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Sleep

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Original poster

Worried about sleep consultants

23 replies

Ohnoclio · 14/05/2022 19:24

I would like help from a sleep consultant. I’m tired and I think my toddler is too!

However, my worry is I’ll get advice I just can’t act on. What if she says to put him down at 7 and I know he won’t sleep? Or to do naps at certain times and he will not adhere to it?

sounds a bit silly but it worries me.

OP posts:

ChittyBang1987 · 14/05/2022 20:06

How old is lo? From my understanding they will give set nap times and for how long. Can take a few days then lo falls into a new routine.

Original poster

Ohnoclio · 14/05/2022 20:16

17 months … bur what if they just refuse the nap I suppose? I just don’t want it to add more stress when sleep is already a huge source of it.

OP posts:

ChittyBang1987 · 14/05/2022 20:21

The sleep consultants will likely advice what they feel is best course of action if lo refuses the nap.

Honaloulou · 14/05/2022 20:22

They’ll talk to you about what he does now, and use their experience to suggest what will work.

and there will be plan Bs (Cs, Ds…..) for if LO doesn’t comply. And they’ll probably be on the end of the phone if you need them too!

They won’t just churn out a generic plan that won’t work - it’s the personalised stuff that you’re paying for.

it was life changing for us.

Original poster

Ohnoclio · 14/05/2022 20:23

I suppose it’s the worry that if it doesn’t work then what! It’s nearly half eight and my DS is still up - I just can’t seem to get him to sleep at all!

OP posts:

1940s · 14/05/2022 20:31

My opinion about sleep consultants is that that take the money and ultimately they 'hand hold' you through some sort of cry it out. They want fast effects (which CIO) does and the money you pay is for them to say 'shush shush mummy don't feel guilty I'm an expert it's ok for them to cry'

I've never seen or heard of a sleep consultant that truly does a revolutionary gentle plan. So if you do use one they will recommend daytime routine such as waking at 7am, nap at 1pm-2.30 and bedtime at 7. But very very quickly it's a case of 'put them in bed, comfort them
Briefly then leave'

HSKAT · 14/05/2022 20:33

Why don't you tell us his current routine

HotDogKetchup · 14/05/2022 20:39

I used one and she worked with me, not against me. She found out about my dc and based her advice on that.

Thursday37 · 14/05/2022 20:45

It’s mostly overpriced twaddle, but some people feel better paying £100’s for what they can read on the internet for themselves.

I’m friends with a sleep consultant, lovely woman and her clients love her. But aside from being an experienced nanny she’s not qualified in anything special. I wouldn’t pay for it!

Fupoffyagrasshole · 14/05/2022 20:48

You have to commit to it to make it work - it will work eventually

I Started with the night times and left the naps out of it until night sleep was established

i put my daughter in the cot crying and Dee took turns going into her to lie her back down and pat her back to sleep - the first time it went on for an hour and a half and then She eventually went to sleep and that first night she slept a block of about 6 hours (after previously waking every hour)

did that for a few nights in a row and the crying time got shorter and shorter

then I started the naps - I’d put her in the cot and the first few times she didn’t sleep - but I left here there for up to 30 mins to get her used to going to bed at that time for naps and then eventually it all fell into place

if you aren’t ready to commit to it then I wouldn’t bother with the sleep consultant tbh

Maybe try on your own first?

ChittyBang1987 · 14/05/2022 20:51

Maybe as someone said tell us what the issues are and we can advise?
Will need sleep routine etc

Original poster

Ohnoclio · 14/05/2022 20:52

HSKAT · 14/05/2022 20:33

Why don't you tell us his current routine

Hard to because although he has a routine at nursery it can go to pot quickly at weekends - so today he fell asleep on the way back from a park visit so had a 10-1030 nap (was up at half six) but then slept again 130-230. Then went down (finally) about ten minutes ago …

But mostly up at 7, nap 12-2, bed theoretically half seven but mostly 830-9.

OP posts:

Goosey3 · 14/05/2022 21:00

@Ohnoclio When you say you “can’t seem to get him to sleep at all”...what is your current routine for putting him down at night?
I have a DS the same age who isn’t a perfect sleeper by any means but we might be able to compare routines 😊

AliceW89 · 14/05/2022 21:01

I think the advice on mumsnet is often just as good as an expensive sleep consultant. Most of it you can search for.

But mostly up at 7, nap 12-2, bed theoretically half seven but mostly 830-9

This seems pretty good. Normal sleep at this age is 11-14 hours total, split into roughly 2-3 hours of naps and 10-11 hours overnight. Your ticking all of these boxes. What are you finding problematic?

HSKAT · 14/05/2022 21:06

Ok so what is his routine at nursery?

Does he just have one nap at nursery?
Sometimes they play catch up on a weekend and have an extra nap, like the half hour today.

But it generally seems fine.

If he's fighting it at half 7 just bring him back downstairs until half 8 when you know he will fall asleep.

It's basically a case of stop making it harder for you and him trying to get him to sleep when he isn't tired.

drwitch · 14/05/2022 21:10

If they are getting enough sleep (which is sounds they are) the important thing is to find a routine that you all can live with. Eventually their sleep needs will coasle with the routine of the house. Their sleep needs are changing all the time. No point in pushing for an ideal 17 mnth routine if it will take until 24 months to establish by which time the needs will change.

Original poster

Ohnoclio · 14/05/2022 21:10

@AliceW89 doesn’t settle well overnight. He wakes up and often refuses to go back in his cot, gets very distressed, I can be up for hours with him.

OP posts:

collieresponder88 · 14/05/2022 21:18

You don't need a sleep consultant. Watch the 3 day nanny on you tube the back to bed routine. If you stick to it religiously it will work in three nights but you must do exactly what she says no matter how long it takes each night.

easyday · 14/05/2022 21:19

Just give it a try, if it doesn't work it doesn't work, but presumably these people know what they are doing.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 15/05/2022 12:34

It doesn’t sound like you are ready to give this a good go! So I wouldn’t waste the money on the sleep consultant.

Twizbe · 15/05/2022 12:39

First, you're creating a self fulfilling prophesy. You don't think he will settle therefore he doesn't.

Second, a sleep consultant for you might be more about helping you with routine, sticking to it and seeing it through.

titchy · 15/05/2022 12:54

Why are you putting him to bed at 7.30 when he doesn't sleep till 8.30 or 9? Put him to bed later!

Hexahop · 15/05/2022 12:56

@Ohnoclio I’d speak to the calmandbright sleep support ladies first, they have a questionnaire you do prior to starting and then are happy to chat informally. They can either gauge whether it’s a good fit for you or if not. We used all their free advice for my first and that was enough for us.

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