Sleep training

[andriast001]

Hi all,
Really hoping someone has had a similar experience and knows what to do:
My ds is 6 months and I've been trying (and failing) to sleep train him for 2 months. To begin with it went perfectly, he was self soothing, waking for one feed and sleeping until 7am. He has always slept on his front, from when he was one month. After a couple of weeks of sleeping well he learnt to roll over from his back to his front (he'd already been able to roll from front to back) and since this development he has been a nightmare. From then on, whenever I put him down to sleep on his front he would immediately flip over and start either playing or crying, depending on his mood.

I left it for a couple of weeks and then decided to try again, this time using a blanket to pin him down on his front and stop him flipping. That worked for a week and then he figured out how to easily work himself free and goes back to balling. We're now in a situation where I'm back to rocking him to sleep for naps and nighttime, he sleeps on his front or side, wakes as soon as he's on his back and then is up for a couple of hours. I'm losing my mind.
My dd is 4 and I worry about waking her in the night with controlled crying, but at this point I'll try anything. Also dh is currently useless as ds has recently decided to be super attached to me and reject his dad at night. How can I teach him to sleep on his back? I've left him on his back for up to 1.5 hours, he'll happily play, but can't get to sleep.

Well I think it ‘failed’ at four months because that’s way too young to be doing any kind of training, it’s tiny.

they do go through a phase of flipping around once they learn how to do it. I’m not in support of controlled crying really although I know lots are, their choice. Honestly it’s a phase that I’d probably just work through. I can’t see how controlled crying would help him to be happier sleeping on his back? A grobag?

what does he sleep in?

Sorry that’s meant to say- what does he sleep in? A gro bag?

I agree 4 months is far too young
Maybe he's decided he doesn't want to sleep on his front? My DS sometimes is on his front and sometimes his back - he also hates gro bags and blankets. He'll be fine with just a sleepsuit on

I've just sleep trained my twins but they are 15 months - one sleeps on her front the other prefers his back

I did one night of controlled crying and couldn't do it again - mainly because it upset everyone in the house. I did the vanishing chair / pick up put down and within a couple of nights had cracked it. Bed times take around 45 mins of me sat up there now

I'm sorry it's not what you probably want to hear but 4 months and even 6 months are still too young for sleep training. At this point your child doesn't have the cognitive skills to learn what it is that you want to teach them. It's really hard, I say that as a mum with a 4 year old who didn't sleep through til he was 3 and a one year old who will often wake 2 times a night still. Loads of things can throw off their sleeping patterns in the first 18 months - teething, separation anxiety, learning a new skill and wanting to practice it rather than sleep etc.

Thanks for the advice so far, I'm the first to accept that maybe he doesn't want to sleep on his front anymore, but he doesn't seem able to sleep on his back. Should I just keep rocking him to sleep and then putting him down then? It just seems that surely at some point he needs to learn to deal with rolling over in his sleep?

Also, i should add that I didn't sleep train my 4 yr old, she didn't sleep through until she was there, but I only had one child to look after. The lack of sleep is seriously impacting on my relationship with dd. We live in a rural area so driving is imperative to get anywhere and I'm terrified of losing concentration because I'm so tired. I can handle getting up in the night for feeds, but he's up for an hour each time and needs to be rocked solidly for 30 mins to get back to sleep. The issue of being unable to settle on his back seems to be at the heart of it.

*she didn't sleep through until she was three

Yes a gro bag

It sounds tough Op. what is he sleeping in? A cot? When DS learnt to roll hé didn’t really know what to do with the big space of a cot. It took him a while to settle into it.

Thank you. Yes, he's in a cot and seems to like it - certainly when he wakes in the morning he happily plays around and seems to like exploring the space. Until recently I could comfort him by rubbing or patting his back/stroking his head, but flipped on his back he just keeps his eyes open and either laughs or cries, but doesn't respond to comforting. The only way to get him to sleep is rocking. I've tried rocking him to sleep and then laying him on his back, but he wakes distressed immediately, so he does seem to prefer his side or back.

I'm not anti-sleep training. I did it myself when mine were just over 1. But yes 4 months is too young. At that age i used to put them in their moses basket next to me and just pat them, rub them saying "Shhh" to settle them. Sometimes they'd fall asleep quickly, other times it would take ages - BUT they did learn that I wasn't going to pick them up after feeding them. Eventually they just learnt to sleep because nothing else was going to happen!

That's exactly what I was doing - maybe saying sleep training was too harsh. It just meant I made sure to put him down awake and then comforted him by rubbing or patting his back, but not picking him up. Now it's not possible, or doesn't seem to be.

The thing that jumps out to me here is that you tried to "pin him down" on his front using a blanket. Considering the safe sleep advice about always placing the baby on their back this was an incredibly risky thing to do and wouldn't advise anyone else using a similar tactic.

I do sympathise with the lack of sleep, though - it can be really hard. Do you have support? Early bed or lie in to compensate for the lack of sleep at night goes some way to helping.