To sleep train or not

[Mangomammy]

My once brilliant sleeping 5m baby is now a nightmare during the night and I’m really starting to struggle. We’re lucky if he goes 2 hours without waking up, but it can be as little as 30mins.
We have a bedtime routine, appropriate awake windows during the day, get up at roughly the same time (6-6.30) and bedtime is roughly 7.30, he gets around 2-2.5 hours of naps during the day.

Help

Depends what type of sleep training your thinking. I believe the cc is recommended for 6 months plus, which is very controversial on mumsnet.

We did cc at 6 months old and worked well

@ChittyBang1987
I wasn’t planning on CC, but interested on how you found it- how long did you leave little one to cry? Did you dream feed/ feed during the night still?

You can do gentle sleep training at this point - getting them in to a good bedtime routine, white noise, blackout blinds etc. Don’t necessarily pick them up every time they cry but try and shush them in the cot to get them used to self soothing.

CC only to be used from 6 months but does work very well at that point.

Hi,
Is so tough!!! My boy was like this from 3.5 months and I started gentle sleep training and introducing a comforter to get him self settling at 6mo.
Not sure how you're currently getting your baby to sleep but they need to be falling asleep in the cot, ideally on their own. You can do this gradually. The longer you leave it the more difficult it gets as they become more aware and stubborn 🤣

I will copy and paste a reply I posted on another similar thread recently, is a bit long winded so I won't rewrite it.

From about 4.5mo I started introducing a comforter all the time. Nappy changes, in the pram, when feeding etc.

At the same time I started habit stacking to stop the feed to sleep association. I would feed him to sleep whilst patting his bottom and shushing, then I'd gradually unlatch him just as his eyes were going, then slightly earlier so he would feed and I'd finish him off by shush patting. I was then eventually able to put him in the cot awake and shush pat him to sleep with him holding his comforter.
The last stage was to then leave him on his own. I did controlled crying in 2-3 min bursts. I think the first time I did it was first nap of the day. He actually went down without much trouble the first time, I was really surprised. I think I only went in and out twice. I fed him to calm him down then put him back with the comforter. (Feeding to comfort them was only reccommended up to 6mo in the Little Ones guide I used).
Over the next couple of days there were varying degrees of crying when I put him down but I don't remember it lasting half an hr or anything. Was no more than going in and out a few times. There have been a couple of regressions since, I think one at 8mo and 12mo where he has been funny for a couple of days and not wanted me to put him down. If this happens I would sit on the ground next to the cot and shussshh and pat the matress rhythmically. He would lie down within a couple of mins and soon go to sleep, so that technique could work if you didn't want to do the in and out of the room crying.

He still woke up in the night for a couple of feeds which I still continued with but they were definitely less than before. If his dad put him to bed sometimes he would sleep till 3am!
Naps were far longer, I was actually able to get stuff done and wasn't sitting there for half an hr trying to get him to sleep. Though speaking of naps I could never get him settling on his own for the third nap, always did this on me or in the pram.

Good luck xx

If you decide sleep training isn't for you just know that this won't last forever. My DD was the same from around 3.5mo. We started co-sleeping because it was the only way I was getting longer than an hours sleep. She's 9mo now and goes to sleep at 8, has a feed at 11ish then sleeps through until 5 when she has another feed and drops back off for a couple of hours.

I didn’t sleep train. My just turned 2 year old still doesn’t sleep through. In hindsight I would do things differently…

I did do shushing in cot.

Cc I left 1, 3, 5, 7, (minutes) I just went in, comforted in cot and never picked up. I tapped dummy and made shhhh noise.

I still did dreamfeed. And at 5am if needed. Its important to know Los cry.

Thanks everyone
@Geranium1984 i really appreciate your advice, I’d never heard of habit stacking but will introduce this tonight.

Baby falls asleep on boob, then essentially “dream feeds” for anything upto 30 mins. Wouldn’t he be hungry if I stop this?

Do people just never pick them up after bedtime (apart from feeding) regardless of how much/ hard/ sore they’re crying?

@ChittyBang1987 was 7 minutes the most you waited?

How long did it take to get into a good routine - I’ve seen people saying within a few days you’d see a big improvement, but I can’t e believe it!

Most I ever got to was 7 mins.
My oh was just over 10 mins. I did it for about 5 days but by 4th or 5th day it was more of a whinge. only advice is stick to bedtime routine don't differ or rock to sleep. I found that set back my kid and she need a night of cc again.

I would say we chose a routine and it has altered slight as lo is older and her needs have changed. Only things like feeding downstairs, or brushing teeth etc.

I do know people that have got to over an hour with cc.

@ChittyBang1987 10 minutes sounds doable, an hour would kill me.
Did you notice any changes in day time napping?

Sorry for the questions.

I think it differs depending on your baby, Yes I did notice she slept longer and linked sleep cycles easier.

Ask as many as you like, but may be worth having a search at mumsnet old posts about cc.

I sleep trained with controlled crying my first at 14 months I didn’t feel comfortable doing it before then but actually it wasn’t that bad at all. With my second I tried at 7 months and it didn’t work then I tried every couple of months but he was getting too upset so I cuddled to sleep again but at 11 months it worked really well and he’s been sleeping through ever since, is now 14 months. So if you try it and he is getting too upset and it doesn’t work then I would have a break and try again.