4.5mo napping hell

[Bluepolkadots42]

I thought I had cracked the shit naps by stretching wake times to 2h- 2h15m. However this morning they've been awake 2.5h then only managed 20 mins nap in car. Then put them down after 1h15mins and they've only slept 30mins.
I am so over them doing shit naps. Some days we end up with 6 naps unless I spend several hours of the day driving round and round in car to keep them awake. If the car stops they start to wake after 5 mind or.so (which is what happened this morning). I am exhausted. I have no time to do chores because I'm either lying in a dark room with them ready to replace a dummy after 20 or 30 mons in hope to stretch the nap or Im stuck in car driving round and round local area. I'm over it and I need some guidance on what I could try to improve this situation.
Today they woke up at 6.25 and have only had 50 mins day sleep across 2 naps. Wtaf?!

Ps. I have older child and have to do school runs. Cannot walk to school. It's an 8 min drive each way
Have to walk older kid into school they can't walk from car themselves so baby has to come with us which wakes the up taking car seat off isofix base.

I have a 4 month old shit napper too.
It's so draining everyday.
Wish I had an answer! Sorry, I don't but you're not alone. What time do you put your 4.5 month old to bed? I'm still putting to bed between 9-10pm and I get them up at 8 (they're usually already sleeping on me from 5/6am)

Solidarity to you also! It's just absolutely shitting relentless
I resorted to a rescue nap for 3rd nap of day and just let them knock back a bottle and held them. They slept for 90 mins. Why can they not do this in their cot?! We made it to end of day on 4 naps anyway.
So basically he always is ready to go to bed 12 hours after he woke up even if final nap only ended an hour before. Probably because naps are often so crap they only ever manage to scrap 3hours of total nap time on a good day and so they have far too much wake time in the day. It's weird they're able to go down for night so soon after a nap but working well atm and I'm not going to argue it because it means we can put baby and eldest down at similar time. So baby bedtime usually falls between 6.30 and 7pm.

Oh and just to make clear they don't sleep unaided until 6.20 or 6.30am. Anytime from 4.45am they start trying to wake up and I then have to replug their dummy every 5-15mins (depending) to keep them sleeping until a more sociable time. It's a horrible horrible habit I've created because I can't have them crying at 4.45 or awake and making noise because they'll wake their older sibling up. It's also another really shit aspect of their sleep that's doing my head in though!

I can't tell if you have twins or are using singular they... If you have twins I don't have any advice, but you're a hero and whatever you're doing to get through the day is what you should be doing.

If you have just the one baby, I'd suggest doing whatever works, IE feeding to sleep and contact napping. Do that for a week, so that baby isn't overtired, and then do a bit of research on age-appropriate sleep training and pick a method that feels right to you.

Oh deffo only have the 1!! Jesus I don't know how parents of multiples manage. They have my undying respect.
I think I'm just messing up their wake windows. In morning they are up at 6.20-6.30. We have to leave house at 8.20 so there isn't time for them to nap before we go- ive tried getting them down 40 mins before we are due to leave and no joy. I then have to keep them awake for 8 mins in car and they can then sleep on way back usually drop off around 8.55. Today they slept for 1h40mins which is great but starting to cost a lot in petrol as I have to keep driving around to keep them sleeping.
All other naps today have been in cot and not lasted longer than 32 mins. Is that even a sleep cycle length?! I've been working on 2-2h15m wake windows but clearly not sodding working. Just sick of having no 5ime to get anything I need to do done. Either stuck in a car or have about 20 mins per cot nap which is barely long enough to have a wee and start a chore. It's shit

What's with the 'they', how many are there?

DTs didnt nap properly until they were just over one, I dread to think what I spent on petrol driving around the south circular but at least I was think from all the walking to get them to sleep.

At 4.5m it would be very unusual to have a baby who slept for a long nap in the cot. I would strongly suggest contact naps, if you need to get things done invest in a good sling or baby carrier.

I would recommend contact naps for a baby that age. I eventually threw in the towel with my DD because she couldn’t nap for longer than 20minutes alone and continued this until she was about 14months. It’s annoying but when she napped well she was far more settled when she was awake and it meant I could do chores etc then as she was happy in her jumperoo etc. Otherwise she was just cranky. When she napped I watched rubbish tv, replied to emails, did weekly food shop online, Christmas shopping etc

I live in Bristol and drive out to Bristol airport a few times a week. Just a break from all the carting around in a sling

follow nanny Louenna’s sleep advice and routines. She is an angel.
she has an app. I can recommend it enough.

I think you need to lower your expectations really. I don’t know any 4 month olds who sleep long in their cots for a nap!

Well that's my expectations told- will resign myself to spending several hours a day in car. May have to remortgage house if petrol prices go much higher though!

Can you just say he or she? So much easier to follow.

sorry it’s not what you want to hear but at that age mine would only nap 30min or do in cot. Longer naps in buggy or on me.

Also if I needed a wee/lunch/whatever and mine wasn’t asleep, he went in a bouncy chair. He naps fine in his cot now, has done from 5-6 months so you might not be far off.

Do you walk anywhere? I've got a 4.5 month old who is a bad napper. When really struggling I go for a long walk with her in the pram. It ensures she gets a decent sleep, plus a bit exercise/chill time for me. Plus saves on fuel. Doesn't solve the house stuff; I usually do all that when she's asleep on a night.

I don’t drive so buggy was where the big naps came in. At least I got to listen to a podcast, grab a coffee or whatever so even though I was shattered, at least I felt like I was having a bit of time to myself.

I'm sorry my use of 'they' as singular pronoun has caused so many so much consternation. Is 'baby' better...? Or actually I'll use fake name- Al. Cos why not.
I don't do pram naps a) because where we live is semi rural so only pavementless country roads or footpaths to follow which involve stiles and cross field rambling. When we are out and about eg shops etc with buggy Al won't nap. Even with snooze shade.
Sling used to work well but now max 30 mins and I can't walk walk now with sling because Al is now so long (100th centile height) and there's an issue with my thighs hitting Al's feet as I'm striding. I realise that sounds mad but tis true and the thighs hitting feet issues inevitably disturbs poor Al! I can use sling if just pottering or even better just staying on spot and doing weird mum sway/jiggle/rock- some of you may be familiar with this.
Anyway, I live in hope that one day Al will be put in the cot and sleep for 45 mins or perhaps even an hour. In meantime I'll just keep on keeping on.

You have a sling that has Als legs dangle straight down? Baby Bjorn mini? Get a different sling, preferably via a sling library. My 10 months olds feet are by my hips and even my 3 year olds wouldn't hit in the way do describe because they're in a seated position in my carriers.

The bit about napping for a long time on you reminded me of this:

"Lots of people will say to me “if I breastfeed and hold my baby they sleep for an hour and a half, but only 45 minutes without me, so they must need an hour and a half”. Not necessarily! I liken this to swaying in a hammock with birdsong, the sun on you and a gentle breeze. Even if you weren’t tired you are likely to drop off to sleep because of the wonderful, comforting environment. I think sometimes breastfeeding and cuddling lengthens naps for this reason, not because the baby needs more! It’s likely that the 45 minutes is really what they need, they’re just lulled into having more with the wonderful comforting environment you provide!"

sarahockwell-smith.com/2017/11/01/in-defence-of-cat-naps/

DD used to reset her wake window on only 10 mins sleep a lot of the time, she didn't have naps longer than an hour till over one. I just went with it because it's impossible to make her do anything 🙄