue murder 🙃

Ah OP it’s hard but honestly…. He’s so so tiny still and it sounds normal. He’s probably colicky. Infracol? Mattress raised ever so slightly? Something that smells of you nearby?

Is he swaddled? I didn’t do a dummy but I had one on hand just in case.

Does he have a lay flat pram? I used to rock the pram on some (desperate) nights or do laps of the kitchen then once DD was asleep park her up in the living room and I'd sleep on the sofa!

Yes a little colicky, already using infacol. Have previously swaddled then got a rollicking from the midwife as apparently you shouldn't swaddle with arms in anymore - who knew?!

Clearly, I am a first time mum so mildly clueless but Christ alive wouldn't it be useful if these things came with a handbook!

@23Elfie that's my next plan!!

Fourth trimester what you’re going through is fairly normal. Not easy. But normal!

It’s going to be ok. You’re in the thick of it but it’s going to get better, trust me. At the moment he needs lots of love and cuddles and your DH needs to help in anyway way he can, even if it’s just making you a bloody sandwich!

at that age I swaddled with arms in, no one told me not to. And that was seven months ago. They can’t roll, that’s when you’re not supposed to do it anymore I thought?

do you cosleep? Or can you consider safely doing so as a temporary measure so you get some sleep?

@Skinnermarink no we don't co-sleep, it bloody terrifies me.

Plus I've had a large glass of wine* this evening to calm the stress so I wouldn't take the risk. DH thrashes around like a sea lion on crack during the night so it's just too risky.

DS sleeps in his Moses basket next to the bed and usually goes down really well. I think I've been v.lucky up until this point!

Dying for a wee so I'm going to have to pop him down and hope for the best - wish me luck!

*2 large glasses of wine

Also re: swaddling - the MW said not to swaddle with arms in as they can't regulate their temperature if arms are tucked in. I already have anxiety about accidentally cooking the kid to death so we've avoided doing it!

Well I kicked DH out of bed for co-sleeping 🤣 it was a short measure, just until DS was a bit more settled. Didn’t swaddle him in the bed as yes it would be too warm. It’s not that scary honestly, keep it in mind for another night. Sounds like the wine very much needed tonight.

it’s knackering isn’t it? Just try and keep sight of the fact that literally everything is a phase, it’s temporary, it gets better.

Do you have the wonder leaps app? I've found it very accurate timings of when my little boy is going through a 'leap'. It might not help you now but it means I can see when the leap will end and his sleep will improve.
Hope it gets better. Sleep deprivation is so hard.

What I found most useful at that age was to warm up the cot with a hot water bottle, taking it out just before I placed baby in the cot.

I'd let her fall asleep in my arms, then watch her to see when she was in a deep sleep state. If her eyes were moving behind her eyelids, then it was too early as she was in REM stage. Do the arm drop test when it looks like they are in a deep sleep. White noise on.

When I placed her in the cot it was very slowly and gently, moving hand under her bum away first and placing that hand on her chest.

Is there a friend or relative that could pop by in the morning to look after the baby for a few hours so you can catch up on some sleep?

Sending you hugs.

Hope you managed to get some sleep OP! It’s brutal. I was cursed with a non sleeping newborn too and I remember the despair all too well. I second the swaddle, I wish we’d done it sooner with ours. She didn’t seem to like it at first so we didn’t use it but tried again in desperation a month or two later and it really helped with being able to put her down in the cot. I don’t know what official advice is but the midwife who came to visit us showed us how to do it with a light muslin so as not to overheat. That was only a year ago so mustn’t be against official advice if she showed us? We ended up using the gro bags which have poppers on the arms and then you can transition to arms out when baby is rolling. Presume you’ve tried white noise too? There was a video called something like Colicky Baby Sleeps to this Magic Sound on YouTube that I played on a loop for about 3 months straight and it really helped. Good luck to you x

@nibblette good call on the hot water bottle; I think moving from me where he is toasty and cosy into a cold basket is what's waking him up so I'll try that tonight.

He did sleep in the end last night - I sat with him on me for about 30 mins until he went into a deep sleep, popped him in his basket and gave full swaddling a go. It was fine, he didn't overheat and it actually settled him nicely until he woke for his next feed.

@EmmaInParis I swaddled with a cellular blanket last night but I've got a big muslin that I can try to avoid the overheating risk, thanks!

I hope you managed to get some sleep

id definitely ignore that MW’s advice about swaddling. Just use something lighter like a large muslin

@Sprat12 you can buy swaddled bags if you think your DS will like swaddling.

Mine wanted one hand up at all times. Was also a shit sleeper.

You have my sympathies

At that age my DD was the same. I used to put her in the stretchy sling and pace the house with white noise on my phone. When she was deep asleep I would sit down peel off the sling and roll her into her bedside crib, then lay with my hand on her and try to sleep myself! It's a tough time op. Try to get some sleep today!

Swaddling is your best friend. You can buy swaddle sleeping bags, very low tog to save faff of swaddling with blanket. Still swaddling my 4 month old this way

Awww I really do feel for you. I have a 9 day old and she may have one off moments where she sleeps in the moses basket but that's only because she has knackered herself out waking up every time I attempted to put her down. She konks out, I put her in the basket she wakes up. I've had a few bits of advice but it's tricky if you want to sleep and baby won't unless you are constantly holding her as the advice is "sleep when they sleep" - how can we if we have to hold them and make sure they don't roll onto the floor or something. I haven't tried cosleeping yet but some have sworn by it. People have told me this is definitely a phase and will go eventually but I really do empathise with you. If you find out what works please do share

Hey not sure how u have been getting on.
Try using white noise u can download playlist on Spotify. Works a treat with my lg