Ftm-- am I doing this wrong?

[LaylaS]

Hi all.

Need a bit of reassurance about ds's sleeping habits.

Ds is 9 weeks today. We have a bedside crib, which we arent getting as much use out of as I'd hoped.

I start the winding down for the day around 8.30pm: bath, lights dim, bottle (75%of it), burp, nappy change (as ds always poos during feeds), remaining bottle which really sends him to sleep in my arms. If i put him in crib straightaway, guaranteed he will wake 30mins later. So instead, i hold in my arms/chest til he's in a deep, then lie him in bed - we co sleep. He will sleep well next to me in the bed, wake every 4 hours at night for feed and easily drift off after the night feeds.

During the day however, his naps are much shorter. Unless of course we are on the road or pushchair.

He doesnt like his sleepyhead- naps no more than 30mins again in here. If i put him in crib during day naps, again only will last around 30mins. The only way i can get him to nap for longer in the day is if we sleep next to him in bed. Or if this nap starts off with me in bed and then i sneak away.

You hear about babies this age sleeping for 1-2 hours alone at this age too, so I dont know why mine doesn't. One thing it could be: he has a lot of spit up post feeds usually. And if he day naps, when he wakes up, he usually has spit up milk so i wonder if reflux is waking him?

Dh just popped back from pharmacy now with infant gaviscon.

Basically- am I creating a rod for my own back that he isnt sleeping in his crib yet?

Thoughts?

The gaviscon may cause more problems than good, it’s awful for making them consiiptated.

honestly your routine sounds perfect, its working so why try to change it?

It's not reflux. That wouldn't be day only. He just isn't wired that way. My ds was the same - good at night but my god getting him to sleep in day took 40 mins for a 20 min nap. He dropped day time naps entirely well before he was 2. Unless you're needing the respite (totally understandable) don't sweat it anymore. Also babies change all the time - it may well be different in a few weeks

My son was the same as yours he would sleep for 30 minutes tops if he was in his moses basket etc but napped very happily on me and was a great sleeper at night
I tried everything napping upstairs in his next to me, downstairs in the basket, in his pram, white noise, pitch dark you name it! nothing worked so he napped on me. When he got to about 6/7 months it was like a switch had flipped and he’d nap quite happily in his cot.
I think the issue is they don’t know how to connect their sleep cycles so when one finishes they can’t go into the next one and so they wake up.
9 weeks is still very young i’m sure he’ll get the hang of napping where you want him too with a bit more time.

No such thing as a rod for your own back when they're tiny. Enjoy the sleep, do whatever gets you all good rest. I miss those days beside DD listening to podcasts or watching stuff on my phone/reading Kindle while she napped. It's over before you know it!

Because dh sprawls out at night, and leaving not much room for me, and baby is growing.

Both dh and I agree that him moving to another room/bed isnt an avenue we wanna go down, so I suppose I want ds to actually use the bedside crib- which took dh a while to put together!

Yes the cuddles are the best and its comforting as a mother to know they getting a good night sleep next to you, if thats the type of baby they are and if you're happy to co sleep too. I get it aint for everyone

Im just sick of people (mainly the mother in law) saying how he should be sleeping more, in his crib bla bla bla bla

Congratulations on your baby.

Firstly, older generations were told babies should be clean, fed then put in a cot etc otherwise they’d become needy/clingy etc. Research today shows that isn’t true. Babies naturally want to be close to their care givers. This is exhausting for us but reassuring, comforting and healthy for baby. They will become independent sleepers eventually, all in their own time.

So you most definitely aren’t doing anything wrong!

Maybe try the crib at the beginning of the night. If it works, great, if not, try again the next night but only if you actually want to. Holding, cuddling, rocking, feeding etc are all natures way of helping baby go to sleep feeling safe and loved. Some babies naturally go into cord/cribs without fuss - not necessarily because of any great routine, it’s just they have a temperament which allows it.

Congratulations on your baby. Your little one is still in the fourth trimester and is biologically primed to want to be close to you as much as possible, which obviously impacts on sleep! I know many mums who co-sleep at nap times too, not just at night, or need baby in the sling, feeling their heartbeat to sleep.

You're doing great. Night time sounds amazing. Mine has never done more than 2-3 hours ever, at 10 months now, so I consider a few two hour stretches a good night!

The difference between babies that are the rare magical unicorns who just merrily go down and sleep and the majority who don't seems to be nothing to do with routine and more good luck and baby's personality. That's why there are so many parents who find they do exactly the same parenting with two infants and get totally different results.

You have a normal healthy baby, congratulations. It's too early to sleep train, if that's the route you want to take.

Thanks.

The routine naturally happened. And some days, its an hour over or before so I'm really not bootcamp about it.

You've got an MIL issue not a baby issue.

Do what's working for you with your tiny baby. My non-sleeper attached to me 24/7 if possible child is now a great sleeper- goes to sleep independently (mostly, eventually) and then usually nothing til I wake him for school.

took time and I didn't push anything as I wasn't happy to do so.

But I have a very loving DS aged almost 5 who has learnt, in his own time.